Showing posts with label Charlton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Charlton. Show all posts

Thursday, December 01, 2016

That Time David Cassidy Almost Got Sued by Walt Disney

Charlton Comics! They were the Avis Car Rentals of the comic book industry, because just as Avis said "We're Number Two...we try harder!", Charlton's motto should have been, "We're Number Eight!...behind Marvel, DC, Archie, Harvey, Gold Key, Kitchen Sink, Warren...wait, we forgot Atlas Seaboard and Skywald..."

Anyway, Charlton was the little company that tried harder, expanding its line in the 1970s with a number of licensed comics (i.e., the one Western/Gold Key didn't want anymore) and media tie-ins. Never forget that Charlton not only had a comic book but also a magazine of NBC-TV's Emergency! (the groundbreaking series that introduced exclamation points to network television, for which What's Happening!! and Sledge Hammer!! would forever be grateful). Holy cow, though, that's some great art by...Joe Staton and Neal Adams? Whoa, Charlton, nice talent!


Cover of Emergency [comic] #2 (August 1976), painted art by Joe Staton;
Cover of Emergency [magazine] #1 (July 1976), painted art by Neal Adams

Naw, I kids the Charlton Comic Group, because despite their eventual 1980s out-of-business-ness, they really were throwing pretty much everything up against the wall to see what stuck, including attempt to reach young audiences with series that'd appeal to teens like its comic The Partridge Family, based on the very popular ABC-TV sitcom, and its spin-off comic David Cassidy, spotlighting the romantic misadventures of the teen idol star of The Partridge Family! I'm not certain any other comic book company would have done this at the same time. Why that would be like Marvel giving us a Black Widow comic book and also a monthly Scarlett Johansson series. (Say...!)


Cover of The Partridge Family #13 (November 1972), pencils and inks by Don Sherwood;
Cover of David Cassidy #2 (March 1972), photo cover

Everybody loved David Cassidy as Keith Partridge, the real-life stepson of TV mom Shirley Jones as Shirley Partridge. And if we know David's middle name, we can see what he has in common with another with another popular 1970s TV character! Oh, if only Charlton could have then published a companion comic for The Hardy Boys Mysteries and the accompanying Shaun Cassidy comic to feature the life and loves of David's half-brother, it wouyld have truly been The Age of Cassidy Comics!

Here's one of the typical exploits of David Cassidy, and see if you can spot any of the tiny, almost imperceptible copyright infringement attempts made in the story, okay?


Panel from "A Date with David" in David Cassidy #2 (March 1972); pencils, inks, and letters by Sururi Gumen

Note: the "Malibu" song appears to be fictional, despite my many Google attempts to fidn out if it was a real song. Let's just pretend he was singing this classic radio hit instead, shall we?


Please count the number of times the word "chick" is used to indicate a woman in this story. I hope you have enough fingers! David's TV mom Shirley Jones should not be involved in David's sex life, and yet there she is, while David attracts women like flies. ("So that's why all his women look like flies!" wisecracks TV brother Danny Bonaduce.) Intent on making sure David doesn't score (because helping him do that would be just wrong even for a stepmother), Shirley sets up David with Vicky, The Small Wonder young pre-teen Carrie Scott, who has the teeth of Squirrel Girl but is polite enough not to mention Shirley Jones's clown makeup.


While David asks Carrie out of a "date" (and I'm gonna keep putting it in quotes), ani-gals strike curious poses around him, trying to attract his attention like the unnamed female foreground figures in an Archie story. It's no good, girls, he only has eyes for Carrie.


Forget everything you might think about a twenty-two year old guy taking a pre-teen out on a "date," I'm sure it's all on the level and...wait, they're going unaccompanied by a chaperone? And they're going to live out David's "fantasy land?" AIEEEEE STOP IT COMIC


Oh, whew, it's just a thinly disguised version of what could be any other possible generic theme park that might happen to be located right there in Anaheim, California, located directly at 1313 Disneyland Drive Main Street. And then Barney Rubble appears which makes me think maybe David should not have partaken of the wacky weed before driving a car with a kid in it.


Oh, well, sure, a theme park with a big castle at the center of it is sure to have meet and greets with popular cartoon characters that all the kids love:


I'm sure Charlton just chose those characters by completely random choice out of a hat for their completely casual, uncalculated guest appearances.


It's off next to popular iconic park rides like "The Spinners" and "The Flying Farm Tour." Here they are, and just to be able to picture them in real life, I've included some completely fictional made-up photoshopped images of what they might possibly look like if they were based on real tourist attractions, rather than being the completely original creations of Charlton Comics.



