Today in Comics History: The most accurate prediction of 2019 ever made in 1976

Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #45 (May 1976), script by Bill Mantlo, breakdowns by Sal Buscema, figure finishes by Mike Esposito, background finishes by Dave Hunt, colors by George Roussos, letters by Jean Izzo

The 1978 2017 Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar: December Defenders and Daredevils

Well, we got through another year, very nearly! And let's celebrate with a full-page, full-color montage of Spidey's Pals 'n' Gals by John Byrne! As a special bonus: it's before he went insane online!

"December Is Teaming with Dynamic Do-Gooders!" in The Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar 1978 (1977); pencils by John Byrne, inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by George Bell
(Click picture to Marvel Team-Up-size)
And, for your bonus final-month amusement and edification, here's even more Bullpen Birthdays and a special essay intoned by December birthday boy Stan Lee!

(Click picture to Stan's legend-size)
Finally, as a special treat, here's the Amazing, Spectacular, Sensational, Web of, Adjectiveless back cover of the 1978 Spidey calendar!


So remember to keep Spidey in your heart all year long, and to quote the final days of the 1978 calendar, but in full-color:


Final panel from Marvel Team-Up #1 (March 1972), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek

365 Days of Defiance, Day 277: Where hate's a dream and love forever stands / Or is this a vision in my mind?

As we saw yesterday, when you get yourself a J. M. DeMatteis comic, you don't merely get an exciting super-adventure, you get food for thought Sometimes even second helpings in the same story!:
Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #129 (May 1983), script by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Kerry Gammill, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Diana Albers

365 Days of Defiance, Day 276: Is he tough? Listen, pup! The Spider-Man never gives up!

Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #129 (May 1983), script by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Kerry Gammill, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Diana Albers
Nice, Spidey, nice! Now, put your (lack of money) where you (covered by a mask) mouth is and finish him. Finish him!


Tomorrow: another cool declaration of defiance in MTU #129, this time from Spidey's visionary team-up partner!

365 Days of Defiance, Day 27: Drain the Swamp

Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #68 (April 1978), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Phil Rachelson, letters by Bruce Patterson

Friday Flashback: All Redheads Look Alike

I think I've figgered out how to get away with calling it a week well before the weekend: with Filling up Fridays: Fine Flashback Fosts Posts, re-presenting some of my favorite Comics Oughta Be Fun! entries that you might not have seen, or would enjoy seeing again! Anyway, because I have to go to bed early, I'm re-presenting a Bully classic originally published on June 21, 2011! (I was six then.)

All redheads look alike. It's true! Here's proof: two absolutely identical-looking photographs placed side-by-side for your confusion:


You might find it hard to believe, but these two photographs are actually of different people! That's not the same person at all, but actually Karen Gillan and Willie Nelson! Or maybe Willie Nelson and Karen Gillan. Let me keep looking at them to see if I can figure that out. Hmmmm.

The redheads of the Marvel Universe all look alike, too! Take gorgeous go-go gal Mary Jane Watson, f'r instance.


Panels from Marvel Team-Up #79 (March 1979), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
As usual when danger's all about and...evil is in the air, smooth operator Peter Parker ducks his date and slips away to change into his long underwear instead of hanging around with his supermodel girlfriend. Are you beginning to wonder why we idolize Spider-Man? Me too.


Not content to sit on the sidelines while Peter Parker takes photographs of Godzilla versus Iron Man or whatever happens to be going on, vivacious redhead Mary Jane takes the law into her own hands and enters the mysterious haunted museum by herself. I bet the villain is going to be some caretaker wearing a rubber mask, which means that M.J. can be one of those meddling kids. Serves her right for wearing Gwen Stacy's blouse and jacket.


I bet around about now you're wondering where the all-redheads-look-alike bit comes in. Right about now, True bullievers! Hyp-mo-tized Mary Jane grabs a convenient sword from a museum case, setting off the alarms and instigating an INTERPOL worldwide search for the debonair thief of the Pink Panther Diamond. Oh, also, she changes to somebody else. Who could it be? Gold Girl? Loincloth Lass? Yellow Young Woman?


Nope! Curvaceous redhead Mary Jane Watson transforms into curvaceous redhead Red Sonja, complete with explanatory asterisk and buy-it-now box in completely different lettering! What she really needs is a caption explaining how the heck she can wear a bikini made of silver dollars, and why it doesn't jingle when she walks, and what the heck the purpose of those thigh bands are. Red Sonja: the original Rob Liefeld character.


