RAWR! Puny humans bother Hulk! Stupid humans, because Hulk is the strongest one there is! Hulk also smartest one there is, because Hulk know when stupid Leader or Abomination or stupid stupid Red Hulk bother Hulk, Hulk smash them! Hulk smash them good! Hulk always win because Hulk is strongest one there is! Not little orange Rock Man! Not stupid Robert Downey Junior in tin can suit! Not even puny Banner can stop mighty Hulk!
But when Hulk smash everybody bothering Hulk, Hulk often have a big problem. Hulk frequently wearing purple cut-offs and Hulk's dapper Arrow shirt either hanging in shreds or back there on ground about forty miles where puny Banner went away and Hulk came out! That good shirt too! Hulk angry he tear good shirt! Rawr!
What Hulk to do? Hulk not carry spare shirt in cape. Stupid human! Hulk not wear cape! What you think, Hulk dumb Superman? HA HA HA HA! Hulk laugh at that. HA! Hulk goes. HA! You amuse Hulk, puny human. Hulk smash you last!
That why Hulk always make sure Hulk bounce across desert with American Hulkpress trav...Hulk make silly mistake. Hulk say "Hulkpress." Hulk not mean that. American Express Traveler's Cheques! They safe, secure, accepted at many, many merchants all over world...so many Hulk cannot count them! Maybe even four. Maybe.
Also, Hulk's good friend Tina Fey totally spokesperson for American Express. Tina Fey smart. Also pretty! Hulk say, you go, girl! You smash puny man who not award Hulk steak knives even though Hulk make second-most sales in fourth quarter! Rawr!
So even when Hulk smash shoes and split socks and tear shirt and pop belt, Hulk is OK! Hulk will get by! You think Hulk crumble? You think Hulk mumble? No! No! Not Hulk! Hulk survive! As long as Hulk know how to buy new clothes, Hulk know Hulk stay alive! Hulk got brand clean shirts to buy! Hulk got all new clothes to try! Hulk survive! Hulk survive!
American Express have cards in many pretty colors!
But Hulk like Green Amex best! Rawr!!
So you not forget, puny human! American Express! Hulk not leap from Gamma Base without it!
Gosh, he's just such a good salesman that I want to rush right out and buy traveller's cheques.
ReplyDeleteI agree! AmEx needs to hire the Hulk to do ALL of their commercials!
ReplyDeleteI would think that "ripped in a battle with the Rhino" would fall neatly under the heading of "lost."
ReplyDelete