Bear Attack! Month, Day 12: Manhunter's Martian Mitts Maul Monstrous Man-Bear

Panels from "The Last Days of J'onn J'onzz" in Detective Comics #306 (August 1962), script by Jack Miller (?), pencils and inks by Joe Certa
And now, the Three Greatest Lines of the Entire Silver Age!:

Batman Did It First: You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

Hey, I bet you remember this exciting action sequence from the worst James Bond movie, Octopussy Moonraker, in which 007 is trapped in one of NASA's high-speed G-force test centrifuges, in which the astronauts not only train but they also mix their delicious, cold refreshing Tang. How will James get out, how will he get out?


Oh. He used a gadget. Cheatypants. James Bond is a big cheatypants!

Well, that was pretty impressive, Mr. Simon Templar, but I think that you know what we say around here: Batman Did It First! And he did it in this story entitled "Batman Pounds a Beat!" Not to be confused with the tale of financial espionage and how Bruce Wayne supported the United Kingdom's move from cash sterling to the euro, entitled "Batman Beats the Pound!"



Panels from "Batman Pounds a Beat!" in Batman #77 (June-July 1953), Batman and Robin figure pencils by Bob Kane, other pencils by Lew Schwartz, inks by Charles Paris
Whoa, mama! Batman did that in 1953, and James Bond didn't do that until 1979. Later if you watched it on the ABC Sunday Night Movie! In fact, since Ian Fleming published the book of Moonraker in 1954, maybe he stole the idea from Batman! Huh? Huh? Did you ever think of that? Fleming, ya rotten bat-plagiarist! Except the novel Moonraker had nothing to do with the movie and is in fact the only James Bond novel which takes place entirely in England, without a single scene in any exotic locale such as Hong Kong, Jamaica, or Gotham City. So I guess we can't pin this crime on Ian Fleming. (Darnit!) And the novel has been reprinted many, many more times than the Batman story.


Why, you might even say that Batman is...too hot to handle!


NOW CUT THAT OUT MISTER FLEMING

Play us off, Dame Shirley!

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 162: It'll Never Last

House ad for Lois Lane #86 (October 1968); printed in Teen Titans (1966 series) #17 (September-October 1968)
Comic cover art: pencils by Neal Adams, inks by Al Plastino

Bear Attack! Month, Day 11: Jack Nicklaus Attacks!

Panels from "Assignment: How I Spent My Summer Vacation" in Archie at Riverdale High #94 (December 1983), script by Rich Margopoulos, pencils by Stan Goldberg, inks by Rich Lapick, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

I was going to do a big post for you tonight...

...but my copy of The Ditko Public Service Package arrived today!


You can order yourself up a copy here!

Today in Comics History, June 10: Jane gathers more to talk about with her therapist

from "The Wild One" in Young Lovers #17 (Charlton, December 1956), script by Joe Gill (?), pencils by Bill Molno (?), inks by Sal Trapani (?), letters by Jon D'Agostino

Today in Comics History, June 10, 1916: Ellie Marsten does not enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey

from Sandman (1989 series) #1 (DC, January 1989), script by Neil Gaiman, pencils by Sam Kieth, inks by Mike Dringenberg, colors by Robbie Busch, letters by Todd Klein

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 161: Today in 1969, DC totally gives up on attracting the female audience

House ad for Swing with Scooter #20 (August-September 1969)
and Jimmy Olsen #122 (September 1969); printed in Batman #214 (August 1969)

Comic cover art: Swing with Scooter #20: pencils and inks by Henry Scarpelli
Jimmy Olsen #122: pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Neal Adams

Ad designed and lettered by Gaspar Saladino

Bear Attack! Month, Day 10: Next up on PBS: Ken Burns's Animal Civil War

Panel from "George Washington's Teeth!" in Herbie #8 (March 1965), script by Shane O'Shea, pencils and inks by Ogden Whitney, letters by Ed Hamilton

Ten of a Kind: Hangin' Out in the 3-1-3

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 160: He knows his mind all right, your Anti-Superman

House ad for World's Finest Comics #159 (August 1966); printed in Batman #182 (July-August 1966)
Comic cover art: pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein, letters by Ira Schnapp
What's this? Anti-Superman and Anti-Batman? Why, this sounds like the Silver Ageiest comic book of them all! Let's take a look!


Panels from "The Cape and Cowl Crooks" in World's Finest Comics #159 (August 1966), script by Edmond Hamilton, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein
Anti-Superman and Anti-Batman! They're Clark and Bruce's aunties evil doubles! They're paying Superman back for what he and Batman have done to "great men" like Luthor, Brainiac and Pen...BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA! No, I'm sorry, I couldn't complete that sentence with the word "Penguin" and still keep a straight face.


Everything Superman and Batman aren't, they are! Like ruthless, evil, and disobedient of common traffic laws and courtesies. Here, Anti-Batman anti-swipes Batman into a statue of himself. Holy Antidisestablishmentarianism, Batman!


How distressing is this macabre chain of events? So distressing that Lois Lane can't get her job done! So...business pretty much as usual then, huh?


Anti-Batman: unmasked! Why, it appears to be the time-traveling young Officer Jim Gordon, fresh from his appearance in Batman: Year Minus Ten. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling caped crusaders!


Which can only mean that Anti-Superman can be but one single person: young Lex Luthor Perry White! After exposing themselves to a formula that turns them evil (aka Arby's Horsey Sauce), Jim and Perry decide to de-age themselves in order to create mischief and havoc for the World's Finest team. That...that makes sense...by Silver Age standards...kind of.



