Yikes, that's bad luck for a first mission. Well, with the Blackbird out of service, maybe they'll have better luck on a commercial airliner...whoops!
In the words of Bullwinkle: "Looks like I need a new hat!" Or maybe, just maybe, a little more runway. Try backing that plane up to get a little more maneuvering room, X-Men! I'm sure that will solve all the...look out!
Well, how about a space shuttle, X-Men? As the Rocket Man himself once sang, it's lonely out in space, but at least there are fewer things to crash into when you're...uh oh!
Okay, let's face it: crashing into a space station? It could happen to anybody. Why, Starbuck used to do it on a weekly basis back in the 1970s. Maybe it would just be easier if the X-Men brought that shuttle in for a nice, soft, safe water landing...whoa, look out!
Click image to 'blow up'
Okay, okay, we get the hint: you don't let Deanna Troi steer the Enterprise, and you don't let the X-Men pilot a flying machine. So, let's take them on board a nice, safe watercraft, shall we? There's no chance of danger aboard a modern, safety-tested hovercraft, surely. Why, anyone could...aieeeeeee!
This one blows up real good too if'n ya click it!
For over two galactic millennium the Sh'iar personal aircruiser has been rated the safest flying craft in known space. So safe they can be flown by a Skrull in the shape of Lindsay Lohan, this paragon of cosmic security cannot be crashed-landed, wrecked or smashed up. So of course it was a good bet when Lilandra let the X-Men borrow hers. After all, what could happen in the safest space cruiser in the universe?
Okay, okay. I get the picture. Maybe it would be safest if you just left the thing parked in the X-Garage and...
Still, practice makes perfect. Ease the Blackbird in for a soft, restful landing...ah, yes, that's it. See? No crash, no explosions...no runway!
Upon careful examination of the aptly named "Black Box," however, we've finally discovered the reason for so many X-Crashes: the pesky kid who sits in the back seat and riles up the driver. "Are we there yet, bub? Are we there yet, bub?" Why, wouldn't you crash a plane to get him to shut the heck up? I know I would:
Click image to...aw, you know the drill.
So, with most X-outings ending in a bang and not a whimper, is it any wonder that Kurt Wagner has the final, Deustch-accented word?:
The X-Men. Heckuva nice group of genetically-challenged people. But don't give 'em your car keys.