Sunday, March 13, 2022

Today in Comics History, March 13: Happy birthday, Heat Wave!

We're havin' a Heat Wave!


No, no, not one'a those: one'a these: Mick Rory, one of Flash's Rogue's Gallery, better known as Heat Wave, is having a birthday today! Happy birthday, Heat Wave, ya big fiery galoot! Be sure to blow out the candles on your cake and...oh, he's set the entire cake on fire.


from Super DC Calendar 1976 (DC, 1975)




Heat Wave was created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino and first appeared in a story in The Flash #140, cover-dated November 1963, so that one's definitely going into my JFK conspiracy theory folder.


cover of The Flash (1959 series) #140 (DC, November 1963), pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Murphy Anderson, letters by Ira Schnapp

Now that we've established that Commander Chilly is going to cool off the Flash and Heat Wave is going to turn him into a cinder, let's turn to one of DC's always-accurate splash pages that just repeats what it says on the cover, that it's the Flash who is going to be cooled off and cinderellaed..


from "The Heat Is On... For Captain Cold" in The Flash #140; script by John Broome, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Joe Giella, letters by Joe Letterese (?)

OH COME ON NOW, GUYS, PICK A TARGET AND STICK WITH IT

Anyway, for Corporal Cool, the heat is on


Yes, yes, we know, Glenn Frey...look...just get back in the cupboard untl we need you...go ahead...yes, that's it. (locks cupboard door from the outside) But for Barry Allen, the heat is even...more...onner, because he's just been caught by fiancée and professional snoop sister Iris West, taking a second glance at a pretty woman on television. Geez, Barry, what did we tell you? That's the first thing you have to learn not to do when you have a girlfriend!


Barry cooks up a tall tale explains cooly and without hesitation that the woman is involved in a case for the Flash which involves peeking at their backs. Aw, c'mon, Barry, just admit you're a butt guy.


As our good pal Comics Outta Context sez: it's time for #ComicsOutofContextAfterDark!


Let's sum up the story so far using the method that the kids today can understand: a meme! Expertly created by me using PhotoShop and also some scissors and paste, and now my copy of Flash #140 has holes in it. But I did it for you!


Now, guess who else has a crush on Dream Girl (copyright ©1964 Legion of Super-Heroes)? That's right! It's Commodore Chilblains! That's ought to cause some comic book-style hijinks in the vein of Three's Company, I'm sure.


Battle on the Infinite Infantino Sidewalk! Oh hey, so that's the costume you're gonna stick with, Heat Wave? No, no, no reason I mentioned it, just (giggle)...just asking (guffaw).


Guess who else has a crush on Dream Girl? Geez, you guys, just get a Farrah Fawcett poster.


As a scientist, Barry Allen knows that intense heat is always accompanied by light, because he has never heard of friction, and has yet to own a microwave.


All's well that ends well, until the NEXT TIME I CATCH YOU LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMAN, BARTHOLOMEW MELANIE ALLEN, I SWEAR...


Happy birthday, Heat Wave! I hope you got a better costume as a birthday gift.


from Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe (1985 series) #10 (DC, December 1985); pencils by Carmine Infantino; inks by Joe Giella; colors by Anthony Tollin, Len Wein, and Tatjana Wood

Play us off, Glenn Frey! One, two, three, four, LET'S ROCK!


For cryin'... YOU HAD ONE JOB, FREY.

No comments: