Sunday, January 05, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 5: Reed Richards's Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator

Panel from Fantastic Four (1998 series) #1 (January 1998), script by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer, colors by Liquid!, letters by Richard Starkings and Albert Deschesne

The Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator! Now that's a big triple-barelled name for something that might more easily be described as Big Ben Grimm Jet Pack.

In fact, and because it's designed and built by Reed Richard,s it's even better than a jet-pack, because it's completely carbon-neutral: it uses the magnetic field of the Earth as power! I just hope Ben Grimm took his Discover Card out of his wallet first. Because it doesn't use fuel and it can travel up to Mach 10 (even while carrying a quarter ton of Aunt Petunia's favorite blue-eyed nephew) while it transmits electromagnetic scans back to home base. Wow! And that was in 1998. It's 2014, for Pete's sake...where is my Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator? I was promised an Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator!

Caution: do not use Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator around open flame.

Did we mention the Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator has an auto-ignition? Now How much would you pay?

What's more, it can duplicate the rare scientific process known as The Bullwinkle Effect.

Warning: be sure to install the optional brakes on your Electromagnetic Meson Velocirator.

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