Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Dumbass Things You Shouldn't Do: My intention here is serious, even tho' I have Tigra in this post

So, this psast Psaturday, in the midpst of a dipscupspsion about Psylocke, I brought you this panel showing Captain America (in his civilian identity as District Attorney Grant Gardner illustrator Steve Rogers), getting so many obsessive love vibes from a fictional version of Marvel writer Ann Nocenti during a job interview that he jumps out of the window. Creeeeeepy, FictionAnn! Stop staring at Steve's butt!


Panels from Avengers v.1 #215 (January 1982), script by Jim Shooter, pencils by Alan Weiss, inks by Dan Green, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Joe Rosen

As I commented at the time: And that's why Ann Nocenti punched Jim Shooter in the face. I'd now like to make it clear that was a joke. (That's a joke, I say, that's a joke, son!) Ann Nocenti would never punch Jim Shooter in the face. (For one thing, she couldn't reach.)

But is this the worst time that Captain America has ever gotten these sort of vibes from someone during an interview? Heck no. (Or else I wouldn't have much of a post tonight.) There's this "classic" moment where Steve, man-hunk that he is, loses out on a job after refusing to date Ms. Irene Clancy.


Page from Captain America Annual #5 (1981), script by David Michelinie, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Dave Simons, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Joe Rosen

Immediately following this scene, Steve rogers hired his good friends Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson, who filed a five million dollar suit against Irene Clancy and Concept Inc. for sexual discrimination and sexual harassment. The company later agreed on an out-of-court 1.5 million dollar settlement, which Steve immediately spent on shield wax. Ms. Irene Clancy was immediately terminated from her position. She now manages a Hardee's in Buffalo, NY.

My point, and I do have one...don't do that.

Don't do this, either:


Panels from Avengers v.1 #215

That guy's perfectly-rectangular briefcase will never be the same again! This falls not only under this blog's usual criteria of Dumbass Things You Shouldn't Do but is also sexual harassment. Even though this is the most crowded bank in Manhattan since October 29, 1929, there simply ain't no excuse for pawing (please excuse the pun) Tigra. Not how she's dressed, not how furry she is. As one, and on behalf of all furry creatures I say "Hands off, buddy!"


It's an inappropriate, illegal, and dumbass thing to do, and not only should it get you arrested, it may just get you railed.


So let's remember this as we move into comic book convention season, and I shouldn't have to tell you this: don't be a dumbass around other people, no matter how they're dressed. Treat them with respect and hands off. Let's have comic book conventions without anyone getting manhandled, catcalled, insulted, badgered, groped, molested, or treated as an object. Okay? Okay.


Panel from Avengers v.1 #214 (December 1981), script by Jim Shooter, pencils by Bob Hall, inks by Dan Green, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Janice Chiang

OH FOR PETE'S SAKE GHOST RIDER

2 comments:

SallyP said...

How can you kiss without lips? Stupid Ghostrider!

Still...you make an excellent point as always, Bully.

Blam said...


District Attorney Grant Gardner

Aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

That's not my only takeaway from this post, which is all (well, kinda) serious 'n' stuff, but it made me chuckle. So did "shield wax".