Monday, June 18, 2007

Galactus: Live from Earth!

Hey there, true bull-lievers! Didja catch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer this weekend? Didja like it? Sure, there were some spotty bits and clunky dialogue, but the second the Silver Surfer soared into orbit above the Earth and confronted Galactus, I was spilling my popcorn, shrieking in glee, and overcome by all kindsa awesome at the sight of a hundred-story tall armored giant, glaring down at the Surfer, raising his massive hand and blasting the Surfer right off his board before the Surfer swooped through his big legs, came around and blasted him right in the face, making him fall back on his mighty metal ass! Hah! Take that, big helmeted guy! They did a bang-up job on the CGI effects for Galactus, making him look as tall and mighty and aloof as we've always pictured him from the comics, didn't they? And his voice...did you even know they'd gotten Liev Schreiber to play the voice? Man, I was all in a tizzy...and the way you saw Galactus's body floating among the cosmos after the end credits...and they just zoom in on his big square pupil...and he blinks...I smell sequel, baby!

Galactus Live


What?

Huh?

What are you all grumbling about? A cloud? Where was there a cloud in this movie? I didn't see any clouds. All I saw was a giant CGI alien in armor and helmet towering over the Earth and challenging the Surfer. He was there as plain as the ring on my face!

Nothing but a shadow? Um, guys, maybe you walked into the wrong theater and were looking at George Clooney in Ocean's Thirteen, but by gosh, I sure as heck could see the Jack Kirby-style Galactus in this movie...

Wait a minute. Let me look this up. Hmmmm...Google...G-A-L-A-...okay, hold on...whoa, what's this?: John Byrne's Galactus
As a being who is both an abstract entity and a physical creature, Galactus' true form and nature are beyond the capability of mortal beings to comprehend. Sentient beings perceive Galactus's physical form as they most imagine him to be. He may appear to be an amorphous or non-corporeal being to some observers, while others may be able to perceive him as an armored giant towering above them.
Or, as that famous John Byrne page puts it:
Each mind that views him struggles at best it can to perceive that unguessable force as an image it can comprehend.


Well, there's your problem. If you didn't see a big giant guy in a helmet...well, you've got no one to blame but your own myopia.

Man, I bet you guys didn't even see the awesome CGI Jack Kirby getting turned away from the wedding alongside Stan.


6 comments:

Skipper Pickle said...

Please, please can i come live in your world?

Anonymous said...

So...what's your picture from?

Blockade Boy said...

Aw, Bully--! That's the most adorable fanwank ever!

km said...

This whole 'each sees Galactus as they imagine him to be' thing takes on really interesting overtones when you look at that Thor #226 cover below...

Anyway, little stuffed bull, I second the request to come play in *your* imagination for awhile. :)

cooker said...

Unless I miss my guess, that image is from one of the lushly rendered cutscenes in the Marvel: Ultimate Alliance game.

Oh, how I wish they would make a whole movie that looked as great as the cutscenes in that game.

Mace Morrison said...

Just another example of studios underestimating the audience's intelligence.