All panels are from Fantastic Four #332 (November 1989), written by "John Harkness" (Steve Englehart); art by RIch Buckler, Romeo Tanghal, and George Roussos; letters by Bill Oakley
Girl fight tonight!
Girl fight tonight!
Look, there she is
I'm going to kick her blonde butt
Hey girl, I wanna talk to you
I've seen the way that you check him out
When you think I'm not around
Mentally undressin' him
Whoa-oh, tryin' to shut me down
Well, you know last night he told me
All those nasty things that you said
You asked him if he gets lonely
Now you're asking to be dead!
Girl fight tonight!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Revenge is gonna be so sweet
Girl fight tonight!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Your lips are gonna kiss the street
You only want him 'cause I want him
Back off, girl, or else
Girl fight tonight!
I hate the way that your sweater fits (tight)
I hate your baby talk
I can read your dirty mind
I watch you watch him walk
When you told him he looked like Rob Lowe
Well, that was the last straw
So now I have to tell him
That you wear a padded bra!
Girl fight tonight!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Ooh, we're gonna have some fun
Girl fight tonight!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Blood and mascara will run
We'll see how long your tan lines last
When you're in a body cast
Girl fight tonight!
All in love is fair
She'll rip out your hair
Now I'm declaring war
You know she's killed before
'Cause I'm a lover and a fighter...bitch!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Revenge is gonna taste so sweet
Girl fight tonight!
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Your lips are gonna kiss the street
You only want him 'cause I want him
Back off, girl, or else
Girl fight tonight!
Then, Franklin runs away crying to Reed, who rushes in and breaks up the big bad catfight. No kiddin'.
Oh, and did you notice the sound effect in the panel where Crystal came back in the window?
Best...sound effect...ever.
Now fire this up and read it again!:
"Girl Fight Tonight!" by Julie Brown (1987)
(Bahlactus would never hit a girl.)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQenrY-T9_-EUVG2XBTW-ZiSnvw_V3JFU-8tiFlhrdgKCUBaE56ekbiILucymY9gA-xa4zdGy_z1Njojw78Z-YnlUiN4PIRRurK7GzqoEg3B-PmXl2RJaS1ZaVKVCEHP-m-WVr2xjqailLu1jlzylysiBGc3sVXLXNMFDzAURyrHhKBfcqyO4/s1600/button-libertybellmarch.jpg" "It's...")
9 comments:
Is it allowed for FNF if it's a hoax, dream, or imaginary story?
Cause this totally is.
imaginary story
Aren't they all?
'Fraid I was a bit distracted from the overall greatness of this by Crystal's crazy hairband. From the back, she's a ringer for Cousin Itt that time he had to get specks.
Can a cranial accessory be more...unsettling?
Sorry Bully, but this comic is obviously too mature for little, stuffed bull. I'll have to confiscate it for your own good...
**Can a cranial accessory be more...unsettling?**
I was just about to ask. I do appreciate the greatness that is Jack Kirby and all, but there were times when you kind of had to wonder just how much contact he had with actual, y'know, women and stuff.
I was also wondering just how much moisture there would have to be in even a decent-sized room to generate what looks like a mini-tsunami? 'Cause the notion of the FF with that much of a mold problem is just weird.
I've prob'bly been looking at it wrong for all these years, because I always thought that Crystal's hair just had a weird-ass design in it.
Instead, it becomes one of the 5,000 Hats of Jack Kirby, doesn't it?
Heh. I've had that album on vinyl for years, but have never been able to listen to it. I just thought Julie Brown was cute. Don't judge me.
Great fight, even if it's a reminder why I love Fantastic Four yet don't buy it for years at a time. (See also: DeFalco, Claremont, Loeb, that Babylon 5 guy...)
Dude, this is the only time I've ever seen Crystal throw down with the fullest extent of her powers. You always hear about how she has power over the "four elements" but you never get to see her do much of anything but be tragically lovestruck and hang around with Black Bolt and the gang. You go, Crystal!
LOVE it! Now how about a Ben Grimm/Alicia Masters mash-up with "I Like 'Em Big and Stupid!"
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