Batman smells
Robin laid an egg...
Whoops! Sorry, you caught me Christmas caroling here. What's that? Caroling instead of brawling on Friday night? It's true! While most weeks of the year, Friday nights are devoted to Bahlactus's Friday Night Fights, every once in a while the Grand Funkster of Worlds takes a short break from overseeing the week-ending cosmic battles and brawls. He's on hiatus now, visiting Ma B. in the Black Galaxy for the Galactic Solstice Holiday, so no fighting tonight.
And that's appropriate, 'coz we're getting' on close to Christmas. You don't wanna be fighting only a few days before Christmas, no sirree, lemme tell you. Not only because you may be being watched by the big guy in red from his headquarters at the North Pole, but because, hey, it's the time of Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards All. Despite what Chris Sims would tell you, 'tis not the season for punching people in the face. (Tune in on January 4 for that.) Why, once in a while even the toughest of fighters knows it's time to unclench the fists and toast the season instead of toasting your enemies. F'r instance, witness the classic story from Batman #219 entitled "The Silent Night of the Batman"the quintessential not-fighting story:
from "The Silent Night of the Batman" in Batman #219 (DC, February 1970, reprinted in Christmas with the Superheroes #1, 1988), written by Mike Friedrich, art by Neal Adams and Dick Giordano, coloring by Jerry Serpe
What's that sound up on the rooftop? It's not the hooves of eight tiny reindeer, but the bat-treaded boots of the Dark Knight, arriving in the twinkling of an eye following Commissioner Gordon's Bat-Signal summons. But the call is not to battle the Joker or stop the Riddler: Gordon has something all together much more peaceful in mind for this Gotham City Christmas Eve night:
Gordon's brought Batman to the police headquarters to party! Well, more accurately, to join the boys in blue in an enthusiastic and heart-felt Christmas caroling session. Chalk this up on the toteboard of "things you never see Batman do anymore."
Has Commissioner Gordon been dipping in too much of the eggnog? Well, possibly. Can crime actually stop on a Christmas Eve in Gotham City? How many dark deeds will be committed while the Batman joins the choir?
Well, what do you know!...
Again and again in pantomime sequences crimes begin to play out across the city...
Only to be resolved or put right by the spirit of the Batman:
Even a despairing and potentially tragic Christmas heartbreak is paused by the Batman's spirit, in this beautiful and silent Neal Adams page...
Until at last morning dawns, with not one single crime committed and reported in the city of Gotham:
It's the sort of tale that probably couldn't be told today with the modern, ultra-realistic, gritty and never-shaken Batman, but it still holds up in my book as one of the finest Batman short stories ever. If a tortured and driven Batman can experience Christmas peace for one night, then there is hope for us all.
We may not have a Batman in our cities to help protect the innocent and weak, to strike fear in the hearts of the evil, cowardly, and superstitious, but we do have the spirit of humanity in our hearts to stand against the darkness. In this holiday season, like Bruce Wayne, remember the lesson of "The Silent Night of the Batman" and keep the Spirit of Christmas, and joy and understanding all year long. Tonight is not a night for fighting. Merry Christmas...and peace on Earth, good will to all.
1 comment:
This story seems similar to a much later 'Detective Comics' story by Harlan Ellison from the early '80s, wherein Bats keeps trying to rescue people who've got their situations well in hand, and winds up with the night off.
I get the feeling there are many more 'untold' stories of Batman of this nature -- "The Batmobile's Amazing 100,000 Mile Service And Fluid Check," "Monitoring The Mold Growth In The Batcave," "Batman Tears Out The Sheet-Rock In The Batcave," "Batman Learns To Apply Plaster And Lathe," "Batman's Top-Secret Dump For His Construction Waste."
Alfred can't possibly do all the service work for Stately Wayne Manor (or the Wayne Foundation), and with his need for secrecy, Batman has to help out his butler with what must be a staggering maintenance workload.
"Gotham Central" gave us the impression that Gotham was a bloody mess 24/7/52; but seriously, Batman would have to monitor the lulls in criminal activity so he could carve out the time to manage the wear and tear on his many toys. Conversely, the criminal element would have to deploy a detail of goons to keep an eye on the Batmobile's condition, no doubt maintaining a grapevine like this: "Cowardly and superstitious though I am, I know the signs of worn piston rings when I see 'em -- blue smoke and gummy black deposits on the Batmobile's Bat-Tailpipe!" "I hear what you're sayin'! Let's commit crimes by automobile where the Batplane, Batcopter, and Batboat can't get to us!"
Heaven only knows why I think about these things, but thank you for another thought-provoking post, Bully.
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