Saturday, May 04, 2013

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 55 124: You Olsen Live Twice

Yesterday I suggested you come back today for the only super-spy who's more dashing, more debonair, and more DC than James Bond! Here he is, and the "O" in "Double-O" stands for Olsen!

House ad for Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #89 (December 1965); printed in Batman #177 (December 1965)
Ad designed and lettered by Ira Schnapp

You know Jimmy Olsen's theme song by Shirley Bassey, right?:

Jim Olsen!
He's the man
The man with the bright green suit
Where'd you buy a green suuu-it?

Cover of Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #89 (December 1965), pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein, letters by Ira Schnapp

Geez, Jimmy? Why you go an' attack Superman with lasers and fire and laser fire, huh? I guess we'll find out later, because Silver Age comic book covers never lie to us, right?

Man, Jack Kirby could not get over to DC fast enough, could he?

In any case, this story starts the way a Jimmy Olsen story always starts: with Jimmy Olsen biting off more than he can chew. In this case it's seeing the exciting adventures on film of one of the many 007 imitators of the mid-1960s.

Panels from "Olsen's Super-Survival Kit!" in Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #89 (December 1965), script by Otto Binder, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein, letters by Milton Snapinn

Maybe Jimmy and Lucy were even watching Neil Connery, Sean's kid brother, in Operation Double 007!:

But probably not.

And then, just like every adventure of James Betty Olsen, he ruins it by taking it just a bit too far by wanting to imitate the main character in the movie. I guess we're lucky Jimmy has never seen the movie version of The Omen, huh?

Then, Jimmy decides to cosplay as the Eleventh Doctor. Jimmy, bow-ties are definitely not cool, okay? Also: that Silver Age comic book cover totally lied to us!

Also of this is just playacting and all in a usual day in the life of J.O. All fine until a nameless character who will never get his entry in Who's Who in the DC Universe passes away in Jimmy's arms, giving him a cryptic dying clue. Of course, RATHER THAN ALERTING THE POLICE, Jimmy decides to solve the case himself. No wonder Inspector Henderson shot him in every issue of the DC limited series Jimmy Olsen Takes the Law Into His Own Hands #1-12.

Jimmy instantly changes his appearance from a red-haired man in a red and black polka-dotted bow tie and a green suit to a black-haired man with a fake mustache in a red and black polka-dotted bow tie and a green suit. He has such range. Also: he steals from a Mexican man. Jimmy Olsen: fightin' mad at illegal immigration.

Of course, Jimmy is instantly captured by Evil Doctor Luchadore and tossed into an maximum security cell at the MacGyver State Prison. There he meets a beautiful señorita, and instantly escapes via Kool-Aid. Sometimes I doubt Jimmy's "he-man" personality.

Hugo Drax has his Moonraker rocket, Ernst Stavro Blofeld has his deadly dozen of beautiful international maidens, and Emile Largo has his...thunderballs...but Doctor Luchadore has his gigantic working model of the human heart. In such a way he hopes to strike at the heart of world commerce. But thanks to Olsen, Jimmy Olsen...all his efforts will be in vein. You aorta know that.

Suddenly...HI-KEEBA! There alway has to be at least one hi-keeba in a secret agent film, and even Jimmy gets one in. It's kind of cruel when they were bringing in a nice ice cold bowl of water soup and half a SPAM. Then we discover that the missing Professor truly resides in his heart. i don't understand why the Professor didn't smuggle his beautiful daughter in there, really. It's a pretty big heart. In fact, it's a ventricle built for two. (Hey-yo!)

In the adventure's heart-racing action sequence, Jimmy goes heart-racing. He's got his heart rate climbing! Wait, let me reverse that. He's got his heart climbing rate!


Of course, this adventure ends exactly the same way as every other Jimmy Olsen story: with his on-schedule emasculation by Lucy Lane. Oh, that James!

Play us off, Carly Simon!



SallyP said...

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy...when are you going to learn that Lucy is bad bad news?

Chance said...

"This peon taking a siesta won't mind if I borrow his poncho."

""This peon taking a siesta won't mind if I borrow his poncho."


I mean... wow.

Dave said...

Just sayin'.

Bully said...

Those are some great lookin' green suits, Dave!

(That will not stop me from asking"WHERE ON EARTH DO YOU GET A GREEN SUIT?!?")

Blam said...

Wow! You really outdid yourself on this one, Bully. The commentary and the hover-text were aces — heck, the story was pretty funny its own darned self. I ♥ this blog!

Bully said...

Thank you Blam! I definitely appreciate it. I'm not able to do as many full posts these days as I want to, and when I do and they're appreciated, that makes me dance for joy! (doing the happy Bully dance)

Blam said...

You're quite welcome, Bully.

I hear you on the crunchiness of time. You still outpace not just my own blogging but my ability to comment on your blog, which is always a highlight of my Interwebbing.

And bee-tee-dubs: That isn't the worst green suit Superman's ever seen, if you'll pardon the self-indulgent link.