Thursday, October 07, 2010

Professor X is a Jerk!: Compulsory Clambake

Professor X is a Jerk

The universe is in danger! Sentinels are attacking! Apocalypse is apocalyptin'! Magneto's hoardes are on their way to pillage, burn and plunder! So what does the most brilliant mutant mind in the universe, Professor Charles J. (for "Jerk") Xavier command his students?

X-Men #8
Panel from X-Men #8 (May 1992), plot, pencils, and inks by Jim Lee, script by Scott Lobdell, more inks by Art Thibert, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Tom Orzechowski


Why, it's a MANDATORY PICNIC!

When they returned, of course, the X-Mansion had been completely destroyed by Juggernaut and the Blob. They ripped up Jubilee's closetful of yellow trench coats! They sat on Cyclops's extra ruby quartz glasses! They put Nair in Beast's shampoo bottles! They danced with jing-tinglers tied to their heels! They whammed their who-whonkers! (And I think we all know how painful that can be.) They even scratched up all of Wolverine's Debbie Gibson albums!

Also, Jean got killed again.

But no, the X-Men had to go have a picnic because Professor X said so.

Whatta jerk.


4 comments:

  1. Awesome post man, just awesome.

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  2. Thanks, Bully - great fun. Another WTF moment from 90's X-men that made me quit 'em.

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  3. This is like every work-related "mandatory fun" event I've ever been to. Who cares if there's work to do? I get to go eat a mustard and lettuce sandwich* while sitting around in the heat with people I don't have much to talk about with.

    *yes, that really happened. Apparently, you had to *ask* for the veggie burgers, but that news didn't make it to me until afterward.

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  4. Bless you for the reference to the 1987 X-Men pilot theme song.

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