Today in Comics History, February 29: Hal Jordan Ruins Leap Day

Well, 'round about now is when our ol' pal Hal Jordan starts to have mighty big trouble on Leap Day, and doesn't look like that plastic cereal box prize ring is gonna help him get outta this mess o' the Giant Green Goblin with a Red Speedo, no how, no way.


from cover of DC Special #21 (DC/National, April 1976), pencils and inks by Ernie Chan, colors by Tatjana Wood, letters by John Workman (?)
Note: this story takes place during a Leap Year but not necessary on LEap Day. But it's my blog, so ya boo, this is where it goes.



Who do you think is the betitled "Leap Year Menace?" Hint: it actually isn't this big green guy. Say, Hal, if you created this monster with your power ring, how come his underpants are red? Huh? How does that work, GL, ya big load? And wow, Gil Kane has really lovingly drawn his abdominal muscles right down to his big alien area, hasn't he? Best not to think about it too much, actually.


from "The Leap Year Menace: in Green Lantern (1960 series) #3 (DC/National, November 1960), script by John Broome, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Joe Giella, letters by Gaspar Saladino
No, the menace that springs (get it?) fron Leap Year is in fact that Amiable Aircraft Owner Carol Ferris, who, after attending this week's meeting of the Beautiful Beleaguered Bunch of superhero gal pals (charter members: Lois Lane, Iris West, Julie Madison and Steve Trevor) has come up with an idea. An awful idea. Ms. Ferris had a wonderful, awful idea.


Seeing as it's Leap Year, the year when traditional it's up to the woman to pop the question to the man (see also Sadie Hawkins Day), Carol plans to ask Green Lantern to marry her! Check out Hal's bug-eyed surprise in the first panel and his grim disgust in the second. What a range!


Anyway, what Carol is...ah ha ha ha...proposing sounds much like a marriage of convcenienince or at least just fond affection, because it certainly doesn't seem as they're actually in love with other. Hal never even mentions the word! As a late great musical genius once sang:

He may have held my hand
When we were walking down the street
He talked about all kinds of things
But none of them were him and me
He looked into my eyes
Just as an airplane roared above
Said something about football
But he never mentioned love

"He Never Mentioned Love" by Kirsty MacColl (Virgin, 1991), written by Kirsty MacColl and Jem Finer
Later, while his pal Eel O'Brien poses as an umbrella, GL asks people to give enthusiastically to the Community Chest fund, because he just landed on Park Place for four houses and he's gotta pay that off fast. But Carol, resplendent in a LBD, pearls, and a poluce bag, is about to ask the question! And of course Hal can't say "let's wait" or "I need to date you more" or "Oh god, oh god oh god NO," because if she lays out the Will You Marry Me weaponized Leap Year bombshell, he has to marry her. Them's the rules of comics!


In order to distract her and give humself a chance to declare "Exit, stage left, already!," Hal creates a giant green monster with his power ring as a diversion. Yes, it's true: men would rather create a giant monster with their power ring than go to therapy.


Uh oh! Carol is bored by the sight of a giant green scary alien creature. It's less than a dozen stories into your legacy and she's already become, shall be say, jaded to the strange adventures and mysteries in space that surround you, Hal! Quick! Suddenly point at something behind her, and then dash off, laughing merrily at your escape!


Suddenly - and this is the great part — Hal is knocked unconscious by a model plane that isn't even yellow, so he passes out and can't answer to Carol's proposal! This is the point where Georeg Lazenby wanders in, looks at the camera, and quips "This never happened to the other fella!"


In the end, GL decides it would be bigamy big a' him to not tie himself down to just one woman, since all his fans seem to have missed he just got knocked on his ass by a kiddie toy. Way to escape real life, ya green idjit.


And that's the story of how the Grinch stole Christmas Hal Jordan ruined Leap Day. Think about it, won't you?