Thursday, October 30, 2008

"I don't think the real Batman wears a rubber mask with his symbol on it." "He would on Halloween!"

Time is ticking away...do you have your Halloween costume yet? If not, don't panic: just set your time machine for the Marvel Comics of the early 1980s and order yourself up a handy cheap rubber mask of your favorite Marvel (and DC) characters:

Spider-Man mask


Golly, $3.99? As Alfred E. Newman would say, "Cheap!" (Buy all four and save a whole buck...whoop-de-doo!) But what's with that Red Skull mask? Were kids really clamoring for this character molded in stinky, malleable thin rubber? "Hey Mom, can I dress up as a Nazi for Halloween this year?" "No, Mikey...you can be a hobo or a ghost again if you like." "Aw, Mom!"

And I like that "Please list alternate selection." Which means all they had to do was produce several thousand Spidey masks, since those seem the simplest mold. "Sorry, kid, you can't be a former bellboy turned Hitler's superhuman henchman this year...how about the guy who accidentally killed his girlfriend when she was plummeting off a bridge, huh?"

If it's cold outside, why not spring the extra two bones for the Spider-Man Ski Mask ("Look just like Spidey...except Spidey doesn't have a mouth, does he? Oh well!"):

Spider-Man mask


With the Spider-Man Ski Mask, every Halloween is a dog day afternoon!

Well, I'm off to get into my Hulk mask and green body paint for tomorrow's candy gatherin' festivities. Whatever you go as, play it safe and don't eat any suspicious candy...

...send it to me!

3 comments:

bitterandrew said...

A more cynical soul might suspect that someone bought a crate of generic skull masks and a couple cans of red spraypaint...

Unknown said...

Dear Spider-Man,. How do you type with organic web-spinners on your hands? Crapfully yours, etc etc

Sea-of-Green said...

Ha! That Batman mask made an appearance in an episode of Batman: The Animated Series. If I remember correctly, The Creeper found it while looking through a thrift store. ;-)