Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Countdown to Halloween: Jack Kirby's Monsters! Night Six: The Creature Who Stalked Me

So I said to Mama Bull, "No! I'm not eating my broccoli!" And she said "Well, maybe you should find out what happens when little bulls won't eat their broccoli!" And she gave me this comic book.

Cover of Broccoli Lover's Monthly Tales of Suspense #19 (July 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

My little black button eyes widened as I began to read:

Splash page from "The Green Thing!" in Tales of Suspense #19 (July 1961), plot by Stan Lee (?), script by Larry Lieber (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Ray Holloway (?)

Of course, as in all classic Marvel origins, it begins with a scientist. Doin' something incredibly stupid. In this case injecting a powerful experimental radioactive sciency-type growth serum into a random plant. Except that's no mere random plant, that's an evil plant. (You can tell, because it actually eats giraffes.)

Hey! How many times have we told you: don't tamper in God's domain!!! You know what happens when…oh, like we couldn't all see this coming.

That's right — let's fight the giant plant with a stick. That's like trying to fight a savage tiger by hitting it with another, slightly smaller, savage tiger. Also, when you do that wind-up? Don't make such a long speech. Just gives the plant monster more time to twist his fibers to create a loop or a lasso. See? I told ya!


So what's the scientist's solution? Inject another plant with the serum and watch them fight to the death. Well, sure…what?!?!

The moral of the story? Eat your broccoli until you're blue in the face.

Special Bonus Other-Artist-Monster from the same comic: hey, from co-creator of Iron Man, Don Heck comes this guy: Maaboo!

I only know Maaboo from his sidekick role to Yogi Bear, so it's nice to see him getting the spotlight for once.

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