365 Days of Defiance, Day 27: Drain the Swamp

Panels from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #68 (April 1978), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Phil Rachelson, letters by Bruce Patterson

Halloween Ten of a Kind: These are a few of my favorite Man-Things

(Whoever looks for more Ten of a Kind... eh, you know the rest.)

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 294

Panels from Marvel Two-in-One #1 (January 1974), script by Steve Gerber, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by George Roussos, letters by Jean Izzo

Arroooo: Man-Thing #10

Panel from Man-Thing v.1 #10 (October 1974), plot and pencils by Mike Ploog, script by Steve Gerber, inks by Frank Chiaramonte, colors by Linda Lessman, letters by Dave Hunt

365 Days with Ben Grimm: Day 102

Panel from Man-Thing v. 1 #21 (September 1975), script by Steve Gerber, pencils by Jim Mooney, inks by Jim Mooney, colors by Janice Cohen, letters by Joe Rosen

Forty candles in my heart will glow, for ever and ever, for I love you so

It's a special day here at Comics Oughta Be Fun, and that means we're not gonna post a silly panel of Ben Grimm doing something for our amusement. (Until later.) No, this is a momentous occasion for celebration, mirth, and drinking chocolate milkshakes (especially the milkshake part), because on this day was born...well, let's see, let's look at my birthday book...on this day was born the miniskirted Lois Lane of them all, Dana Delaney, and my favorite actor, William H. Macy, who delighted us so much with his star turns in Fargo and the television series Maude...but as much as I love 'em both, my heart today belongs to a man whose praises I must sing as he hits the big FOUR-OH, which in little stuffed bull years is as near to the grave as you can be and not be Boston Brand. I'm talking about that beautiful, brawny blogger we all know and love, the Michael with the mostest, Mister Mike Sterling of ProgressiveRuin.com. Happy birthday, Mike!

Now, everybody who knows anything about Mike, anybody who's read his blog for any amount of time or met the man in the legendary comic book store he works in, knows at least one important fact about Mike Sterling: the man is the world's biggest fan of that famous comic book swamp creature, the misunderstood monster within whom beats the heart of a gentle, loving man, but who has by circumstances and some abracadabering been transformed into a creature of grass and moss, of vines and leaves. A recluse who lives in his southern swamp, this creature nonetheless is one of the most important characters in his superhero universe. It's no wonder Mike Sterling is this hero's number one fan. Yes, folks, as we all know,

Mike Sterling loves Man-Thing!

Yup, it's true! Mike Sterling loves and adores Man-Thing above all over comic book characters. Why, here he is reading one of his favorite issues of his champion character!:


Corner Mike next time you see him and ask him to tell you all about Man-Thing! The guy loves to talk for hours about Ted Sallis's muck-encrusted alter-ego and his place in the modern Marvel Universe. Wanna have some fun? Pounce on Mike and ask him a series of fast-paced trivia questions about Man-Thing! Mike Sterling knows them all! You can't stump this guy on Man-Thing trivia!

As we're all aware, Mike is also a great fan of the paranormal and the unexplained. He enjoys the supernatural and often is caught scanning the skies for UFOs and other extraordinary objects! Mike is well-aware you may scoff at his extra-normal beliefs, but he will patiently tell you that there is no evidence at all that extraterrestrials did not visit us and build the Eiffel Tower! be sure to show him your assortment of blurry photographs of swamp balloons and weather gas...Mike wants to believe!

Mike is also a firm believer in the power of faith healing.


In fact, Mike is so involved in the world of healing by touch that he actually once ran a faith revival in order to bring the miracle of this work to the common people!


So be sure to tell him you too believe in this precious miracle by touching him in public. His touch with heal you!

Another thing I love about Mike Sterling: he's a huge fan of seeing his favorite comic book character fight a bear!


Oh, no, wait, that's Chris Sims. (Sorry.)

Mike's also got a soft spot for those who practice magic! Mike is often heard to declare: "Magic has got to be real...since we haven't seen it in public, that means it exists, because only wizards and witches could keep magic hidden from us so well!" You can't argue with logic like that!


Also, make sure you wish Mike a happy fortieth birthday by giving him one of the hidden handshakes of the many secret societies he belongs to! Just don't ask him which ones...coz he'll have to kill you!


Yes, Mike Sterling is a man of many interests and talents, and yet it all comes back to the guiding center of his life—his love for Man-Thing. Here's a special birthday video for you, Mike! I realize you know it all by heart since you're such a huge Man-Thing fanatic, but be sure to read along with the record!


Yes, it's just not a birthday celebration without Mike's special favorite pal Man-Thing hanging about! So, make sure you invite him to the birthday party!


And for your vegetarian guests, be sure to serve a festive birthday salad!


Why, when his favorite hero Man-Thing is around, Mike's birthday party is sure to be a smashing success!


And now, it's time to start Mike Sterling's 40th birthday party!:


Oh, wait, sorry. I captioned that wrong. Try this one!:


You always have to be careful when you're lighting up so many candles as Mike will have on his birthday cake, so...


Whoops, got a little bit out of control there. Luckily, we've got 40 more candles, and...


That'll happen when you're trying to get forty candles lit at once! Still, nothing that you can't fix with a little extra frosting and 40 more candles and...