Hey, how about a leisurely cruise on an old-timey riverboat, perhaps named after a famous nineteenth-century American figure all the kids love, like Herman Melville or William Jennings Bryan?



Ooooh, spooky! A haunted...estate, or dwelling, or if you will...manor.



Later, at the combination Mule Ride/Balloon Exhibit, swinging chicks gather to watch the hot burro action!


Suddenly: Susan! And Debbie, and Carol, and Bernadette, and I'm betting the hippie girl is named "Sunflower" or "Freedom" or possibly "Chastity" or something like that...naw, that'd be too ridiculous a name to give your daughter in the 1970s.


Carrie is not pleased. And if you've read your classic '70s literature, you know that when Carrie is unhappy, people die.


But David's a cool dude with a nice 'tude after all, if we might be permitted to use some slang from the eighties ten years earlier. He palms off to Carrie a 8x10 glossy photograph of himself, signed earlier by Reuben Kincaid, as a memento of "one of the nicest dates that David Cassidy ever had with any chick." Later, Carrie became an activist for the ERA and threw this photograph in the trash, but who are we to cast an ugly shadow on what was pretty creepy all along?


Immediately afterwards, David burnt rubber back to Fantasyland and had himself the best night of his life with all those swinging chicks. What do you think of that, Shirley Jones?


Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Today in Comics History: Crab hired as new HR Director


Panels from "Pity Poor Pisces..." in Sweethearts (Charlton 1954 series) #116 (May 1971), pencils by Art Cappello, inks by Charles Nicholas, with Keuffel & Esser Leroy lettering

Saturday, March 01, 2014

Not pictured: Mac Tonight #1

You know, I'm fully aware that this character is a shill for horrible, terrible food, but Ronald McDonald's 1971 Charlton comic is actually kind of cute.


Cover of Ronald McDonald #3 (Charlton Comics, January 1971), pencils and inks by Bill Yates

It's a Ronald who's off-model from the usual advertising icon, and they've put him in whatever town it is that the Peanuts Kids live in!


Panel from Ronald McDonald #3 (Charlton Comics, January 1971), pencils and inks by Bill Yates

It's extremely suitable for young kids, as it features no burger evangelism (Ronald's daytime job is never even mentioned in the comic stories) and some extremely gentle humor for the young 'uns.


And: a guest appearance from Dennis Mitchell!


It also features Ronald's haunting dramatization of the tragic ballad The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzbergald!


Yes, the rather cute and innocuous Ronald McDonald comic book. It's actually very charming from front to back cover and


Back cover pin-up from Ronald McDonald #3

AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Today in Comics History: Secret Squirrel and associate crack the Case of the Zodiac Killer


Panels from "Pity Poor Pisces..." in Sweethearts (Charlton 1954 series) #116 (May 1971), pencils by Art Cappello, inks by Charles Nicholas, with Keuffel & Esser Leroy lettering

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Hey Girls, More Comics!

In sharp relief with the Lois Lane ad I posted earlier, which is cluelessly misogynistic (but I imagine not intentionally meant to be hurtful to anyone)...take a big steaming gander or goose at this one-page gag (accent on the gag) humor strip from a Charlton romance title:


"Mannequins" from Just Married #107 (September 1975), creators unknown

Geez, wow. Even Reggie Mantle is never that much of a complete jerk.

Shame on you, comic that was made for girls in the first place.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen...Mister Buck Owens!

Hey, everybody! Let's get our our crayons again because this time we're gonna color country music superstar and legend Buck Owens!


From Hee Haw #1 (July 1970), art by Frank Roberge


What? There was a comic book based on Hee Haw? The CBS (then syndicated for two decades) down-home country comedy variety hour set in the fictional Kornfield Kounty? Why, yes. And not just for one issue, but for seven...bringing us country-fried comic book comedy from the good ol' boys at Charlton Comics. (oh, c'mon—who else woulda published this?)

But 'round about now you may be having some problems coloring Buck Owens because you don't know what he looks like in real life. Well, let me help you little 'uns there. Right here's a gen-u-ine photgraphical picture of Mister Buck Owens in all his sartorial splendor, so you can see him in real life an' all. It's straight out of the comical book, too! (Okay, I promise to stop talking like this.)



So get out your grey, black, and white crayons, and get to work? What's that? My goodness, I never heard so much squawkin' from y'all since the chickens got ahold of the truck keys and headed on down to the Country Roadhouse Bar. (No, seriously, I will stop talking cornpone any minute now, promise.) Well, for those of you who have those new-fangled color tellyvisions and comic books, here's the way Mr. Owens oughter be colored, just like he is in this here cartoon. Ladies and gentlemen...Buck Owens!



