Today in Comics History: If it ain't one thing, it's Hulk's mother

Panel from The Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #402 (February 1993), script by Peter David, pencils by Jan Duursema, inks by Tom Wegrzyn, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Joe Rosen

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 362: The Fuppets Take Manhattan

It's those lazy crazy hazy days between Christmas and New Year's when we don't have to go back to school yet but we've already broken all our holiday toys* (not me, I'm really careful with 'em, altho I've eaten all my stocking candy), and if you're anything like me, you're bored and want a project to occupy your hooves. Well, I've dug my way into Bully's Comics Vault and come up with an issue of Crazy, the House of Idea's second-tier parody magazine for when you couldn't find MAD at the newsstand. Mind you, even if Crazy isn't as acclaimed as its Distinguished Competition, they did have a decent bullpen of writers and artists. This ish contains stuff written or drawn by Marv Wolfman, Bobby London, Mike Ploog, Bob Foster, Marie Severin, John Buscema, and even Jack Kirby's Fin Fang Foom reprinted with new humorous dialogue by Christopher Priest aka Jim Owsley!

Crazy also occasionally featured do-it-yourself shoebox puppet theaters and finger puppets called Fuppets, for clever portmanteau purposes as well as please-don't-sue-us copyright reasons. And it co-stars J. Jonah Jameson, who I know you've been dying to put your fingers up inside of! Dig out your own copy of Crazy #73 (I know you've got one somewhere), get out your paste and scissors (or have an adult get out paste and scissors for you) so you can make the whole shebang! (I'm only reposting a few pages from it, but you get the general DIY idea.)


Panels from "The Fabulous Fuppets Starring in the Spider-Man Television Theatre" in Crazy Magazine #73 (April 1981), script by Steve Skeates, puppet art by John Romita, Sr., props and scenery art by Ron Zalme
The feature provides it all: finger puppets Fuppets™...


...props...yes, that is an iron lung to put Aunt May into!


...several switchable backdrops for real shoebox action!...


...scripts, with dialogue punched up by David Mamet...


But best of all, here's the two-page how-to-do-it comic segment that gives us the groundbreaking Marvel Team-Up of J. Jonah Jameson and the Incredible Hulk! JONAH WILL SMASH!



So don't just sit there and read comic books on your Christmas vacation: take JJJ's advice and go out and make stuff! Alternate Christmas vacation activity: just sit there and read comic books.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 334: Please return your Hulk to his original upright position

Whoa, the Hulk is attacking JFK Airport! Let's hope he stays away from the fabulous Terminal 5, featuring an actual Muji store!


Panels from The Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #152 (June 1972), script by Gary Friedrich and Steve Englehart, pencils by Herb Trimpe and Dick Ayers, inks by Frank Giacoia, colors by Mimi Gold, letters by Artie Simek
Good thing he brought Peter Parker, ace photographer, with him to take photos of...oh.


Panels from The Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #153 (July 1972), script by Roy Thomas and Gary Friedrich, pencils by Dick Ayers and Herb Trimpe, inks by John Severin, colors by Michele Wolfman, letters by Jean Izzo

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 300: Shut Yo Face

Panels from Marvel Team-Up #27 (November 1974), script by Len Wein, pencils by Jim Mooney, inks by Frank Giacoia and David Hunt, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 280: Green Journalism

"What If the Incredible Hulk Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Spider?" from Wha...Huh? one-shot (2005), script by Mark Waid and Tom Peyer, pencils and inks by Jim Mahfood, colors by Shaughn Struble, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 184: Foggy Nelson amazes all the attending audience with astounding alliteration

Panels from The Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #279 (January 1983), script by Bill Mantlo, layouts by Mark Gruenwald, finishes by Greg LaRocque, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Janice Chiang

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 54: Jonah is so cheap (how cheap is he?) that he only invested in a square television

Panels from Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #346 (August 1988), script by Peter David, layouts by Todd McFarlane, pencils by Erik Larsen, inks by Jim Sanders III, colors by Petra Scotese, letters by Joe Rosen

