Because today we celebrate the negative nine hundred-eighty-fifth anniversary of the worst June 4 of all.
Pages from Legion of Super-Heroes v.4 #38 (Late December 1992) script by Keith Giffen, Tom Bierbaum, and Mary Bierbaum; breakdowns by Keith Giffen; finishes and script assist by Jason Pearson; inks by Karl Story; colors by Tom McCraw
Now, I'm not saying this to top-trump you one one-up you...sure, with your flat tire and your splattered suit and your parking ticket and your expired lunch meat, it wasn't a great day for you. But in the year 2995, they're looking back at your June 4th and saying what a picnic it was.
Yup, the Earth is gonna blow up. Puts your day in perspective, doesn't it? Makes your June 4 look like a date with Katy Perry, huh?* *This simile works best if you are Russell Brand.
Well, well, well. Your day is a walk in the park compared to this. Remember that Monty Python "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch (homaged here by Eddie Izzard, Harry Enfield, Alan Rickman and Vic Reeves)? Yup. That's what the Legion of Super-Heroes thinks about your day.
Still fuming about your crummy June 4? Well, at least you didn't have to be evacuated from the planet you were born on and tossed in a floating space ark with the small percentage of humanity that could be saved, did you? ANo, you did not.
And if you were lucky, you came home, switched on the TV, and watched a little Smallville or Friday Night Lights. You didn't have to see this on your June 4:
Also, I'm pretty much guessing you are not a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes with the oh-so-kawaii spectre of the Grim Reaper looming over you, especially if your name is Ferro Lad.
So, pop open a pint of Ben and Jerry's, sit back, put your feet up, and reflect how, in comparison, you had a pretty darn good June 4th. Maybe your boss yelled at you, maybe you broke a shoelace, maybe your well-planned multi-billion-dollar international jewel heist was foiled by a bumbling French Sûreté detective. I dunno.
My point...and I do have one...is that you never know when the Earth will blow up*, so treat each day as a celebration and a joy. *(June 4, 2995, actually.) Remember to be careful and have fun out there, kids. As one of the great philosophers of the last century once opined:
You know, I've really learned something today. June 4 isn't about flat tires, or fallen soufflés, or whether Shrinking Violet and Light Lass had a thing going on, or whether that guy's name was Mon-El, M'onel, Valor, or Ralph...it's about seizing the carp out of every day and sinking your teeth into life, enjoying every bite, just like Tenzil Kem.
So, Happy June 4. And sweet dreams!