Marvel plans that this brand-new jumping-
...and I'm happy to be able to share this with you: here's lots more of what you can expect from Marvel NOW! (I think you are supposed to shout the NOW! when you say it) this fall. So enjoy the new secrets of... Marvel NOW! Now!
- Instead of beginning with "Stan Lee Presents," all Marvel Comics will be headlined with "Walt Disney in Association with the Walt Disney Company Corporation, Walt Disney Productions, Walt Disney Entertainment, Disney Consumer Products and Walt Disney Theme Parks Present"
- Reuse the plots from "Heroes Reborn"
- In his new origin, Daredevil blinded by a radioactive Kardashian
- Northstar divorces his husband; marries Kevin Keller
- Original five members of the X-Men replaced by Wolverine, Deadpool, Punisher, Thanos, and Wolverine
- New digital comics format allow readers to download and pirate comics within seconds
- Spider-Man now carries guilt of having personally beaten Uncle Ben to death in an argument over wheatcakes
- The New Universe, and this time we're gonna make that puppy stick
- Brian Bendis will probably write something
- Reed Richards divorces Sue, remarries with younger trophy wife Mary Jane Watson
- Annual crossover with superheroes from Earth-2
- Marvel Now! Pogs
- Tony Stark's drinking problem replaced by OCD; each issue to feature 8-10 pages of Tony washing his hands
- Dark Power Pack
- Carol Danvers demoted to Lieutenant Marvel
- Wolverine's claws now made of delicious candy
- Give The New Warriors their own book one more time. Kids love The New Warriors, right?
- Comic book printing to introduce fifth color
- Nick Fury Jr. revealed to have five-year-old illegitimate son missing one eye, who takes command of SHIELD
- Psylocke's rear end to get its own four-issue limited series
- Marvel to publish new Batman comic; bets DC won't even notice
- Holding the line at $5.99
I had heard of Marvel Now, and wasn't really impressed/interested, but I have got to see the issue were Peter beats Uncle Ben over Wheatcakes. It'll be just like the story were Batman lost his parents over a misunderstanding about croutons.
ReplyDeleteIf only Marvel would publish Uncle Scrooge and Walt Disney's Comics and Stories. If only somebody would.
ReplyDeleteListen, if they promise that those pages of Tony washing his hands will be done in rigid 3x3 grids with Keith Giffen on pencils, I'm IN.
ReplyDelete"Nick! Are you OK? You were standing right there when the gamma ray bomb went off!"
ReplyDelete"What 'choo talkin' bout, Willis?"
'Scuse me, gotta go set up a subscription to the new Psylocke title...the new fifth color should really make things POP!
ReplyDeleteOh, and you forgot the new Odd Couple title, with Wolverine playing Felix and the Hulk as Oscar...
No, X-Men is going to feature Wolverine, Daken, X-23, Rogue, and Wolverine.
ReplyDeleteMarvel solicitations describe Rogue as "the Wolverine of the team".
I hope that you are giving your Marvel Mole LOTS and LOTS of candy!
ReplyDeleteDelicious Wolverine Claw Candy!