Anti-Superman and Anti-Batman! Beware, because they just might be...your closest friends! And maybe, just maybe, if you're good, they'll come back in the New 52. THIS I SWEAR.

Bear Attack! Month, Day 9: In which Nadia is a badass

Panel from Classics Illustrated #28 [Jules Verne's Michael Strogoff] (September 1948), script adaptation by Pat Adam, pencils and inks by Arnold Hicks

Psylocke Psaturday #15: Heavens to Betsy

So, where were we? Ah yes...Betsy has come to America, is living in the X-Mansion, and is in the diabolical clutches of scripter Chris Claremont, who will fill her life with unbearable angst, even more so than under the magic, bearded hands of Alan Moore. As Uncanny X-Men Annual #10 opens, the Uncanny Ones are working out in the Danger Room (again). Betsy's either running the controls or maybe laying down some backing tracks for Supertramp, and Cypher and Sunspot are alongside, angsting away. Well, I told you it was a Claremont comic.


Panels from [Uncanny] X-Men Annual #10 (January 1987), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Art Adams, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Petra Scotese, letters by Tom Orzechowski
Suddenly Longshot! Which is something different than Suddenly Susan or Suddenly Salad. Ann Noincenti and Art Adam's luck-based superhero teleports into the Danger Room and into the X-Men's lives, accompanied by a whole slew of sticky goo. Look, it's best not to think about all the goo everywhere. Anyway, all of the X-Men including Betsy are covered in it. Even Nightcrawler's scary, scary toes.


A note for all you X-Men trivia buffs: Wolverine's eye line is on the same level as Psylocke's breasts. So that explains that.


Where there's Longshot, there's also Mojo, but I'm going to spare you the sight of any panels that feature probably one of my least favorite X-Nemeses. Especially the panel of him in a pig mask. Instead, let's look at Rogue's first pre-Gambit crush. She's heavily into them, not least for the reason that they have similar mullets. Also in this scene: the panel border warns them to hold it.


The mysterious goop has de-aged all the X-Men and turned them into...oh, dear, it's the first appearance of the X-Babies. Sigh. Nobody explains how their uniforms shrunk with them (unstable molecules, probably), or why, as the other X-Men de-age from their twenties to pre-teens (and Kitty Pryde to a baby), Wolverine is also a kid. Well, still, it's nice to see him without his arms being covered in hair for once.


As much as I loathe the X-Babies, you cannot deny this is the single greatest exclamation ever out of the mouth of Wolverine:


Meanwhile, the New Mutants, who have changed into their individual, "grown up" costumes that we'd seldom see ever again, are tracking the X-Babies, who have been led by Mojo to a production of Shakespeare in the Park. I am not kidding you.


Present in the audience: the Bratpack from Longshot (also seen in New Mutants Annual #2)...


Also present: Puddlegulp and the frog family from Thor #364-366 (yes, the ones where Thor got turned into a frog). And: Walt and Louise Simonson.


Somewhere also in this issue is supposed to be Carrie Kelley, the futuristic Robin from Batman: The Dark Knight. But I can't find her (she's probably among the audience members). Anybody who knows where she is, let me know so I can post the panel!

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ADDED ON JUNE 9, 2013: Hooray; I knew one of my faithful readers with better eyes than my button ones would come through! Thanks to the ID by by Boistrous Bully backer OTL in the comments, here's Carrie Kelly, and I'm ashamed I didn't recognize her dialogue!:


And sitting next to her is Michelle, ma belle Carrie's cautious companion:


Panels from Batman: The Dark Knight (1986 limited series) #1, script and pencils by Frank Miller, inks by Klaus Janson, colors by Lynn Varley, letters by John Costanza
A closer look at Carrie:


But who's this Art Adams-added aquatic-appearing animal-man in the same panel?!?


I'm baffled! Answers on a postcard to get your name added in another color in a second edit to this post!

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Oh yeah, I forgot: this is a post about Psylocke. Like the other X-Men, she's been returned to her original age but turned into a villain by (sigh) Mojo. You can tell she's not a hero by her color scheme. Green and purple? No self-respecting Marvel superhero would be seen in those two colors.


I also forgot to mention all the New Mutants have pink masks. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Tim Gunn could not join the Marvel Universe fast enough. Yep, even Cypher's Cyclops-wannabe visor has a pink screen. And Wolverine is running around naked. Golly GUMbucks, Claremont!


We begin to see the genesis of the ruthless ninja "kill 'em all and let Jim Shooter sort 'em out" version of Psylocke:


By the end of the issue Longshot has joined the X-Men and we're barreling headlong towards the Outback era of the X-Men, where they sit around eating steak and onion blossoms are headquartered in an Australian hidden base. Psylocke will be a major player during this era of the X-Men, so stay tuned: Ol' Purple-Head will be back!

Next up: We've seen Betsy Braddock among the X-Men, but when did she decide to be an X-Man? We'll see how and why and what hideous monstrosity of fashion she'll be wearing in Uncanny X-Men #213, which I think happens chronologically before this Annual because Longshot isn't in it, but who the heck knows? All I know is that it's drawn by Alan Davis, so it's Psylocke at her Psylockiest. And facing off against Sabretooth. Hope you survive the experience!


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #213 (January 1987), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Chris Claremont, inks by Paul Neary, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski