Mister Grimm Goes to London: Now war is declared and battle come down

All this watching Love Actually and reading P. G. Wodehouse (and yes, I do know I'm falling behind on both projects...sheesh, don't rub it in! I'll catch up!) has this little stuffed bull feelin' homesick for his home away from home, my favorite city in the world, the city by the bay, the city that never stops...London. Those of you who've been following my blog for a few years (or who are brave enough to click on the ancient, ancient links in the sidebar) might remember my Christmas holiday to the City of Light Bangers 'n' Mash in 2006. Well, much as I am wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming each night of London's charms, I won't be going to London this Christmastime. (sniff) Why? Because I haven't saved up enough dimes to make the flight over. Those travel expenses can add up pretty fast, especially when you take the International Priority Air Mail option. Even if you send me over in the special flat rate box! (Be sure to punch some holes in the lid, and stock me up with delicious airline peanuts first!)

Anyway, seein' how's I can't go to London first-hand this holiday, I'm having almost as much fun reminiscing about my favorite city through the clever use of popular entertainment. Yes, I'm reading books about London, watching movies and TV shows about London, I'm eating pork pies and ploughman's lunches. And oh yes, reading Marvel comic books about London.

Marvel comics...about London? Are there such things? Well, of course there are, mate. Right on the top of the big Britty stack is of course a full run of Excalibur, and don't forget those Marvel UK Captain Britain comics...um...and then there's...oh, wait, wait, don't tell me, I know...there's those Thing comics set in London.

If'n you pay attention to the history of Marvel UK, you're probably at least vaguely aware that it brought out some pretty innovative British superhero comics: both original characters as well as new stories featuring the good ol' Marvel gang, new additions to Earth-616 (a term coined by a Brit, lest ye forget), and brand-new licensed (or maybe I should say 'licenced') comics in the Star Wars, Doctor Who and Transformers universes. There were UK comics featuring reprints of lots of the American Marvel heroes, including Spider-Man Comics Weekly, The Daredevils, and...and I am getting to the point of this post...The Thing is Big Ben.

The awkwardly-titled The Thing Is Big Ben premiered in 1984 and lasted a grand total of eighteen weekly issues and a Summer Special before being cancelled. Never fear, British Ben Grimm lovers: Spider-Man Weekly continued reprinting The Thing stories that had been Big Ben's meat and veg.

I've never laid my hand on a copy of this illustrious comics magazine with the double-barreled name, but ishs pop up once in a while on eBay UK, and no Ben Grimm collection is truly complete without one or two, so I better get bidding, haven't I? Which issue to buy, I wonder? Well, choose wisely, because UK magazines and comics often come with free gifts or special extra features inside! As you can spy with your little eye above, ish #1 came with a free hat. And take a butcher's Isle of Wight-ways at issue #4, which spotlights the pop stylings of the original leader of the Frightful Four, Michael Jackson. As I said, choose wisely:



By the bye (as they say across the pond), just why was this mag called The Thing Is Big Ben, aside from the obvious effect of getting tykes to order something at their local newsstand that sounds vaguely like a pornographic magazine? Well, we won't know for sure until Dez Skinn or Neil Tennant writes their tell-all volumes on inside the Marvel UK offices, but it's often surmised it was an attempt by Marvel to trade off popularity on this character:


"Big Ben: The Man with No Time for Crime" (man, that's a great hero name!) was created by Dez Skinn and written by Alan Moore into the Marvelman/Miracleman comic. I have read some of these adventures, and they're a thrill and a hoot (a throot?), despite the ever-changing background and origin story of the hero. Check 'em out if you ever see back issues, and tell 'em Bully sent you.

So! What's all that got to do with the topic of tonight's post (he asks, several dozen column inches down)?

Absolutely nothing. (Say it again!)

That said, Aunt Petunia's blue-eyed baby nephew Benjamin J. Grimm is no stranger to London Town, and that's what we're gonna scope out tonight. Join me as I flip open my well-worn, tea-stained copy of Marvel Two-In-One #29, and get ready to see if the London of Marvel Comics bears any resemblance to the real City by the Thames, or if it's just all made up from watching The Benny Hill Show, in the first installment of the aptly named


(For best results, click here while reading.)

Marvel Two-in-One...aw, heck, let's just call it MTIO from here on in, shall we?...#29 is the first of a several-issue arc that takes Ben Grimm and his vivacious girlfriend Alicia to the British Isles, and although the story starts proper in the previous issue, it only covers the trip to England, and guest-stars the Sub-Mariner as a surly British Air flight attendant who jealously won't run the in-flight movie, Vincent Chase's smash Aquaman. No, let's start out here with The Thing and Miss Thingette already comfortably established in the city I love:

All panels are from Marvel Two-In-One #29 (July 1977), written by Marv Wolfman, penciled by Ron Wilson, inked by Sam Grainger, lettered by John Costanza


Why, I can almost hear the peals of Westminster Tower's famous clock bell, the aptly named "Large Benjamin," and feel the cool cloudy air. As we'll find out in a minute, although it looks like they're directly near the Houses of Parliament, Ben and Alicia are actually in Trafalgar Square. You can certainly see Big Ben from Trafalgar Square—it just doesn't loom as large overhead as it looks here. We'll chalk that up to some poetic licence from the always-dynamic Ron Wilson, and instead ponder this: just where the Sam Scratch did Ben get a newspaper with a photo of Jack Kirby on the back cover?!? The Daily Mail, that ain't!

We get a better look at the tabloid newspaper in the next few panels:



In a medium that more often than not gets its reference material wrong, especially if it's outside of New York City (more specifically, outside a six block radius of Marvel's offices...), Ron Wilson doesn't make any serious gaffes in portraying the London of the late 70s...there's no foggy streets or pearly queens, and probably the most serious slip made in this issue is the paper's headline: no British newspaper would refer to the country as "GB," and probably not even "Great Britain." Here, let's try a slightly more realistic headline torn from the pages of today's Sun:



The reference to the London Underground above is pretty spot-on too: fame don't buy a ride on the Tube. But it doesn't hurt to have a cute face!:



Ron Wilson's pretty spot on as Ben and Alicia continue touring Trafalgar Square, stopping to buy peanuts to feed the pigeons. Now, you can't do that anymore (curse you, Ministry of Health!), but you certainly could in 1977:



And if there's one thing Ben Grimm and I both know, it's that pigeons come runnin' for the delicious taste of peanuts!




The London Routemaster bus, an also-vanished icon of London, is aptly represented by Wilson as it takes Ben and Alicia out of Trafalgar Square. Don't sit on the top floor, Ben!




Here's Ben and Company at London's famous and colorful Piccadilly Circus. That angle on the corner of the illuiminated billboard looks a little sharp to me (it's a much more curvy slope), but, as Ben Grimm would say, you gits the picture:




Now, I'm not exactly certain where in London Shang-Chi: Master of Kung Fu, this issue's special team-up guest-star and the number "two" in Two-in-One, is literally reflecting:



..but he might be hangin' out at Regent's Canal, in the lovely and picturesque Little Venice:



So, I'm pretty chuffed with MTIO #29: it's as bracing as a cup of hot milky tea and as fun as a Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin marathon. And surprise surprise, it actually does a decent job of accurately portraying London, not only in general but many of the sights I've seen on my holidays.

On the other hand, I've been to London several times, and never once have I seen cockney Hydra agents:



So, in conclusion, London: a fun place to visit. And it can be very informative too. I've learned that when you're in London and you want to know what time it is, you just check Big Ben. Hey, Big Ben, what time is it?



No, no, the other Big Ben. Hey, Big Ben: what time is it?