Friday, August 10, 2012

A Moment of DC Animated Universe Awesome: Catches girls, any size

It's time for another Moment of DC Animated Universe Awesome! So why, oh why are we starting out with...Spider-Man? Well, why not? After all it is his fiftieth anniversary!

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek

Yes, once more, it's that Excessively Evil Executive Norman Osborn in his nom-de-bande-dessinée the Green Goblin, engaging in the urban sport of, what we here at Comics Oughta Be Fun, regardless of our crush on Ms. G. Stacy, affectionally refer to as Gwen-Tossin'. All together now...aiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

But don't worry! Spider-Man is here!

Webbing! That never fails*. *Caution: webbing may sometimes fail.


So, let's shuffle over with that "nothing more to see here, folks" expression to the DC Animated Universe, where Superman is faced with the threat of mechnical menace Metallo has kidnapped Earth-1A's Jenn Tracy (caution: character name may have been made up by me for comedic effect) and is threatening to toss her off Metropolis's George Washington Brooklyn Shuster Bridge! It's the popular sport of...wait for it...Jenn-Tossin'!

Panels from Superman Adventures #2 (December 1996), script by Scott McCloud, pencils by Rick Burchett, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Marie Severin, letters by L. Lois Buhalis

It's Superman! Hooray! Let's all sing along to the Superman: The Animated Series theme song. You all know the words!

Superman, Superman
This is a guy, name of Superman
Superman, Superman
He is a man known as Superman

He's faster than a spee-eding train
He'll soar through skies just to save Lois Lane ('coz he's)

Superman, Superman
Don't call him Clark, call him Superman
Superman, Superman
The Man of Steel, he is Superman

Superman, Superman
Superman, Superman,

So, can Superman save a girl from falling off a bridge just the way Spider-Man didn't?

Why, yes. Yes, he can.


So: Superman > Spider-Man. Oh, c'mon, you knew it all along.

Panels from Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man (January 1976), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Ross Andru, Superman redraws by Neal Adams, inks by Dick Giordano, inking assists by Josef Rubinstein and Bob Wiacek, colors by Jerry Serpe, letters by Gaspar Saladino

So...Happy Anniversary, Spidey! Um...sorry.


ShadowWing Tronix said...

I thought THESE were the lyrics?

JonJ said...

Even if Spidey didn't know physics before, you'd think after saving approximately 973 people from plummeting death in exactly the same way he would have picked up a little smidgen.

Or are all those retconned?