Yup, that's about the type of humor you're gonna get on Hee Haw, broad, slapstick, and...dare I say it...corny. Take it away, Hee Hawwers!

(Click picture to farm-subsid-size)


Yup. That..............'s about the size of that. Still, it's easy to mock Hee Haw because of its redneck country humor. Go ahead! I'll be right here while you do!:



Um, yeah. Grant Morrison, this ain't. But Hee Haw the comic book has a certain goofy charm, and while you can poke fun at the TV show, you can't fault it for one of its great achievements: long before CMT or The Nashville Network and way before American Idol, it brought the great stars of country/western music to your television once in a week. And I do mean great stars:

Johnny Cash! (video opens in a new window)



Tanya Tucker (14 years old in this appearance!)



Charley Pride!



Kenny Rogers!



Chet Atkins!



Dolly Parton!



Queen of Rockabilly Wanda Jackson!


And of course...ladies and gentlemen...Mister Buck Owens!



Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Our Animal Pals: "Hey, Where's Perry?"

Okay, everybody, you know the lyrics, sing along!:



Here come the animals
You'd better hide
They're going to stampede
(boom boom)
Hey, there's a monkey
Watch where you step
I think he's just peed


Tonight, on another exciting installment of "Our Animal Pals" (as seen in comic books throughout history), we spotlight...a freak of nature? Awww, is that any way to talk about our pal, the Voltron of the natural world, the platypus? (No. No, it is not, Charlton Comics. In retaliation, we will sell your characters to National Periodicals and later turn Captain Atom into a galactic super-tyrant. Justice...for the platypus...is served!)

Blue Beetle v.2 #1
"Freaks of Nature!" from Blue Beetle v.2 #1 (June 1964), writer and artist unknown


So, ladies and gentlemen: the platypus. The Platypus.

Next time on "Our Animal Pals": either the baby kangaroo, or a giant mouse. We haven't figured out which one it is yet.


Friday, December 03, 2010

Steve Austin vs. a Crocodile!

No, no, not "Stone Cold" Steve Austin...sorry, wrestling fans...but actually Colonel Steve Austin, the Twenty-Six and a Half Million Dollar Man (adjusted for inflation).

The Six Million Dollar Man #4
Cover of The Six Million Dollar Man #4 (December 1976), cover art by Jack Sparling


Oh, sure, we all remember when Steve fought Bionic Bigfoot and the Fembots. (That great alt-rock band of the mid-seventies). But have we ever seen The Man with the Scientific Kung-Fu Grip battle an actual crocodile? No, we have not. Hey, and he'd better get there quick, because apparently that cold-blooded reptile is stalking a Disney Princess! Better sing your longing song quick, princess!

The Six Million Dollar Man #4
Pages from The Six Million Dollar Man #4 (December 1976), script by Joe Gill; pencils, inks, and letters by Joe Staton, except for: inks by Jack Sparling on Steve's face throughout, colors by Wendy Fiore


Will be be in time to prevent the Princess? It's pretty tense even when we can't hear that familiar neh-neh-neh-neh-neh of Dr. Rudy Wells's patented steam-powered bionics in action!




But don't be too worried, folks! All of Colonel Austin's dangerous underwater stunts are actually performed by Hollywood stuntman Colt Seavers! (He's been seen with Farrah, too.)

The Six Million Dollar Man #4


YEE-HAW! Ride 'em, Cyborg!

The Six Million Dollar Man #4


And now we find out that this crocodile infested sea is in...the desert? What the heck, Charlton Comics? I call shenanigans on that! But, hey, Steve always gets the girl...even if she does have eggs instead of ears.

The Six Million Dollar Man #4


Ummm, maybe the guys with the rifles could have done something about that crocodile? Huh, guys? Or was it your hookah break? Well, you can't blame them for slackin' off, seeing as their sun is going supernova behind them.

So there you go. Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man, our country's most advanced human/cyborg weapon, is a powerful deterrent against the invasion of aquatic reptiles. Put that in your report and toss it on Oscar Goldman's desk without checking in with his secretary Peggy Callahan first, huh? Now that's a real man's man! Betcha NBC's Saturday night spin-off bionictress Jaime Sommers couldn't fight a big aquatic beast...

The Bionic Woman #2


Oh. Wow. I...I stand corrected, Ms. Sommers.