What If™...Michael Bay Made a Comic Book Version of Glen Campbell's Classic Song "Wichita Lineman?"

Cover of Battle Fire #2 (Magazine Management (Australia), January 1956), artist unknown

Paper Doll Month, Day 5: Na na na na na na na na Flatman

Not technically a paper doll, but it is a doll and it's paper and it's my blog and I wanna post it.


"Flatman Action Figure" from GLX-Mas Special one-shot (February 2006), script by Dan Slott, pencils by Mike Wieringo, inks by Karl Kesel, colors by Wil Quintana, letters by Dave Lanphear

Batman Is Present at the Great Disasters of the Past: Oh, the Batmanity

And now for the debut of a little feature we like to call Batman Is Present at the Great Disasters of the Past! The concept is simple and straightforward: Batman is present at...well, you get the picture.

Tonight: Batman Is Present at the Hindenburg Disaster!


Panels from Detective Comics #519 (October 1982), plot by Gerry Conway, script by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Don Newton, inks by John Calnan, colors by Adrienne Roy, letters by Ben Oda


(Too soon?)

Also in this historic issue: Dick Grayson's unbearably adorable snowsuit! Bruce won't let him go out to play in the snow until he's all wrapped up in it!


Say, haven't you ever wondered: what is the only thing that Batman can do?

Paper Doll Month, Day 4: Mopsy!

Hey, it's Mopsy! (Not pictured: Flopsy, Cottontail, Peter.)




"Mopsy Modes" from Mopsy #19 (St. John, September 1953), pencils and inks by Gladys Parker

Mopsy! She's the sexy-sweet heartthrob of a generation! But sadly, this current generation has mostly forgotten all about her.


Cover of Mopsy #19 (St. John, September 1953), pencils and inks by Gladys Parker

The immigration situation at Riverdale High

Panel from "The Unwanted" in Archie at Riverdale High #50 (December 1977), script by Frank Doyle, pencils by Stan Goldberg, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Paper Doll Month, Day 3: Wait, when did this happen? I don't remember this

"Mary Jane Watson Paper Doll" from Marvel Age #54 (September 1987), pencils by John Romita Sr., inks by Vince Colletta, colors by Janet Jackson. Why the Sam Scratch are they credited in reverse on the page, huh?

Homicidal Zing!

Panels from Sherlock Holmes: Moriarty Lives #5 (July 2014), script by David Liss, pencils and inks by Carlos Furuzono, colors by Josan Gonzalez, letters by Joshua Cozine

Paper Doll Month, Day 2: Glx sptzl glaah!

"Pint-Size Pin-Ups" from Sugar and Spike #46 (April-May 1963), art by Sheldon Mayer

Corner Box Thor Is Just Happy to See You

Today in Comics History, September 1, 1989: The Gotham Gazette just gives up and distributes a Xerox™ed newsletter

from Detective Comics #608 (DC, November 1989), script by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Steve Mitchell, colors by Adrienne Roy, letters by Todd Klein
Also in this issue: Batman goes FRATCH!


Fratch, everybody! Fratch.

Paper Doll Month, Day 1: We'll miss you, Stan Goldberg

It's September 1! (Did you remember to say "rabbit, rabbit" first thing this morning?) That means it's time for another month-long feature to amuse and edumacate you while I try to untangle all the files that make up the long-on-hiatus 365 Days of KirbyTech feature. This month, all month, you'll need a printer, cardboard, a glue-stick, and sharp scissors (or, a parent or guardian with sharp scissors). That's right, it's a month during which you can create your very own personal papyrus platoon based on this feature — it's Paper Doll Month! And I absolutely promise you: no Katy Keene!

That said, it's a bittersweet beginning to the feature as we salute one of the greatest artists of comics in all genres (but especially teen and comedy books), Stan Goldberg, who passed away yesterday. Stan was an extraordinary artist who, altho' he frequently drew within a publisher or line's house style, gave his own distinctive and energetic feel to his work. Even if he was uncredited (or, in the case of Marvel's teen/comedy/romance titles, frequently credited as Sol Brodsky), you could identify his art. Just as Carl Barks was commonly known as "The Good Duck Artist" in Disney comics before creator credits were printed, I've always considered Stan Goldberg as "The Good Archie Artist." (I really like Dan DeCarlo too, but so many fo my favorite stories are by Goldberg.)

He was an accomplished colorist responsible for the vast majority of the covers of the Atlas and early Marvel Age, and he was fluent in several styles. Here's examples of his paper doll work for Marvel's Patsy Walker and supporting characters:




Paper doll pages from Patsy and Hedy #107 (August 1966), art by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen
Okay, okay, maybe these aren't "technically" paper dolls and they don't have tabs, but it's my blog and I say it's paper dolls and to heck with it.

