Hi hi hi, everyone! Good evening, ladies and germs and all the ships at sea! It's me, your little stuffed host, Bully, back with another action-filled, tension-thribbled, groundhog-free installment of The Fun Fifty, the only awards show that takes place not on a stage but entirely on a spinning comics rack! (Also, the Cable Ace Awards.) When we last left you, we were at.,..let me check my clipboard here...number three thousand and thirty! So let's count down the next ten, starting with number 3,029...the comic where Guy Gardner throws up blood!:
#3,029: GUY GARDNER: BLOODPUKER #43 • If you were lookin' for some high-adventure blood-puking in 2009, then there's only one comic you could have gone to. Actually, there were several, but only one featured everyone's favorite plasma-barfer, Guy Gardner! This crimson-stained comic had everybody reaching for the bucket in 2009 when Guy became a member of the Blood Puking Lantern Corps and began to...
Wait a minute! Number three thousand and twenty-nine? Who's been messing with my clipboard???
What did I tell you, you darn groundhog! Get outta here! Go bother Sims for once!
Now that he's gone, let's get on with the real countdown, 'kay? Here we go again with...
#30: DARK REIGN • What's that?!? Bully enjoyed a Marvel mega-event? Is up now down? Is black white? Is Batman Owlman? Is Mr. Fantastic The Brute? I haven't made secret my feelings about the past...can it be six years of Marvel's heroes rolling down the slippery slope that started with "Avengers Disassembled": ranging from pretty general indifference for some storylines and outright little-stuffed-entitled-rage over others. Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.? (*Strategic Hound Intelligence, Encompassing Little Dalmatians) I'd call that book Iron Man: Director of J.E.R.K.*! (*Justice Eliminated, Revering Kaos) But you know, getting me interested in the newest twist in the Marvel Universe is as simple as 1-2-3: #1: Make the villains the villains. Enough pitting hero vs. hero, let's show that when supers squabble the sinisters slither in. (Oooh, that's good!) With Stormin' Norman Osborn in charge, there's an entirely new status quo, and it's compelling to see how the heroes—from the ground level to the cosmic—react. #2: As Stan once said, Bring on the Bad Guys! We've been privy to a level of intimacy with 616's supervillains that we haven't had since the last time Doctor Doom
and the Red Skull got together for brunch. I've become somewhat sympathetic to Hercules's brother Ares, thrilled by the loose-cannon exploits of Bullseye/Hawkeye, intrigued by the machinations and madness of Norman himself. It's a clever twist on the usual "hero fights villain" trope of superhero comics. Heck, there were a few moments (a few) when I even liked Daken. And of course, #3: keep it fun. With the entire event spreading across the MU, there's plenty of heroes and villains to follow, but whatever book you're reading, there's high adventure and drama and suspense and even a lot of laughs. (You gotta love the bickering the Dark Avengers mutter behind Osborn's back; squabbling among themselves just like the Fantastic Four or the Avengers.) The triumph of Spider-Man as he tricks Osborn in Spider-Man: The List, the roller-coaster twists of a hero betraying his team to save his child, and even the Sentry's Kenny McCormick impersonation every few issues, made me feel that even if each individual title didn't appeal to me, this was a world that was different and unique. After decades of promising "the Marvel Universe will never be the same," they finally did it. Dark Reign: I wouldn't wanna read about it forever, but it's a fun place to visit.
#29: SIMPSONS COMICS • Like Futurama, the Simpsons line of comics from Bongo is consistently one of my favorites: there's always at least two or three, very often a few dozen laugh-out-loud moments and sheer animation-to-page entertainment. And that's a lot of entertainment: the Simpsons family of comics includes Simpsons Comics, Simpsons Super Spectacular, Bart Simpson, Treehouse of Horror, Summer Shindig, Winter Wingding, and The Love Stories of Moe Szyslak. Among this year's stand-outs: Sergio Aragonçs came aboard to write and illustrate Bart's fiftieth issue and he continues with the charming "Maggie's Crib" feature in subsequent issues; interconnecting stories of life in the information age take our favorite yellow family into cyberspace; plus the three-issue crossover event (and future "Monday Night Mural") Radioactive Man Saga parodies everybody's favorite hobby (and it ain't collecting stamps, bub!) With jokes and dialogue as sharp and witty as the Sunday night TV show, Simpsons Comics never fail to entertain me. Why thank you, young man...I will have a cow!