And then Spider-Man...and this is the important part...thinks she looks like Mary Jane. Because Mary Jane often runs around in a metal bikini waving a broadsword and attacking demons. Oh wait, that's just in Peter Parker's fan fiction.


So, there you go. Mary Jane Watson = Red Sonja. It's easy enough to see how they would be confused for each other. One of them causes tigers to hit the jackpot, and the other one cuts the heads of tigers and puts them in a stewpot. Pretty darn close. Which not only means that Sonja looks like Mary Jane, but that she also looks like every other redhead in the Marvel Universe. At least to Wolverine:


Panels from What If? v.2 #16 (August 1990), script by Glenn Herdling, pencils by Gary Kwapisz, inks by Ian Akin and Brian Garvey, colors by Daniel Vozzo, letters by Janice Chiang
Wha...huh?!? What the Sam Scratch is Wolverine doing in the era of Red Sonja? Well, there's a very simple explanation. Here's the backstory:

The year is 1990, and Department H launches the last of Canada's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Wolverine 3 and its pilot, Captain James "Logan Howlett, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life support systems, and returns Wolverine to Earth, 500 years previous.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Eh, let's just say that The Watcher did it. Anyway, Wolverine's first thought upon seeing Red Sonja is that she's popular American humorist Jean Shepherd, but then he believes her to be Jean Grey, the Girl Who Wouldn't Stay Dead™. Well that makes sen...huh??? The only way you can explain this is that all redheads look alike! Also, for some reason, Sonja thinks Wolverine hosts a late night talk show. (That last sentence satisfies the National Comic Bloggers Association's minimum mandatory requirements for a reference of Conan O'Brien when discussing Conan the Barbarian.)


Completely by coincidence in the same story, Conan the B. is transported to Wolverine's time and place, where he immediately mistakes Jean Grey for Red Sonja! Hah! It's because all redheads look alike! His misapprehension has some slightly unfortunate consequences.


So! End of the universe, everybody! End of the universe.

Before it ends, let's take another look at some Earth-616 proof that all redheads look alike. Jean Grey, completely coincidentally and for no apparent reason at all, happens to look exactly like her own evil clone, Madelyne Pryor! What are the chances of that? Especially since Maddie Pryor is related to revolutionary comedian Richard Pryor.


Cover of Mutant X #20 (June 2000), cover art by Adam Pollina
It's a good thing that when she was first introduced, Chris Claremont Scott Summers remembered to tell us that Madelyne Pryor looked exactly like Jean Grey, since we'd never seen Paul Smith draw Jean Grey yet, and for all we knew it could be a completely different redhead. If it weren't for the fact that (sing it along with me) all redheads look alike!


Panels from Uncanny X=Men #168 (April 1983), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Paul Smith, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
I always thought that Claremont and Company oughta have capitalized on the resemblance of Maddie to Jean up as the best practical joke Scott Summers would ever play. "Hey, everybody, look who's back!" "AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Naw, jus' funnin' ya! Sucker!"



Panels from Uncanny X=Men #173 (September 1983), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Paul Smith, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
Of course, it was only a matter of time until Jean Grey popped back up from her grave like some redheaded toaster pastry to confront her coincidentally identical genetic clone:


Cover of X-Factor #38 (March 1989), cover art by Walt Simonson
Wow! They sneer alike, they walk alike, and in these two panels they even talk alike!


Panels from X-Factor #38 (February 1989), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Walt Simonson, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Petra Scotese, letters by Joe Rosen
I've deleted the next ten panels which consist of Jean and Maddie repeating "a distorted mirror" again and again until Wolverine stabs them both through the throat. (Oh, how the X-Men and X-Factor all laughed and laughed!) Instead, here's a completely literal and not at all symbolic page in which the Giant Floating Heads of Jean Grey and Maddie Pryor face off in a battle of wits including two senior citizens, their tiny selves, and a naked girl. (Wow, I am loving these special pieces in X-Men Monopoly!)



Of course, in her first appearance, we the readers were thrown off by the miscoloring of Maddie's hair. As she was not a redhead in this cameo, we of course didn't confuse her with anyone else in the Marvel Universe at all.


