What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Monty Python put it like this...



And Janet Miss Jackson put it like this:



But in the world of comics, when we're asking leading questions like that, we usually put it this way:


Panels from Green Lantern/Green Arrow (April 1970), script by Denny O'Neil, pencils and inks by Neal Adams, letters by John Costanza

Look, I hear what you're saying, man, but I think saving the earth from complete extinction events dozens and dozens of times has helped everyone. Even Oprah.

Luckily, in the next panel, Bill Cosby comes in and puts his hands on on each of their shoulders and says "You got to stop with the green and the ring and alien guys who are doin' that thing with the red fire comin' out of their mouths and they're all blarghh with the blood and the gore and the spitting thing, man!" And then they all hold hands sing "C'mon people now, smile on your brother, ev'rybody get together, try and love one another right now..." Then they all have Jell-O™ Pudding Pops, and Speedy never even needs to take drugs, because it's a hap-hap happy happy world! Racial tension solved.

Say, how do they handle that same question a year later over at Marvel?


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #96 (May 1971), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita, letters by Artie Simek

In between Mary Jane's nudge-nudge wink-wink sex jokes, Norman Osborn got an idea. An awful idea. The Goblin got a wonderful, awful idea! Granted, it took him the rest of the century to put it into effect, and involved the deaths of thousands, a civil war, a Skrull invasion, and making a bunch of murderers into the Avengers, but hey! He finally took a stand to do something about society's ills, and you've got to hand it to him. On the other hand, have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?



D'oh! Nevermind.

Naw, actually, the only thing that Norman was inspired to do after that speech was to toss a pumpkin bomb down Randy Robertson's chimney. It wasn't a race thing...it was just a do not disrespect the 'Born thing.

No, to get to the proper response to that question we have to skip ahead a few years and look in on that same question being challenged to The Mighty Thor:


Panels from Thor #363 (January 1986), script, pencils and inks by Walt Simonson, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by John Workman

Boo-yah! Now that's an answer to a leading question! When asked what you have done for society, please feel free to crib generously from the words of Messrs. Thor and Simonson. Remember, however, that for maximum effectiveness, allow the living spirit of Death to claw at your face until your normally cheerful grin is covered with festering, disfigured wounds. Hey, we all have to make sacrifices for our art, right?

And just what have you learned from all this, Mr. Green Lantern?


Panels from Green Lantern v.3 #29 (Late September 1992), script by Gerard Jones, pencils by M. D. Bright, inks by Romeo Tanghal, colors by Anthony Tollin, letters by Albert De Guzman

So, I think around the superheroes, it's best to not ask them what they've done for you lately. I asked them once, but I think I got away with it.