#28: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN • Your mileage may vary depending on the writer and artist on a particular arc, but I've been digging the whole post-MJ (who?!?) Spidey-saga more than I've thrilled to our friendly neighborhood you-know-what in years. New characters, old characters kept fresh with new intriguing subplots, an unexpected wedding, the meanest mayor in Manhattan, and the ever-growing threat of Dark Reign: all these elements thrown into the mix and spun out intricately kept me hanging like a...well, you know. My favorite arcs included "24/7," a fun twist on how nothing ever works out for Spidey no matter how hard he tries, the aforementioned wedding story, done reverently and joyfully, and may I say, 'bout time May found a new man of her dreams, and the main Dark Reign tie-in: "American Son," the last temptation of Harry Osborn that pits him against his father, with Spider-Man in the middle. Add in the return of Stan the Man for a funny tale of Spidey visiting his therapist, and the return of that red-headed stranger, and you've got a Spider-year that 2010's going to have to work hard to beat.
#27: THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN • Tony Stark makes you feel he's a cool exec with a brain of oatmeal, thanks to Matt Fraction's scripting on one of the finest Shellhead tales in recent years, "World's Most Wanted." On the run from Norman Osborn and his Dark Avengers, Tony's not only got to keep not only Stark Industries's technology out of the hands of H.A.M.M.E.R....but the secrets of the entire superhero world that Tony has in his head. Stark sets off on a global chase to destroy his factories...and his knowledge...by systematically erasing his brain bit by bit. As Norman gets closer, Stark gets dumber...and his Iron Man armor is downgraded every time until he's clomping around in the old grey metal shell. But even a disgraced Tony's got allies, especially perky Pepper Potts, who gets to try on a tin suit of her own. #19's final faceoff between Stark and Osborn is one of the best single issues of 2008. Hey, movie guys...looking yet for a great plot for IM3? You could do yourseves, and us, a favor by picking up Fraction's story!
#26: MARVEL ADVENTURES: AVENGERS • 2009 saw a farewell to my favorite Avengers book since...oh, around the glory days of Michelinie, Byrne, and Perez. Paul Tobin's kid-friendly Avengers are nevertheless the real deal: wisecracking Spider-Man, earnest Captain America, innovative Iron Man, regal Thor...but all with a sense of humor and rollicking fun missing from New and Mighty Avengers. This past year saw more action in each single issue than most entire Bendis arcs: the Avengers time-travel to Ancient Egypt and team up with Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos (stopping for pancakes with Abe Lincoln along the way); join a dating service to thwart Batroc's schemes; face off against a vengeful genie intent on stomping Bruce Banner...and they clean up Avengers Mansion. I can think of no finer Marvel book to introduce kids...or, indeed, anyone...to the Marvel superheroes and their sense of justice and fun. By the end of the year MA: A was gone and Marvel Adventures Super Heroes rebooted the Avengers with even more diverse characters (Nova! The Invisible Girl!), but I'm already nostalgic for the genial but dense Hulk and the Spider-Man with wisecracks that actually do make you laugh of MA: Avengers. This book will be missed.
#25: TORCHWOOD: CHILDREN OF EARTH • 2008 only gave us five episodes each of Doctor Who and Torchwood, but whoo-hoo, what a ride! I was glued to the edge of my seat (darn you, Shelly! Put the paste away!) through the five-night Torchwood miniseries in sorta-real-time: darker and edgier than most of the regular episodes, with mysteries and cliffhangers that send a chill up your spine. For best results if you have the DVD, watch a chapter a night, but don't watch the accompanying documentary until after the miniseries! Even saying too much might ruin the fun, so I'll simply say that we find out one of the darkest moments of Captain Jack's past, and I don't wanna work for Torchwood anymore. It's just too dangerous. Fine, spooky, moody stuff reminiscent of alien-vistation films of the fifties and sixties with a twist of the twenty-first century (when everything changes).
