Saturday, May 07, 2016

Psylocke Psaturday: And yet, we're still not out of The X-Tinction Agenda

Psreviously, on Psylocke Psaturday...


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #271 (December 1990), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski and L. Lois Buhalis

...Cameron Hodge, a.k.a. X-Factor's greatest villain (snicker), had just captured Wolverine and out purple-haired point of this pseries of psosts, Psylocke! Disclaimer: As Miss Olivia Munn is out ill from our theatre tonight, the role of Psylocke will be played by Emma Stone.

In fact, as crossover ish X-Factor #61 tells us, a whole lotta mutants have been trapped like Mars flies in a klein bottle. Also, they've been, completely violating the Geneva Convention, cruelly imprisoned without a background. This human rights transgression later inspired the United Nations to adopt worldwide the controversial Colletta Accords.


Panel from X-Factor (1986 series) #61 (December 1990), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove with John Caponigro, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Mike Rockwitz, letters by Joe Rosen

Being caught, imprisoned, and robbed of their powers hardly ever happens to the X-Men, so you're not likely to see this scene at any time in the immediate future.


Panel from X-Men #272 (January 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas and Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski

OH FOR PETE'S SAKE COMIC BOOK

The world is immediately outraged by this news that shakes the nations! Commenting on the subject is a Marvel Comics editor, the world's most verbose man, an Orion lawyer, and Sunspot's dad.


Even this guy, on his way over to Netflix's Daredevil set, has a word or two to say.


Of course, the X-Men are strong and resistant, and not a single X-Man or X-Woman or X-Beast is going to crumple under the terrific pressure of being handcuffed on top of a platform and


OH COME ON NOW BETSY

Oh, it's a trick. Okay, Psylocke, you're forgiven. This time. Ten points from Gryffindor Claremont, however, for not using the obvious Pat Benatar "hit me with your best shot" reference in panels one and two. It was right there staring at you, Chris!


Everybody run
Psylocke's got a gun



More or less "meanwhile", Psylocke's not the only X-Men fleeing. Let's just take a quick glance at Pre-Teen Storm™ (action figure available now from Toy Biz!) make her escape by (snicker) hiding in a laundry basket (hee hee hee) that's being loaded onto a truck for (snicker snicker) Geno-Sheen Custom Laundry! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA oh you were serious Louise Simonson I'm so sorry.


Panels from X-Factor #60 (November 1990), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Joe Rosen

Then (just so you know how this all ends, pretty much), Havoc zaps Cameron Hodge to pieces. Boom! End of villain.


Panels from X-Factor #62 (January 1991), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by "Task Force Z2"

Well, that's taken care of him. Oh wait! He's still here! Zap 'im, Cyclops! Yay! Truly then, this is the end of Cameron Hodge!


OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD he's got more death scenes that the Terminator and the Anti-Moniutor put together!


Zapt him Jean! Zapt him good! HOORAY THUS ENDETH CAMERON HODGE FOREVER


Um...okay, then...FINISH HIM, RAHNE! (tapping fingers impatiently)


And then Rictor buries him under the biggest building collapse until 9/11. Oh, that won't terrify and scar New Yorkers at all, X-Men. GOOD JOB, MUTANTS.


Then, everybody gathers on stage for the traditional obligatory post-apocalyptic battle team portrait. Say 'Claremont,' everybody!


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #273 (February 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Whilce Portacio, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Tom Orzechowski

Next issue: Claremont makes sure we all know each other's names, and Psylocke seems to be the only one not bothered by tentacle porn:


Panels from Uncanny X-Men #274 (March 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Whilce Portacio, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Pat Brosseau

1 comment:

Blam said...

"What are we going to do with all these X-Men?"
"Spin off another title, probably."