"How do you sleep at night?" "On a bed made of Magic Snakes.”

Rule Number One of Madison Avenue: never give the client their money back. Rule Number Two: Sell to the consumer the way the consumer expects to be sold. That is, put your advertising money where and how your customers are. Don't advertise, say, Sex and the City DVDs on Spike, or Christian music CDs during Torchwood. Better to put those ads where you get the most bang for the buck, which is why you can watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars and see ads for sugary, sweet, yummy Ahsoka-Os Cereal, the only Star Wars cereal with a backhand grip, and a free belly shirt in every box.

The advertisers in comic books of yesteryear had this down to a science. If you wanna sell sea monkeys and body-building kits, if you need to advertise Daisy Air Rifles and crappy Atari 5200 videogames, there's no better place than buying a four-color ad in your upcoming issue of Power Man and Iron Fist or Batman and the Outsiders. And for maximum effect, why not have your crack team of ad managers create a campaign of advertisements that actually are in comic book format? Hokey smokes, McMahon and Tate, I think we're onto something here!:


Ad for International Correspondence Schools from [Uncanny] X-Men #47, September 1968
Click on any ad to super-economy-size it



Ad for GI Joe's Major Mike Power from [Uncanny] X-Men #94, August 1975



Ad for Acclaim's Remote Controller for Nintendo from an early 1990s issue of Incredible Hulk (circa #360?)



Ad for Magic Snake Puzzles from Fantastic Four #251, February 1983


Of course, none of them will become the classics that the Superhero Hostess Snack Cake ads are, but that's a might high bar to hit, because remember, you get a big delight in every bite of Hostess Fruit Pies, Cupcakes, and Twinkies. Isn't that right, Doctor Strange?