Friday, November 17, 2006

British Secret Agent Week: The Further Adventures of James Bond

As I mentioned on Saturday, the Swedish James Bond 007 comic book series puts most other Bond adaptations to shame: it appears to have run for at least 35 years and featured hundreds of Bond issues with gorgeously-painted and -designed covers.

When you're doing a running 007 series, of course, you'll eventually come up against the same problem the movie producers did: you'll run out of original Fleming stories to adapt. That's no problem; it looks like the Swedish writers and cartoonists had a blast creating all-new Bond adventures in addition to adapting the old standbys. In excited anticipation for the new Casino Royale movie opening I've been eagerly looking at the gorgeous covers of this series and day-dreaming about the all-new Bond adventures between their glossy, thrilling covers.

But since I don't read Swedish, I kinda had to speculate what some of the stories were about. Here's my best guesses to what stories you'd find behind some of the most intriguing covers of the series:

Two of Ian Fleming's most beloved literary creations meet in the ultimate crossover: "Chitty-Chitty-Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang!" (Also, voodoo, apparently.)

Bond resorts to peeping-tom voyeurism in the little-known Fleming classic "A View to a Thrill!"

Step inside the private world of an off-hours 007 as we thrill to the adventures of "James Bond, Ham Radio Enthusiast!"

007 battles against the deadly schemes of the evil Baron Oscar von Meier, intent on taking over the world through tainted hot dogs and then to escape in his balloon-powered Weinermobile, in this rare Bond story entitled "My Baloney Has a First Name, It's D-E-A-T-H!"

Special guest-writer Stan Lee scripts the adventures of Bond in his ultimate crossover with the Marvel Universe: "If This Be My Forbush!"

Not to be left out, DC Comics issues an exciting crossover between Bond and Batman, and for some unknown contractual reason, Smokey and the Bandit.

When MI6's economy drives place a limit on Bond's corporate Amex, he must escape paying his exorbitant hotel bill in "Goldencard!"

Fan-favorite Pussy Galore returns in a way you—and Bond—never a real cat! It's a thrilling adventure of plastic surgery gone wrong in "Dr. Bo-tox!"

And whenever a Bond actor leaves the franchise, there's extensive media speculation on who will be the next 007. Here's the comics' suggestions for three replacement Bond actors:

Clint Eastwood!

Patrick Swayze!

Lee van Cleef!

Hmmm, I like Patrick Swayze, but I think it's smart the movie producers went with Daniel Craig. I can't wait to see Casino Royale, so I'm off to wait in line for the AMC 25 to open. See you in the balcony!


Anonymous said...

Fascinating! Thanks for posting this, Bully.

SallyP said...

Oh Bully, this was an utter hoot.

Blockade Boy said...

I think that first cover is calling me names. (And I'd just like to reply, "No, you are dodlig synvinkel!")

Bill said...

Okay, so I'm going to be singing "My Baloney Has a First Name, It's D-E-A-T-H!" for the rest of the week now.

Also, Patrick Swayze? I think it looks more like MegaForce-era Barry Bostwick, personally, but I suppose it's all open to interpretation. And as for that last one, is it really Lee Van Cleef as Bond, or merely Part 1 of the long-awaited 007 / Master Ninja crossover?

Perry said...

The first one is not Chitty-chitty bang-bang, but Moonraker