And starring the Solid Gold Dancers!

There's a point in a caper or heist film where it's time to "get the old gang back together": where the main character go around to find their old comrades and convince them to leave their retired lifestyles to "pull just one last job." You see it in The Sting, and Ocean's Eleven and Ocean's Thirteen (say, why did they completely skip doing an Ocean's Twelve?), and in Going in Style and Who's Minding the Mint?...but have you ever seen this scenario done with robots? Well, there was that Star Trek movie where Picard got all his old crew back together to heist a shipment of gold-pressed latinum from the Ferengi and he had to convince Data to get abroad with the plan...oh, wait, that wasn't a Star Trek movie, that was my fan fiction.

But yes: I can think of a version that just involves robots. And it's in comic books. The Brave and the Bold #103, to be precise:


Panels from The Brave and the Bold #103 (September-October 1972), script by Bob Haney, pencils by Bob Brown, inks by Frank McLaughlin

Before we get started: yup, it's by Bob Haney. So you know it's gonna be wacky. Awesome, but wacky.

So Gold and Mercury, questioning their human nonhuman rights as artificial beings, are drawn into a cult of Robot's Lib, which, we see later, involves hundreds of robots around the world protesting for equal rights. Which does not even make co-star Batman blink even once. Yep, Batman is running around with robots tracking robots and fighting robots and somewhere on the other side of the world, Ra's al Ghul is putting his head in his hands in dismay. Talia couldn't have fallen for the leader of Kobra or that nice Luthor boy, no, she had to fall in love with a guy who teams up with robots.

So, Gold and Mercury (the only metal that is liquid at room temperature), hit the road, and Haney spares us several pages of them driving from motel to motel across the US, hitting greasy spoon diners and taking in the occasional robotic roadside attraction. Although I'd totally read that comic book. Nope, the story cuts right to the chase and shows us how the Metal Men reassemble once again. What have they been up to? Well, Iron has been working in a junkyard:




Lead could have gotten a lucrative job throwing himself between Superman and Kryptonite, but instead he's mixing volatile radioactive chemicals at a local Arby's, making their patented "Horsey Sauce." It's the U-238 that gives it that extra kick!




Mercury guilts Tin into leaving his happy suburban family life and his wife, the aptly (un)named "Nameless." Sure, everybody talks about how much a jerk Cyclops was when he left his wife, but at least she had a name. Do you think Nameless cam back later as the evil Robot Goblin Queen? I like to think so.




And of course, Platinum (aka Tina), is...




...a go-go dancer in a nightclub. What's more, she's dancing naked. This is the point where all little stuffed bulls should avert their black button eyes. Say, did Iron just do the patented break a guy's neck by flicking your finger move?

Anyway, the old gang is back together and better than ever! Except for Gallium, but none of them ever liked him anyway.




You know, there is one benefit to a robot go-go dancer: she never gets tired and she never has to take breaks.




You're probably wondering just like I was: who the Sam Scratch goes to a club where a robot is sexy-dancing?!?



And I hope that answers your question.