Today in Comics History, July 3: Happy birthday, Tom Cruise!

Born on this date: actor and producer Tom Cruise, seen here in the only comics portrayal that wasn't sued by his crazy-ass cult "church!"


house ad for ALF from Marvel Comics cover-dated April 1988



Hah! I kill me! But I'm not scared of them. How's he gonna sue me? He hasn't got a foot to stand on!


cover of Mission: Impossible #1 one-shot (Marvel, May 1996), pencils and inks bt Rob Liefeld
The Grand Comicbook Database tells us "The initial printing of this comic's interior was mostly pulped, apparently because Tom Cruise felt his character was drawn 'too feminine' in two panels on page 3." Hah! Tom Cruise is a snowflake! Recalled Comics has the story.


Archie's Generic Celebrities™ presents...Not Actually Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman!



from Cheryl Blossom (1997 series) #1 (Archie, April 1997), script by Dan Parent, pencils by Don DeCarlo, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
Say, how bad is John "I'll totally rewrite Lee and Ditko" Byrne's reboot of the Spider-Man origin story? So bad that characters actually think that's Tom Cruise under the Spider-Mask.


from Spider-Man #1 (Marvel, December 1998); script, pencils, inks and letters by John Byrne, colors by John Kalisz
Yes, and that's the beauty of comic books: even tho' he's a paid cult shill, comic books can make Tom Cruise do anything they want to!


from Spider-Man: Get Kraven #2 (Marvel, September 2002), script by Ron Zimmerman, pencils by John McCrea, inks by James Hodgkins, colors by Lee Loughridge, letters by Jimmy Betancourt and Richard Starkings
Happy birthday, Tom (snicker)!