Ten of a Kind: It wasn't a rock

Hey, why is it that any time cartoonists and comic book artists draw live lobsters, they still color ‘em red, instead of green? (They don’t turn red until you boil ‘em so you can eat their delicious, delicious flesh.) And interestingly enough (if’n you’re into that thing), somebody at Western Comics/Gold Key musta noticed, because when they eventually reprinted that Moby Duck comic, they color-corrected the lobsters!:



The only covers in the Ten of a Kind above that don’t actually violate this rule are 2000 AD (which is in black-and-white), Archie (which doesn’t show a lobster) and Marvel’s Fallen Angels, which shows two lobsters: one green and one blue. The green lobster is Bill the Cyborg Lobster…

Pages from Fallen Angels #8 (November 1987), script by Jo Duffy, pencils by Joe Staton, inks my Tony DeZuniga, colors by Petra Scotese, letters by Bill Oakley
(Click picture to LobsterFest-size)
...and the blue one is Don the Mutant Lobster, who I think really oughta be on the teaching staff at the Jean Grey Academy. Marvel Comics: unfair to 1980s miniseries lobsters! Still, we can thrill to the fact that they were considered worthy of an entry in The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe! Now that's comic book validation!

from Marvel Pets Handbook one-shot (August 2009), art by Kerry Gammill
(Click picture to 1989-Deluxe-Edition-size)

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

Batman's Great Escapes Month, Day 31: Batman says goodbye

Panels from Batman: The Dark Knight (November 2011 New 52 series) #17 (April 2013), script by Gregg Hurwitz, pencils and inks by Ethan Van Sciver, colors by Hi-Fi, letters by Dezi Sienty
Special End-of-the-Month Bonus Links!: Check out these riffs on Batman's Great Escapes by the titanic Ty Templeton and the devilish David "Dumbing of Age" Willis!

But sadly, this feature now has to disappear into the dark (k)night. What's in store for September, you ask? Could it be a month full of...Professor X's Shiny Bald Head?!?*

*No.

Today in Comics History, August 30, 1992: Choose Your Own Ad-venger

The date: August 30! The year: 1992! And you have your choice of two possible earths: the one where the world blew up and killed everybody...


from Avengers (1963 series) #355 (Marvel, October 1992), script by Bob Harras, pencils by Steve Epting, inks by Tom Palmer, colors by Tom Palmer, letters by Bill Oakley
...or you could pick the one with the newfangled version of Avengers Mansion, the one that looks like the Contemporary Hotel at Walt Disney World!


Yep, the 1990s Avengers Mansion: the architecture that makes today's Avengers Tower look like a masterpiece of Frank Lloyd Gehry artisanship. And it's the reality where all the Avengers wore leather jackets. The one where the Black Knight runs around all the time without a shirt.



Uh...I think I'll take the global apocalypse, please.

Psylocke Psaturday: The X-Position Agenda

Psylocke's next appearance is in 1990's annual, and hoo boy, is is eminently skippable.


Panels from "The Fundamental Thing" in Uncanny X-Men Annual #14 (1990), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Mark Heike, inks by Geof Isherwood, colors by Nelson Yomtov, letters by Michael Heisler
This is the period when the X-Men have been dispersed and scattered in groups around the world, so every few issues follows another X-Man or three. Wolverine, Jubilee, and Psylocke are working their way across Asia, but they can't escape that year's X-Men/New Mutants/X-Factor/Fantastic Four Annual crossover "Days of Future Present," which, despite riffing on the title of one of the greatest X-Men stories and one of the greatest X-Men movies is...can I say it? It's not very good.. Most of the four issues involve the adult Franklin Richards, possibly from the future, who the heck knows?...skipping around and cameo-crashing in everybody's annual. Why is it I love the kid Franklin Richards and loathe the adult one? Ah, if o0nly he had crossed over into the 1990 Punisher Annual.

Wolvie, Jubie, and Psychie don't even appear in the lead story of X-Men Annual #14 (which, to be fair, has some fairly lovely Art Adams artwork whose continuity is marred by an uneven roulette wheel of assorted inkers) but in a back-up which serves a duel purpose of slightly tying into the main story and Wolverine recounting the history of the X-Men, both the Original Fab Five and the All-New, All-Different, in extremely text-heavy, caption box-crowded flashback panels:


(Never mind that the same recap concept had been done much, much better in UXM #138):


Panels from [Uncanny] X-Men #138 (October 1980); co-plot and script by Chris Claremont; co-plot and pencils by John Byrne; inks by Terry Austin; colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
Wolvie doesn't even stop telling the tale to the skeptical Jubilee and the vaguely disinterested Psylocke when Franklin Richards and Rachel "I'm the Phoenix With the Spikes on Her Costume" Summers visit Wolverine to remind him to tie this story into the Annual's main plot.


Special guest appearance by Baby Cable oh geez just kill me now


Oh, and Jubilee and Phoenix have a catfight. Jubilee versus Phoenix. Let's just think about that for a while. Which one of those combatants do you think is more likely to wind up in a pile of flash-fried ashes?


So there ya go: X-Men Annual #14. It had Psylocke in it but not very much. In fact, there was more real estate taken up by word balloons than by Ms. Betsy Braddock. Oh, and collector/fanboys? First published appearance of Gambit.


Panel from "You Must Remember This" in Uncanny X-Men Annual #14 (1990); script by Chris Claremont; pencils by Art Adams; inks by Dan Green, Bob Wiacek, Al Milgrom, Art Thibert, and/or Steve Mancuse; colors by Brad Vancata, letters by Tom Orzechowski
So be sure that you bag and board this turkey, folks!

Batman's Great Escapes Month, Day 30: Nobody expects Batman not being a jerk

Panels from Detective Comics #871 (January 2011), script by Scott Snyder, pencils and inks by Jock, colors by David Baron, letters by Jared K. Fletcher