#24: WEDNESDAY COMICS • Some comics look great. Some comics are innovative in format. Some are thrilling to read. Wednesday Comics, while flawed, hit pretty close to those three marks each of its twelve weeks. This clever and cool anthology replicates the big Sunday comics sections of old, with a modern DC twist: each of the strips is a continuing adventure of DC heroes big and small. Curiously, the three least effective strips were those of DC's big guns: the trinity of Batman (fairly standard and somewhat mundane Bat-adventure), Superman (poorly-paced, frequently action-less), and Wonder Woman (pretty to look at, strenuous to read: a dream does not a story make). The strips that stood out—the ones I looked forward to every week—were those that took experimental new approaches to not only their starring heroes but the format of the strips. Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook's Prince Valiant-flavored "Kamandi" gave a grandeur and solemnity to Kirby's over-the-top world. Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred's playful and sixties-tinged "Metamorpho" played games with panels and layout, including a snakes and ladders board game and trippy hip-hop through the periodic table where Metamorpho changes into every element plus works each chemical abbreviation into his dialogue. Kyle Baker's "Hawkman" is big, gorgeous, all-action fun of a guy with wings and a big-ass mace fighting dinosaurs; best cliffhangers in the series. But by far my favorite couple features were Karl Karschl and Brenden Fletcher's "The Flash," where a time-zipping Barry Allen shared a page with the soap opera comic "Iris West," paralleling his adventures from his wife's POV; and "Supergirl" by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner, with Kara chasing superpets-gone-wild Streaky and Krypto with the aid of guest-stars Dr. Mid-Nite and Aquaman (and his "shell-phone"). Conner's artwork is bright and energetic; I'd love to see her draw a regular Supergirl series. Wednesday Comics is a mixed bag: some duds, an assortment of good but uninspired comics, and a few polished gems. In the Silver Age, DC spotlighted characters and artists in rotating books like The Brave and the Bold and Showcase. The best of Wednesday Comics has the right stuff to stand alongside those classics.
#23: DARK REIGN: FANTASTIC FOUR • I loved Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's FF with its way-out science concepts and inventive twists on the mythology of Marvel's First Family (altho' I'll say it one last time: where the heck was Alicia during all this?!? Nice handkerchiefy ending to the Ben wedding story, tho'). As up and down as the FF's book can be in recent years...heck, throughout its existence...I was a little worried about the departure of Messrs. M. & H. and the arrival of Jonathan Hickman as my favorite team's new scripter. I needn't have worried, and didn't, when I read Dark Reign: FF. Hickman's got the characters voices and personalities down perfect (I love, love, love his Ben Grimm!), and he uses the wonderful emphasis on family that few other superhero teams have to spin off new and interesting stories. DRFF (durff?) features Reed opening alternate realities to find one in which his recent, Civil War-period errors might have been rectified, while Sue, Johnny and Ben tumble through diverse Earths, encountering and teaming up with different versions of themselves. So who's left behind to hold the fort against Norman Osborn and his invading Dark Avengers? Why, Franklin and Valeria, "home alone" in the Baxter Building, of course! I'm enjoying Hickman's regular ongoing issues of the FF series (especially the recent birthday party story and the wonderful covers by Alan Davis), but DRFF tickles me pink with its concept and execution, not to mention The Most Fun Panel of 2009:
#22: FIN FANG 4 RETURN • Okay, you were paying attention last night when I told you how much I enjoy Roger Langridge's work on The Muppet Show, right? Well, that goes quadruple for the sequel to his much-beloved monster team-up, setting loose four of the Atlas Era's classic monsters (shrunken to handy-human scale) in today's Marvel Manhattan. Googam (son of Goom) has a therapy session with Doc Samson and plots to be adopted by a child-collecting celebrity; Gorgilla has a "curious" adventure; Fin himself works the grill at a Chinese restaurant and (ultimately) bums out Professor X as well as saving Christmas with the help of Dr. Strange's right-hand man Wong.; Elektro falls in love (again? but that trick never works!) Golly, this is goofy, grand fun for anyone who doesn't take the Marvel Universe too seriously...and with ancient monsters running around it in their underpants, why should you?
#21: MARVEL DIVAS • Sure, Models Inc. had the better covers by far (really, what was up with that T&A-tastic Marvel Divas ish #1 cover that Marvel still had to use it on the trade?), but Marvel Divas bought a joy and gentle humor to the quartet of Hellcat, Firestar, the Black Cat and
Whew! That's a whole spinner rack of fun-osity from the past twelve months. And we haven't even gotten to The Plaid Lantern Corps, Giant-Sized Thor Goes Shopping on the iTunes Store Annual, Dark Power Pack, and It's Called Superman But Superman's Not Actually In It, No, No, Work With Me Here, Hey, Don't Put Me Back on the Rack! And can you even believe #1 is going to be Ultimatum? Oh, whoops, darn!!! I've spoiled the big surprise. Well, if you come back tomorrow I'll give you candy? Will that work?
Candy and a nickel. That's my final offer.
Okay, a dime.
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