Seriously, Mannie, maybe you ought to step aside and let somebody else try it this time...


Okay, Mike, we'll just have to go without the 40 candles on your cake this year. But now it's time to open your gifts. I got you something that I knew you'd love and adore, combining two of your favorite things in the world:

MAN-THING POGS!

So, join me in wishing a very Man-Thing birthday to the biggest fan of Man-Thing around, Mister Mike Sterling, and hope that he has a wonderful year ahead full of Man-Thing and all the joy that Man-Thing can bring to you in...

What?

What's that?

Swamp Thing?

Eh. The heck with him, then.

(Happy birthday, Mike!)

Man-Thing! You make my heart sing!

You kids today complaining that your Seven Soldiers or your Final Crisis or your Batman R.I.P. is too confusing and difficult to read...pfui. Why, in the good old days, we took the mind-boggling confusion that comic books dishes up for us and gobbled it up with butter and jam. Grant Morrison? Sure, he can write a comic book that throws in metacommentary, nanotechnology, fifties Batman stories and Jezebel Jade, but he's a mere piker compared to the master of gonzo superhero comics, the late great Steve Gerber, who tosses in everything including the kitchen sink...and a revolver-firing duck to boot. Don't believe me? Read and learn, o clueless ones!

Imagine this: The year is 1973, and NASA launches the last of America's deep-space probes. In a freak mishap Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William 'Buck' Rogers...oh wait, I've gotten mixed up again. The year is 1973, and on your local drugstore's comic rack you can find the premiere issue of one of Marvel's most unusual comic books: Man-Thing, who was aptly known as the "muck-crusted mockery of a man," even long before Michael Jackson tried to lay claim to that title. Hey! It says #1 on the front, so it must be the beginning of a brand new saga and storyline. Plunk down your 20 cents on the counter of Mister Gower's drugstore and run back home to the treehouse to peel open the fantastic Frank Brunner front cover, and prepare yourself...wait, no, you simply cannot prepare yourself...for the weirdness within:


All panels from Man-Thing #1 (January 1974), written by...oh, just look at the credits above, okay?

What...wha...huh? What the Sam Scratch is goin' on here? Maybe we've come in on the middle of issue two or three...



Nope. That's issue number one, all right! To be fair, this is continued on from Manny's feature in Adventure into Fear #19, but still, hoo-whee! That's one user-unfriendly first issue. Oh well, it oughta be easy to pick up as we go along...I mean, it's not like Gerber's gonna get too crazy in ish one, is he? Is he?

Okay, on page two we got a proto-He-Man and Howard the Duck springing into action...



Huh. Altho' it wouldn't premiere for more than another year, here's barbarian Korrek doing his Monty Python and the Holy Grail impersonation. It's only a flesh wound!



Well, that oughta be enough violence for everyone...until Howard the Duck starts firing a revolver!



I think, deep within each one of us, we've all heard a duck crying out "Why aren't you dead?"



Okay, if that's not enough, set the scene for an omniversal gathering of beings from across every reality. Yes, years before Chris Claremont got into the elderberry wine and was creating multiple Excaliburs (Excalibii?) getting together to have a lovely Sunday roast and watch the snooker on the telly, Steve Gerber brought together a host of warriors under the omniscient all-high-and-mighty Sylvania light bulb. Hey, wait on the female sacrifice until after the port and cigars, cavemen and cavaliers and Vikings and beekeepers!



Everybody who's anybody is there to greet the coming of the Overmaster. Not to be confused with the Ovenmaster (GE's new radial range for '74!), the Overmaster is jockeying to take control of all realities by murdering teenage bikinied Jennifer Kale, who is (I kid you not) Ghost Rider's cousin. Which Ghost Rider? Both of them. Lucky that flaming skulls don't seem to run in that branch of the family, I guess. In the meantime, the Overmaster is heralded on stage by a Twi'lek dancing girl. Well, beats workin' for Jabba, I guess:



Suddenly, for no apparent reason: Daredevil and Black Widow!



And...they're gone again. Let's give 'em a big hand, everyone...Daredevil and the Black Widow! (Yayyyyyyyy!)

Okay, obligatory Matt Murdock cameo out of the way. Turn the book sideways now as Steve-O gets everybody on stage for the big Cossack number:


Click picture to embiggen

Wow. Superheroes, knights, centaurs, dinosaurs, battle wagons, war elephants, fighter planes, shock troopers, and apparently John F. Kennedy's Dallas motorcade to the rescue. Oh, and hey, look, there's Man-Thing, too! I was wondering what happened to him.

How do you wrap a plot like this up? Well, Steve Gerber takes a page from Mission: Impossible and shows us that yes, even satanic demons wear rubber masks to disguise their features:




Then there's a mystical fight or something between Dumbledore and Voldemort. When the dust has settled, the Balance of the Force is restored and the Genesis Planet is no more. Oh, yes, the true gods of all reality are revealed...to be dogs:



So, there ya go, huh? Man-Thing #1. One. Freaky. Mamajama. Of a comic book. But, you know, I bet things will calm down by issue #2...there's not bound to be any exceptional weirdness in the second ish, is there?



...well, except for an alligator getting beaned with a cup of coffee.

Steve Gerber. Ya gotta love him. The comics world is all the poorer without his way-out wacky worlds.