Harry Potter and the Get-Rich-Quick Scheme

Let's see what's in the London papers, shall we? No, not this vital front-page news story...


But this important news:


And the very next day, in the front windows of W. H. Smith here in the High Street, Smith's wastes no time in trying to capture your Chrimble 2006 pounds for a product that's not ready yet:


It's the Star Wars Early Bird pack all over again, isn't it? What lucky British kid is going to get this for Christmas, I wonder?

GRAN: And here's a special package for you, little Nigel. I know how much you love Harry Potter!
NIGEL: Oooh, hoorah! (ripping open paper) Oh.
GRAN: It's the new Harry Potter novel!
NIGEL: It's a receipt from W. H. Smith.
GRAN: Yes, you can turn it in for the new Harry Potter novel when it comes out. Maybe next summer.
NIGEL: ...
MUM: Thank Gran for the lovely book, Nigel.
NIGEL: I bloody hate you, Gran.