Today in Comics History: Hulk's "Christmas in New Mexico" TV variety show is not a success

Panels from Spider-Man 2099 (2014 series) #10 (May 2015), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Will Sliney, colors by Antonio Fabela, letters by Joe Caramagna

Today in Comics History: Nick Fury and Bruce Banner play a game of "Horrifying Trivial Pursuit"

Panels from Incredible Hulk (2000 series) #89 (January 2006), script by Daniel Way, pencils and inks by Keu Cha, colors by William Murai, letters by Randy Gentile

Comics News for March 31, 2015

Top: from "Savage Animal Fury!" in Cartoon Network Presents #4 (November 1997), script by Michael Kupperman,
pencils and inks by Bill Alger, colors by Dave Tanguay, letters by Phil Felix
Middle: from "Rosie and Red Russia!" in Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #210 (April 1977), script by Len Wein,
breakdowns by Sal Buscema, finishes by Ernie Chan, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza
Bottom: from "Amazing Ratios" in Strange Adventures #60 (September 1955), script by Julius Schwartz, artist uncredited

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 25: Not Actually the Incredible Hulk

Dilton Doiley: student; scientist; nerd: searching for a way to tap into the acceptance of his teenage peers. Then: an accidental overdose of grape radiation alters his body chemistry! Now when Dilton Doiley grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs! The creature is driven by rage and wanted for a pantsing he didn't commit. Dilton Doiley is believed to be a nerd, and he must let the world think that he is a nerd, until he can find a way to control the Incredible Bulk that dwells within him!



Panels from "Return of the Bulk!" in Archie & Friends #63 (January 2003), script by Mike Pellowski (?), pencils and inks by Rex Lindsey (?)
Of course, by the time Hollywood got hold of the Incredible Bulk story, they just had to meddle with it and change a few things about the character, which just enraged the fanboy populace.


Panel from "Body Image" in Betty and Veronica Double Digest #204 (October 2012), script by George Gladir, pencils by Jeff Shultz, inks by Henry Scarpelli, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Today in Comics History: Happy birthday, puny Banner

Panels from New Avengers (2013 series) #23 (October 2014), script by Jonathan Hickman, pencils and inks by Kevin Walker, colors by Frank Martin, letters by Joe Caramagna

Bear Attack! Month 2014, Day 17: ROBOBEAR SMASH!

Panels from The Incredible Hulk (2011 series) #10 (August 2012), script by Jason Aaron, pencils and inks by Tom Raney, colors by Frank Martin, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

Today in Comics History: HULK SMASH GEORGE THIRD!

Variant cover of Indestructible Hulk #11 (September 2013), art by Michael Del Mundo

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 109: The Leader's Plastic Replica of the Hulk

It's a plastic replica of the Hulk.


Splash page from "To Live Again!" in Tales to Astonish #70 (August 1965), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Art Simek
A PLASTIC MODEL OF THE HULK.


Not to be confused with this Hulk plastic model.

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 107: The US Army's Sunday Punch Super-Missile (M1-472)

Welcome to the Atomic Age...and that Trajectile to Astonish, the Sunday Punch Missile!


Panel from "To Live Again!" in Tales to Astonish #70 (August 1965), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek
The Sunday Punch Missile launches copies of the 1942 MGM film of the same name at its target, thus bombing them...with a capital B (for B-movie). General "Thunderbolt" Ross and Major Glenn "Betty's Second Choice" Talbot have launched it...well, not at the Hulk, but at one of the Leader's giant plastic behemoth super-robots! Still, I'm betting they won't be too broken up if the Hulk gets blown into teeny-weeny green pieces at the same time. It's two for the price of one at Gamma Savings Days! Everybody wins!


Splash page from "Like a Beast at Bay!" in Tales to Astonish #72 (September 1965), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek
To paraphrase Mr. Slim Shady:

Please don't drop bomb on Hulk
Major Talbot, please don't drop the bomb Hulk
Drop bomb on them
I don't want no doggone beef
See? Ain't no reason to sick dogs on Hulk
Drop bomb on 'em
Please don't drop bomb on Hulk!

