Professor X: He's Smarter Than You!

Professor Charles Xavier sure knows a heck of a lot about mutants, superheroes and villains, and the whole dadburn Marvel Universe, doesn't he?






Wow, he knows everything! (I bet he even knows what color of underwear Psylocke is wearing!*) Where did he get this amazing knowledge which accounts for his own personal fortune through many weeks of suspicious wins on Hollywood Squares? Could it be because...Charles Xavier can read minds? No! No, of course not! Whatever gave you that idea?



No! I assure you: it's not because of his special but scary miiiiiiind powwwwwwerrsssssss (ahhhwwooooo!).

(Full disclosure sidebar: Professor X often uses his gift recklessly. And so do the others.)

But that's not why he knows everything. (Also, he did not consume Layla Miller and gain her power.) No, in fact you'll be heartened to know that Xavier got his special knowledge about Earth-616 the same way you and I did...

...He's a fanboy.

That's right! Charles Xavier reads The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. Why wouldn't he? And he is telling you with his mighty mutant mind that you should too. After all, he gets a kickback from his good pal Stan Lee with every copy sold!



So don't flee, back Lee! By buying The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe today!



Just tell 'em the bald guy sent you!



*None.