Panel segment from Avengers Annual #10 (1981), script by Chris Claremont, pencils and colors by Michael Golden, inks by Armando Gil, letters by Joe Rosen
Then she got better and became a redhead, and it was like looking in Jean Grey's mirror! Well, over her shoulder so you could see Jean while you were doing so. Um, if you were angled just right so that you couldn't see yourself in the mirror but you could see Jean just fine. Or maybe even better, it was like looking in Jean Grey's mirror if you were standing next to her while she was looking in at and you are a vampire! So, to sum up, Jubilee agrees with my undeniable proof that all redheads look alike.


Panels from Uncanny X-Men #238 (Late November 1988), script by I think you can guess who by this point, pencils by Marc Silvestri, inks by Dan Green, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski
All of which leads us full circle. If Mary Jane Watson = Red Sonja = Jean Grey, then we can wrap it up like this:


Panels from Marvel Knights Spider-Man #13 (late November 1988), script by Reginald Hudlin, pencils by Billy Tan, inks by Jonathan Sibal, colors by Ian Hannin, letters by Cory Petit
Wolverine luvvvvvvvvs Mary Jane Watson.

But not to worry! I mean, it's not like Logan has ever, ever made a move on somebody else's girl, right?




In Wolverine's favor, really, he probably just thought he was making out with Mystique or Siryn or Juggernaut. Because all redheads look alike. Isn't that right, Rachel Summers?

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 363: It'll behoove ya to care for Jonah's uvula

Splash page from Marvel Team-Up (1997 series) #2 (October 1997), script by Tom Peyer, breakdowns by Pat Olliffe, finishes by Al Milgrom, colors by Tom Smith, letters by Bill Oakley
Well, that's not the last time, but December 31 is coming soon, so as those band of happy moptops once sang, it's getting very near the end.

Today in Comics History: Spider-Man moons us

Splash page from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #79 (March 1979), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 352: That Christmas, Mrs. Weasley knitted Peter a sweater

Yesterday, we asked the musical question "Did Jonah actually double the five dollar Christmas bonuses for the Bugle staff as he promised?"


Panel from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #79 (March 1979), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
To quote Charles Dickens: he was better than his word. Or, maybe, just exactly the same as his word.

Tomorrow: More of the Twelve Christmas Bonuses of Jameson!

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 351: Jonah's office wall is made of solid milk chocolate

Remember yesterday's actual documentation that the standard J. Jonah Jameson Christmas bonus was five bucks? Here's the later-in-the-story callback in which he promises to increase that bonus by a factor of two!


Panels from Marvel Team-Up #106 (June 1981), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Diana Albers
Will Jonah keep his made-under-Scorpion-duress Christmas promise? We shall see.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 350: Hey, look! There's a fiver.

Please take note of how much J. Jonah Grincheson gives out for Christmas bonuses: a whoppin' half-a-sawbuck. Don't forget this: there will be a test over the next few days!


Panels from Marvel Team-Up #106 (June 1981), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Diana Albers

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 332: You see, Journalism? This is all we're asking for...

...to hold off the bad guys just long enough so that Spider-Man can leap through the window and punch him in the mouth!



Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #122 (October 1982), script by J. M. Dematteis, pencils by Kerry Gammill, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Diana Albers
(Also, to uphold truth, responsibility, and justice, but hey, whatever you can do that won't paint you as a historical collaborator is okay.)

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 313: And now, a look at the pajamas of J. Jonah Jameson

Despite my "Today in Comics History" feature, it's very seldom that we can tell exactly which date a comic book story takes place on. (Here's an exception.)

But my keen knowledge of pop culture, as well as sharp memories of when Mama Bull used to let me stay up late on Saturday nights to watch Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and ear-tuggin' Carol Burnett, I can definitely tell you that this comic story takes place on November 8, 1975! (I shouldn't be able to remember that, should I?)


Panel from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #116 (April 1982), script by J. M. Dematteis, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Diana Albers



Oh wait...it was a rerun?

...

Never mind.

But don't forget to get out and vote today!

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 300: Shut Yo Face

Panels from Marvel Team-Up #27 (November 1974), script by Len Wein, pencils by Jim Mooney, inks by Frank Giacoia and David Hunt, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 279: Spider-Man plays with his Marvel Action Figures

Splash page from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #55 (March 1977), script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Dave Hunt, colors by George Roussos, letters by Gaspar Saladino