Yesterday Mike "My Comic Book Shop is Made Out of Silver" Sterling, proprietor of America's only comic book blog, asked the musical question, at the special request of pal Cathy Leamy, how do you keep the different editions of recently published comic books straight, especially when they been renumbered very recently? Which is a darn good question to ask.
I, for one, am a master of all things numbery, from chimpan-one to chimpan-three. Why, I've even read an entire comic book devoted to the art of how comics teach numbers, both whole and numbers between (and presumably up to eleventy-teen).
Comics Teach ##M-03 [Whole Numbers and Numbers Between]
Because comics have taught me many numbers. They've taught me how to count one-two-three:
Amazing Spider-Man #1, 2, and 3
They've taught me to count all the way up to 718, 719, and 720!
Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #718, 719, and 720
Comics have taught me how to count up to one thousand!
2000 AD Prog 1000, Wolverine #1000, Radioactive Man #1000
And even all the way, as of last week, to 1,958! Which was a pretty good year.
2000 AD Progs 1956, 1957, and 1958
Tho' I have to travel overseas, passport in hand, comics can teach me to count all the way up to 4,016!
Robbedoes #3518, The Dandy #3610, Spirou #4016
Yes, comics can teach you to count to a million. It takes a long time, and it's pretty confusing, but there's a really good story about Robin the Toy Wonder along the way.
Batman #1,000,000; Legionnaires #1,000,000; Starman #1,000,000
What, more? Yes! Comics have taught me to count backwards from 899!
Deadpool Team-Up #899, 898, and 897
Negative numbers equal something I've been taught by comics.
Silver Surfer #-1, Untold Tales of Spider-Man #-1, What If? #-1
Also, to embrace the cool mysticism of the simple, round zero given to us by famous ancient mathematicians who left clues behind, so that one day Indiana Jones and Lara Croft could find nothing.
Avengers vs. X-Men #0, Star Wars #0, Batman #0
They've taught me about fractions...
Spider-Man #½, The Twelve #½, Fathom #½
Those three above comics are each ONE-HALF, which makes one and a half comics, or therefore: one of these:
Avengers #1½
And from there it's merely a hop, skip and a jump to count in decimals:
Avengers #24.1, Wolverine #5.1, Fear Iitself #7.1
My comics done taught me the delicate art of counting and adding "AU" after the numbers...
Superior Spider-Man #6AU, Fearless Defenders #4AU, Uncanny Avengers #8AU
And when I'm done counting those then, I can count these now!
Nova #13.NOW, Iron Man #23.NOW, Guardians of the Galaxy #11.NOW
Yep, it's true: many comics have actually taught me how to count two numbers at the same time. Regular numbering, and extra-crispy< numbering!
Daredevil #22/402, Donald Duck #4/371, Fantastic Four #42/471
Comics have taught me that if you're counting, make sure you keep track, because if you wait a few years you might forget where you left off!
Daredevil Annual #4, Daredevil Annual #4 (should be #5)
Comics taught me not only my 1-2-3s but my A-B-Cs (copyright ©1970 the Jackson Five).
The Prisoner #A, B, and C
Ordinary school teaches you how to count using numerals, but comics teach you how to count using colors!
Deathmate Red, Yellow, and Blue
Above and beyond our puny human limits of numbering, comics have taught me how to count from alpha to omega, and even all about prime numbers!
X-Men Alpha, Omega, and Prime
Yes, comic numbers! They can take you to infinity! (And beyond!)
S.H.I.E.L.D.* #Infinity
Abiut the only things numbers in comics don't help you do is figger out which rassin'-frassin' volume of Howard the Duck #1 you're picking up from the shelf especially since they even look alike GRRRRRRRRRRR
Howard the Duck (2015 series) #1, Howard the Duck (2016 series) #1
And the same could be said of Squirrel Girl, except
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2015 series) #1, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2016 series) #1
…because at least Squirrel Girl tips you off it's Volume 2.
As always: game, set, and match: Squirrel Girl.
* Start Helping In Elegant Little Decimals
