Bully Says: Comics Oughta Be Fun!

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Previews for Bulls (November 5, 2014)

In which a little stuffed bull looks at the comic shelves from the bottom up ('coz I'm very, very small) and tells you about comics, books, merch and dust-gatherers on sales tomorrow, Wednesday, November 5. So before you heads off to blow up Parliament just because you have a cool mask that came with your V for Vendetta trade, go buy some fine comics! Or maybe some of these.

GRAYSON #4
He's running through an episode of Time Tunnell!

He's running through an episode of Time Tunnell!

Here's a random thought: why is Dick Grayson called Agent #37 in this series...and not Agent #38?

Also, whoa, is that the most psychedelic and vertigo-inducing comic book cover you'll see this week?...

GREEN LANTERN #36
Do not look at comic book cover while operating heavy machinery.

Do not look at comic book cover while operating heavy machinery.

...OH WELL PLAYED DC.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITED #6
Animal Man says RRRRRRRRRARRRRRRRRRRGHHH!

Speaking of those Lego covers (and good job being second to the market with Lego variant covers, DC), why is it that the comic features a Stargirl who wears a uniform that completely covers her body...

Her stomach is a flat as a brick!

...but the Lego one is the Pre-New-52 "belly shirt" Stargirl?

PEANUTS TRADITIONS GREAT PUMPKIN PATCH FIGURE
Charlie Brown, rock, not pictured.

On sale November 5. Just in time for Halloween.

JOHN CARTER WARLORD #1 BLANK VARIANT
It says John Carter but it's published by Dynamite, so you KNOW it's just gonna be Dejah Thoris sprawled all over the cover again.

It says John Carter but it's published by Dynamite, so you KNOW it's just gonna be Dejah Thoris sprawled all over the cover again.

At last, a comic book cover that adequately expresses Disney's commitment to the John Carter license!

EARTH 2: WORLDS' END #5
He was born to fight pigs.

WHEN THREE STOOGES HORSEPLAY GOES TOO FAR

ROCKET RACCOON #5
Also, we NEED a Rocket/Tank Girl team-up, as Shelly the Otter has suggested!

Please please please someone publish a big fat hardcover of Skottie Young's variant comic book covers. The phrase "printing money" comes to mind.

BETTY & VERONICA #273 ART BALTAZAR VARIANT COVER
Why are they walking on The Game of Life?

Why are they walking on The Game of Life?

Ditto Art Baltazar.

DEADPOOL DELUXE FIBER-FILLED COSTUME
I'm pretty sure Deadpool would be the first one to point out that that's not ALL fiber-filled.

I'm pretty sure Deadpool would be the first one to point out that that's not ALL fiber-filled.

On sale November 5. Just in time for Halloween.

COMICS CODE AUTHORITY MUG
At least with the Code, there can be no bullet holes to let your coffee drain out.

At least with the Code, there can be no bullet holes to let your coffee drain out.

For everyone who enjoys their coffee watered down, tepid, and full of zuvembies!

MARVEL CHESS FIGURE COLLECTION: TASKMASTER BLACK PAWN
'T' is for 'Throwing Disc!'

I'm of the firm belief that all the Marvel Chess Figures should move in accordance to the character's powers. Which means the Taskmaster figure can move any way he wants, as long as another piece has moved that way first.

DC COMICS ESSENTIALS: BATMAN YEAR ONE SPECIAL #1
Why is Batman so frightened of that white box?

Why is Batman so frightened of that white box?

DC has finally figured out how to pay Frank Miller tinier royalties.

THE WALKING DEAD JAWLESS WALKER MASK AND WALKER CHEST
'Not to be worn for job interviews.'

On sale November 5. Just in time for Halloween.

GARFIELD #31
Wait, where's the toast and jellybeans?

Everyone knows Garfield doesn't like Mondays, but here at last is concrete and canonical proof that Garfield likes the fourth Thursday in November.

DOCTOR WHO: REVENGE OF SWARM AUDIO CD
Wait, what's an Audio CD DVD? Are the pictures in my mind or NOT?!?

Wait, what's an Audio CD DVD? Are the pictures in my mind or NOT?!?

I would pay folding money to see The Doctor fight A NAZI MADE OF BEES.

FAIREST #31
[INSERT YOUR OWN GIANT PUMPKIN JOKE HERE]

You know, I'm still kind of sad that DC has completely severed the possibility of any crossovers between the DC Universe and the Vertigo Universe.

The heck with the comic, I'm wondering where I can buy one of those light-up gardener hats.

The heck with the comic, I'm wondering where I can buy one of those light-up gardener hats.

Like that Harley Quinn Annual, this comic book is scratch and sniff, but only for other dogs.

Hey, it's Krypto!

HALLOWEEN II BUTCHER KNIFE PROP REPLICA
Because nothing goes better with walking through the dark amongst small children and restricted vision than A KNIFE.

Because nothing goes better with walking through the dark amongst small children and restricted vision than A KNIFE.

On sale November 5. Just in time for...now wait just one minute why would anyone buy a replica generic-looking knife? Here, let me save you some money.

MICHAEL JACKSON SMOOTH CRIMINAL FIGURE
Please begin the hate mail now!

Please do not ruin my joke by pointing out that this is clearly just an error in matching an image and the description, but
THAT'S NOT A TOY OF MICHAEL JACKSON THAT'S A TOY FOR MICHAEL JACKSON.

'The extra 'E' is for 'EWWW, I got glue all over everything!'

'The extra 'E' is for 'EWWW, I got glue all over everything!'

And finally, please hire me to be your proofreader, Diamond Previews.

2 comments:

Jon Jermey said...: Meanwhile, back at the Lego factory: "Hans, they've introduced ANOTHER Supergirl costume!"
Hans, devastated: "Jeg knepper din mor!" Indicates a crate of Lego figures -- "Put these with the others."
Pan back on a warehouse full of crates labelled "Supergirl, costume 3217", "Supergirl, costume 3218"...; 11/05/2014 3:47 PM
Blam said...: // For everyone who enjoys their coffee watered down, tepid, and full of zuvembies! //

Ha!

Re that Rocket Raccoon solicitation: ?; 11/05/2014 11:32 PM