Batman Hates Windows '97

Crimefighter, detective, disguise artist, mentor to young people...is there anything Batman can't do? The correct answer, is as always, Batman can do everything. Including the time that he set up his own computer tech support line to aid the good citizens of Gotham City against the knavery of Colonel Panic, the supercrook who will infect your files and crash your system...villainously!

Thus was born Batman Tech Support! Need some computer assistance? Just call 1-800-BATTECHSUPPORT! (The extra "SUPPORT" is for "support"!) Or, you could, I guess, shine a giant lighted signal into the sky and project this image on the clouds:



In no time at all (plus a ninety to six-hundred-eighty minute waiting period on hold—don't hang up, your calls are very important to Batman!), the Caped Crusader will be by to fix your computer in a trice! Or, possibly, on a desk. What's his secret to his speedy and efficient service calls? Why, that would be Batman's simple two-step service process:


Panels from Detective Comics #771, script by Greg Rucka, pencils by Steve Lieber, inks by Mark McKenna and Robin Riggs, colors by Jason Wright, letters by Todd Klein

So, next time your computer freezes and crashes, remember this simple jingle for the finest computer tech support in Gotham City!:

If your PC should freeze or crash
Don't let your teeth grind and gnash
Call one-eight-hundred, Bat-Tech-Support
The Batman your problem he will thwart!

That's Batman Tech Support, with fifteen convenient locations around Gotham City including Aparo Park, Cape Carmine, Robbinsville, and Arkham Asylum!