Yes, it's the Marvel Universe's United States Army. When you absolutely, positively have to drop a big-ass atomic bomb in your own country.


Luckily, we're told, the Sunday Punch does not spread radioactivity: it simply bombs the poop of things. Wait a minute, why has the Army never used another one of these things? Why wouldn't they just launch it at the caves with Osama bin Laden-616? Or, at the very least, the Skrulls. Did you guys forget how to make this thing?

Luckily, the Hulk uses the blast of the bomb to jump into the upper atmosphere, high enough to see the curvature of the earth, and then falls back to the ground without suffering any major reentry burning or freezing of his and Rick's lungs, because comic books.


In the 1966 Hulk cartoon series, the Sunday Punch Missile (at minute 4:02) is mistakenly referred to as "M-472" (it's missing 1 1: "M1-472") and is colored red, white, and blue. It's the Captain Americmissile!


It also features the greatest overacting ever in the Marvel Super Heroes series—stick around for the last couple lines of the episode.

So, to conclude: Sunday Punch!

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 100: Bruce Banner's T-Gun

What is...the T-Gun?!?


Panel from "Not All My Power Can Save Me!" in Tales to Astonish #75 (January 1966), script by Stan Lee, layouts by Jack Kirby, finishes by Mike Esposito, letters by Sam Rosen
Wow! Whatever it is, it's big. Oh, that's it! The "T" must stand for...titanic!

Anyway, in a twist (hey, the T must stand for...twist!), Bruce Banner's mysterious T-Gun is used to target (hey, the T must stand for...target!)...the Incredible Hulk! Hey, the T must stand for...THE!


Here comes the countdown! Five! Four! Three! Hey, the T must stand for...three! Two! Hey, the T (gets strangled off camera)


YES, GENERAL ROSS, SHOOT AN UNKNOWN GUN DIRECTLY AT THE WHITE HOUSE.

And that (hey!...), ladies and gentlemen, is the last anyone ever saw of the Incredible Hulk. The End! (Hey!...)


And so, along with the Hulk, Washington DC was destroyed, and no one ever saw it again.


Well, seeing as the Hulk has been sent through time to the future and displaced in in time, we'll never be able to know what the "T" stands for in this time-shooting gun that moved Hulk forward in time. Just as a guess, I think that the "T" must stand for...TALES TO ASTONISH!

Or, possibly, television cartoon!


Marvel Super Heroes: The Incredible Hulk in "Terror of the T Gun" (November 23, 1966)

Ta-Ta!

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 97: Nightshade's Hulk Head-Hurter*

You might underestimate the supervillain Nightshade because she wears a black leather bikini, but she's actually, as the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe tells us, "an extraordinary genius, and extensively self-taught in genetics, biochemistry, cybernetics, robotics and physics. She also obtained a doctoral degree from an undisclosed university while in prison." Hmm, just call her Doctor Nightshade.


Panels from Marvel Team-Up Annual #3 (1980); script by Roger Stern; pencils by Herb Trimpe; inks by Mike Esposito, Al Milgrom, Bruce Patterson, Dave Humphrys, and Joe Rubinstein, colors by John Costanza, letters by Ken Klaczak

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 72: Reed Richards' Coffee-Maker

Well, whaddaya know! Reed did make a coffee maker!


Panel from Giant-Size Super-Stars #1 (May 1974), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Rich Buckler, inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek
I'm so sorry that I ever doubted you, Ben.

World's Most Ironically Designed Military Base

Panel from Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #157 (November 1972), script by Archie Goodwin, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Sal Trapani, letters by Jean Izzo
Seeing as it was conceived and headed by Hulk-hater General "Thunderbolt" Ross, we can be pretty certain he really didn't get the irony of his design! Here's a cool blueprint/map of Project Greenskin.

 
Panel from Incredible Hulk (1968 series) #145 (November 1972), artist and designer unknown