Wednesday, March 01, 2000

Today This Month in Comics History Now: Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Julian

The story you read in a previous Batman comic book is true. The names were not changed to protect the guilty. Trial was held in Section 22, Superior Court in and for the County of Kane in the municipality of Gotham City. In a moment, the results of that trial.

The suspect was found guilty of committing Calendar Crime. Calendar Crime is punishable by an extended sentence in Blackgate Prison.

Panels from "Chapter Two: Harsh Monday" in Batman 80-Page Giant #3, script by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Manuel Gutierrez, inks by Bud LaRosa, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by John Costanza

Alas, poor Julian Day, he won't even be able to see his cousin Jess and all her wacky loftmates when the Millennium switches over. On the bright side, he'll totally miss Y2K. Count your blessings, Julian!

And before you know it (a couple pages later), it is March 2000, and Jules is getting parole! Just in time to pick up the new NSYNC album No Strings Attached. C'mon, you know he's gotta be a fan.

At last! Sweet Gotham City Freedom!

Oh Gotham City freedom, shine on me, I love you
Shine the light, through the eyes of the ones left behind
Shine the light, shine the light
Shine the light, won't you shine the light
Gotham City freedom, I kill kill kill you with calendars, yes I will

Panel from "Chapter Three: The Terrible Tuesdays", script by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Mike Deodato, inks by David Roach, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by John Costanza

Well, goodie! Now at last Julian Day can get out of prison, stretch his legs, smell the fresh air, carpe that diem, and at last just have a pleaceful, quiet night's slYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

The moral of the story is: don't do the crime without a calendar that tells you the time. Or, it might be, don't give your extra house key to Batman. I dunno.