Yikes, that's bad luck for a first mission. Well, with the Blackbird out of service, maybe they'll have better luck on a commercial airliner...whoops!
In the words of Bullwinkle: "Looks like I need a new hat!" Or maybe, just maybe, a little more runway. Try backing that plane up to get a little more maneuvering room, X-Men! I'm sure that will solve all the...look out!
Well, how about a space shuttle, X-Men? As the Rocket Man himself once sang, it's lonely out in space, but at least there are fewer things to crash into when you're...uh oh!
Okay, let's face it: crashing into a space station? It could happen to anybody. Why, Starbuck used to do it on a weekly basis back in the 1970s. Maybe it would just be easier if the X-Men brought that shuttle in for a nice, soft, safe water landing...whoa, look out!
Click image to 'blow up'
Okay, okay, we get the hint: you don't let Deanna Troi steer the Enterprise, and you don't let the X-Men pilot a flying machine. So, let's take them on board a nice, safe watercraft, shall we? There's no chance of danger aboard a modern, safety-tested hovercraft, surely. Why, anyone could...aieeeeeee!
This one blows up real good too if'n ya click it!
For over two galactic millennium the Sh'iar personal aircruiser has been rated the safest flying craft in known space. So safe they can be flown by a Skrull in the shape of Lindsay Lohan, this paragon of cosmic security cannot be crashed-landed, wrecked or smashed up. So of course it was a good bet when Lilandra let the X-Men borrow hers. After all, what could happen in the safest space cruiser in the universe?
Okay, okay. I get the picture. Maybe it would be safest if you just left the thing parked in the X-Garage and...
Still, practice makes perfect. Ease the Blackbird in for a soft, restful landing...ah, yes, that's it. See? No crash, no explosions...no runway!
Upon careful examination of the aptly named "Black Box," however, we've finally discovered the reason for so many X-Crashes: the pesky kid who sits in the back seat and riles up the driver. "Are we there yet, bub? Are we there yet, bub?" Why, wouldn't you crash a plane to get him to shut the heck up? I know I would:
Click image to...aw, you know the drill.
So, with most X-outings ending in a bang and not a whimper, is it any wonder that Kurt Wagner has the final, Deustch-accented word?:
The X-Men. Heckuva nice group of genetically-challenged people. But don't give 'em your car keys.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQenrY-T9_-EUVG2XBTW-ZiSnvw_V3JFU-8tiFlhrdgKCUBaE56ekbiILucymY9gA-xa4zdGy_z1Njojw78Z-YnlUiN4PIRRurK7GzqoEg3B-PmXl2RJaS1ZaVKVCEHP-m-WVr2xjqailLu1jlzylysiBGc3sVXLXNMFDzAURyrHhKBfcqyO4/s1600/button-libertybellmarch.jpg" "It's...")
7 comments:
First, did you hear that Jane Weidlin is going to be at the Eisners this year?
Second, regarding Nightcrawler's thought in that last panel, Douglas Adams had this to say in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy":
"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was 'Oh no, not again'. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now."
Gosh, the X-people DO seem to blow up aircraft on a regular basis! You would think, considering the fact that quite a few of them can't fly under their own power, that they would be issued rocket packs or something, the way that people on a boat have to wear floatation devices.
You would also think that perhaps someone OTHER than Cyclops would learn how to fly. That boy has one terrible record in aviation safety. And I thought that Hal Jordan blew up planes!
SPKADAMM is now my favorite sound!
This is such a trend that one of the first things Grant Morrison did on New X-Men was have Cyclops and Wolverine crash land the Blackbird, and then Wolverine make sarcastic comments about how the Professor gets the money to replace the darned things.
And to add insult to injury, Banshee was killed by flying into the Blackbird while it was being controlled by Vulcan. The X-Men: Do Not Give Them A Plane.
jeez, they're worse drivers than Officer Mihoshi.
LOL! Oh, the memories! Yes, the X-men blowing up planes was definitely a running gag during the Cockrum-Byrne-Cockrum days. I don't think it's a coincidence that Nightcrawler eventually became the pilot and chief mechanic of the Blackbird -- probably because he was the most vocal about the plane always blowing up, and wanted to keep the other X-men FROM blowing it up. ;-)
Of course, once they couldn't blow up the plane anymore, they started trashing the mansion on a regular basis. X-people are just the Marvel Universe equivalent of a drunken rockstar wrecking his hotel room. ;-)
Add to it that in Marvel years they've aged... how much? Four? Five years since they got started? This could mean that they crashed their planes on a weekly basis or even daily. It would be interesting to check all of the crashes and do the math. Don't ask me to, though, I'm as good with Math as Cyclops is driving a Blackbird.
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