Blast from the past: Set your phasers on fun! (8/14/02)

Hi hi hi everybody! In additiona to talkin' 'bout fun comics, one of the things I want to on my blog is let you re-read the wonderful adventures I made before I had a blog! So every once in a while I will be presenting a special feature of Comics Oughta Be Fun entitled:

BLAST FROM THE PAST!

...in which I will re-present some of my old website entries for an all new, blog-savvy audience. This first one is from August, 2002, when I had just returned from Las Vegas, Nevada. Take it away, Bully of the past!:

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Hi hi hi everyone! As you all know (if you have been paying attention to this webpage, and if not, shame on you!), I was supposed to go to Steven Spielberg's Lego™ Filmmaking Fantasy Camp this summer. I got on the wrong bus, however, and I wound up in Las Vegas! It was real pretty and everything. I liked all the flashing lights, and there were many cute showgirls and Elvis impersonators who were very sweet to me. I don't know why people call it "Sin City," though. It was pretty fun!

Through a series of bizarre and unusual coincidences, the exact sequence of which remain mysterious to me even today (instead I will let Mr. Steven Spielberg explain it all here), I wound up at the Las Vegas Hilton and spent the summer working at "Star Trek: The Experience"!



It was lots of fun! I started out be being a bartender in Quark's Bar, serving Romulan ale to all the tourists. They all thought I was very cute! The Klingons were even nice to me, even though I looked something like a tribble. But watch out for those Ferengi! They are not good tippers. But if you get a chance to serve Mr. Wayne Newton, by all means, do so! I highly recommend it! He is a very pleasant guy and an excellent tipper. No wonder they call him "Mr. Las Vegas."



Here are some of other jobs I got to do while working at "Star Trek: The Experience":

• Official Tribble-feeder. (Actually, you're not supposed to feed them! I sure found that out the hard way! By the way, tribbles especially love chicken salad sandwiches!)
• Klingon bat'leth polisher. That's hard work!
• Trill spot-counter. Trills sure have lots of spots! I kept losing count.
• Assistant stylist, Mr. Shatner's Toupee.
• Fetched tea (Earl Grey, hot) for Captain Picard.
• Negotiated groundbreaking treaty with Romulans: Romulans can come over Sunday afternoons to play Nintendo, but Federation can't go over to the Romulans's house after school until they finish their homework.
• Vulcan-ear sharpener.
• Reblocking Whoopi Goldberg's big hats.
• Making certain nobody put out their cigarette in the urn of Mr. Roddenberry's ashes.
• Telling everyone not to miss Star Trek: Nemesis, coming this fall to a theatre near you! Whee!
• Escorting fans dressed as Wookiees and Jango Fett to the 'out' door.
• Smoothing out any wrinkles in Miss Jeri Ryan's costume. That was fun!
• Romulan ale taste-tester. Hic!
• Piloted U.S.S. Defiant in all-out victorious battle against the combined forces of the Borg and the Dominion. (Captain Sisko gave me a cookie afterwards!)

Eventually John found me there (I told you there were a lot of coincidences happening this summer! We had a fun few days seeing all the sights before I returned home. He got to meet all my new friends!



We hung out with Captain Kirk and Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy!


And then we went travelling with the crew of the first Enterprise! (Captain Archer told me to stop calling him "Dr. Beckett", though!)


Finally Captain Picard let us sit on the bridge of the Enterprise-D! (John is wearing his Scotty uniform! He needs more power, Captain!)


It was all so much fun! But I was happy to go home, even though I will miss all my new Vulcan and Klingon and Trill and Borg pals. They were so grateful for my help all this summer at "Star Trek: The Experience" that they let me take home my favorite tribble. His name is Pickles. Or maybe Pickles is a she. (I can't tell!)

Oh well! Live long and prosper, everyone!