Hello there, Americans! Captain America here. You know, after a hard day fighting Nazis, Hydra, AIM, disguised Richard Nixons, or my own estranged former teammates, there's nothing like heading back to Avengers Mansion for a delicious, sweet and tart savory slice of apple pie, piping hot, fresh out of the oven. Mmmm, pie! But what with his usual duties of housework, watching the alert monitors, and cleaning out under Hawkeye's bed, Jarvis doesn't have time to make one every day. So yours truly learned to step up to the stove and bake one for himself! Follow along with me, fellow Americans, and I'll show you how. It's as easy as...heh, heh!...pie!
First, enter your kitchen! You may want to enlist a partner in making your pie, so get him in there with you! And close the door behind you! No need to be disturbed while creating your delicious culinary masterpiece!
from Avengers #107 (Marvel, January 1973); script by Steve Englehart, pencils by Jim Starlin and George Tuska, inks by Dave Cockrum and George Tuska, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Denise Wohl
Treat your equipment right! Well-kept kitchen supplies are as important as a shield by your side...don't bang 'em around! Put your pots and pans back when you're finished with them and they'll always be standing by for cooking duty at a moment's notice!
If you're interrupted by someone nosy who can't wait for the pie to be finished, just take a step back! Wait them out! And in case of kitchen fire, put it out immediately, then lie low until the smoke clears away!
Next...Ingredients, Assemble! There's no time to lose when delicious pie is the goal, so grab them from the shelf and go, soldier, go!
Now...mix, man, mix! You and your partner should by now be a well-trained baking team: slam those ingredients down, give that dough a good old American one-two punch and get ready for a taste explosion!
Finally, bake, serve, and enjoy! Mmmm, that's good pie! Serves six Avengers (two if it's Hulk and Thor).
Has Bully ever examined the old Hostess ads of the 1970s?
ReplyDeleteEverybody's seen those, tim, they're unforgettably strange.
ReplyDeleteTo Bully: Dammit, Bully! I was feeling really gloomy this morning. I didn't want to laugh or chuckle or even smile! But you ruined that. Curse you!
P.S. LMAO!
We need more cooking tips from Cap!
ReplyDeleteFor instance, did you know that, with only a small heat source required, a vibranium-adamantium alloy shield makes a superb wok? Cap never had to make do with cold C-Rations back in the war - just a little cooking oil or water, and hot meals to serve up to ten hungry G.I.s, coming right up!
But how is he with meringue?
ReplyDeleteWell, Bully, you've obviously been to my house when my kids have been baking! But it is still worth it.
ReplyDeleteAnd apparently Cap's popovers are to die for.
Now THAT'S what they mean by "American as apple pie!"
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Bully, here's something I wanted to share with you. On my blog, in addition to my (too infrequent) posts about comics, I've also been collecting jokes told by the children in the audience at my local theatre company's kids' show. I thought you'd get a kick out of this somewhat bovine-centric assortment of jokes.
I like my apple pie with a big slab of cheddar, but I imagine Cap would only serve it up with American cheese. Ugh.
ReplyDelete(Word verification is "divah" which I suppose is what I am for being picky about my pie.)