R: Marvel Tales #250 (June 1991), reprinting MTU #100, art by Marshall Rogers
(Click picture to double-size anniversary-size)
Dear Pepper,J. Foster, you poor dope. Snap out of it! This hunky love-object doctor of yours is obviously so attractive to gorgeous Amazon women that he couldn't beat them away with a wooden cane, even if he had one! So it's time for you to use all the feminine wiles and pepperosity at your command. Why, I myself was in a similar situation recently when my boss, Mister "S," hired a curvy new assistant who vamped her way across the office trying to get into his pants and his heart. Uh-uh, you Russian floozy! Only one who gets to touch Mr. "S"'s heart is yours pepper-truly.
I'm desperately in love with my handsome bossa prestigious New York doctorbut he never seems to have eyes for me aside from business! It's always "Nurse Foster, bring me those files," or "Nurse Foster, please bring in the next patient," or "Nurse Foster, isn't that the Mighty Thor over there?" I try to corner him in the off hours to chat with him, but he closes his door, plays his recording of a thunderstorm, and when I go in to see him, the window is open and he's gone! Worse yet, the only time he perks up around a woman is the times when this six-foot tall Danish or Swedish brunette drops by to visit him, wearing this god-awful white miniskirt dress with a purple cape and (get this) carrying a sword! Then he's all "come in, my dear," and "how lovely to see you again." How do I fix it so that Scandanavian buttinski goes back to her wooden shoes and her tulips, leaving the handsome
Donald Bldoctor I referred to earlier all to myself?