'Allo, all you silly Americain pig-dogs! It is I, Batroc ze Leapair, bounding into your world and into ze heart of your lovely ladies. Ah, I zhall make the sweet love to zem, I zhall, because...'ow you say?...I am not merely Batroc ze Leapair...I am alzo Batroc ze Lovair.
Now zat mon respected and honored comrade-in-arms, ze late Capitaine America, is, 'ow you zay...kaput?...Batroc, he feels safe in taking over ze Ten of a Kind feature and making it 'is own in honor of today, ze grande Bastille Day! Yes, 'Appy Bastille Day to you all. Zo now in ze zelebration of ze Bastille Day, we shall look at ze ten covairs with yours truly, Batroc ze Lepair. And afterwards? Ah, but ma petite! As a countryman of mine zez, "In the Bastille zhere is no 'afterwards.'"
Now, please to 'ave zome Frainch fries and Frainch dips sandwiches on ze Frainch bread in 'onor of Bastille Day! While you ingest ze finest cuisine zis side of zat Paris kitchen infested by ze comic rats, with zheir petit wiggling tails and zheir pink snouts, pour chance you shall watch ze very popular Batroc ze Leapair cartoon d'animation show! Pay no attention to zat star-spangled kniggit...he is not ze true star of ze show:
Opening theme of The Marvel Super Heroes: Captain America (Grantray-Lawrence Animation, 1966)
Did you anjoy zat? Trés bien! And now, for ze encore, Batrock ze Leapair zhall make away with your beautiful jewels and your women, and...'ow you zay...no one may put ze stop upon Batroc ze Leapair!
WHOOSH! CHUNK!
Zut alors! I am pinned to ze wall by a large, round, metal-like disc! It is decorated with ze Ztar and ze Ztripes! Can it be? Can mon old enemy 'ave returned? Is zis truly ze end of Batrock ze Leapair?
Oh....merde.
Wow, that is like the world's least animated cartoon...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, say what you like about Batroc, he's got the courage of his convictions. Ten covers, and on nine of them, by golly, he's leaping.
I found two others and he's leaping on both of zhose...er, those, but I didn't use 'em.
ReplyDeleteRest assured, on that Punisher cover...? He's leaping in his heart.
Batroc is truly Marvel's greatest creation.
ReplyDeleteAppropriately French-sounding verification word: oiuwewc
"Cap, you take the giant green demon, I'll take the jumping guy"
ReplyDelete"Spidey!"
The current real life leeaper!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the 'toon!
He does plenty of leaping in that Punisher story, I assure you. It is, after all, Batroc vs. Tarantula in the battle of ze foreign stereotypes, and that's something we can all enjoy.
ReplyDeleteNow more than ever I believe -- Batroc deserves a series!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes right down to it...leaping is a rather silly power. Speaking with an outrageous accent just makes it even more ridiculous. That said, I do have an odd affection for Batroc.
ReplyDeleteHe's still not as silly as Stilt Man.
No, his power is the martial art of savant.
ReplyDeleteLeaping is his passion.
Savate.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm pretty sure Peter Sellers dubbed all Batroc's dialogue.