366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 360: There's No Place Like Jonah's for the Holidays

Previously on Spider-Man's Tangled Web: On Christmas Eve, Peter Parker (secretly the Amazing Spid...oh, you know that part)...has rescued a passel of Japanese schoolkids, but then, having to rush out into the night, as he does (whatever a spider can), he leaves the kids behind with Betty Brant in the Daily Bugle office. Meanwhile, a big-ass Christmas snowstorm is a-blowin' into New York City. S'alright? S'alright. And now...


Panels from Spider-Man's Tangled Web #21 (February 2003), script and inks by Darwyn Cooke, pencils by Jay Bone, colors by Matt Hollingsworth, letters by Paul Tutrone
Jonah + Kids = trouble, right here in New York City, which begins with "N" and that rhymes with "bullpen" and that stands for...well, it rhymes with "newspapermen," but I'm not certain how to finish the song from there. Needless to say, there's both trouble and cuteness ahoy! Crouble? No, tuteness.


The Bumper Book of Humor Writing that I got today under the Christmas tree (thanks Santa!) tells me that one of the first rules of laughs is opposites are funny! So, pair a rusty, grizzly, grumpy old Jonah with cute adorable tiny tots and what do you get? That's comedy, my friends! Also: Pissed-Off Betty Brant™, which is one of the all-time greatest action figure variants.


Jonah tells the kids a story. Guess who's the hero in this one?! It's our old pal and star of many Marvel Comic books, the Amazing Spider-Slayer!. Except I imagine even JJJ censored the name of that particular character in his tale. I'm guessing we're looking at the Adventures of J. Jonah Jameson, The Sensational Spider-Hugger!


Meanwhile, Spider-Man and the Inhuman named Medusa (the hero who could never be an important part of a sensible Marvel Universe) are battling it out in the Toy Department at Macy's, no doubt wrecking Santaland and frightening Crumpet the Elf into a much more sedate essay-writing career. JJJ gets the kids into their cute li'l coats 'n' mittens to take 'em to Macy's to watch Spidey getting his butt beat (by a girl with sentient hair, at that!). It's events like that which drove the crowds to Macy's and ran Gimbel's out of business. You're a business menace, Peter Parker!


Tonight's very pecial Christmas Eve Guest Stars, singing "All I Want For Christmas Is Groo...t": the Fantastic Four Three! Well, it's entirely possible Sue Storm is already there but invisible, though I doubt that: J. Bone and Darwyn Cooke would not pass up a chance to draw the curviest of the FF! (If you don't count H.E.R.B.I.E.)


Turns out Macy's Santa is really the Puppet Master and making Medusa and Spidey yadda yadda yadda, and it's a Christmas Fulla Crying Tots, just like the ones we used to know!


Then, in an action-packed summary-stuffed double-page spread, they all head over to Jonah and Marla's apartment for a Christmas party, and Jonah gives Peter the very finest Christmas bonus of all the ones we've seen so far: he's bused in Aunt May and Mary Jane all the way from Queens. It wasn't an express bus and they had to wait for twenty minutes to catch a transfer in Roosevelt Island, but they're here.

(Click picture to Christmas dinner second-helping-size)
And a very happy holiday was had by all at the Christmas party by everyone except Betty Brant, who was rescued by...let's say...Willie Lumpkin.


Happy holidays to all! (And we miss you, Darwyn!)

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 346: C'mon Get Happy

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #18 (November 1964); plot, script, and pencils by Steve Ditko, script by Stan Lee, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 333: With Great Power There Must Come Great Jerkiness

Panels from Startling Stories: The Megalomaniacal Spider-Man one-shot (June 2002); script, pencils, inks, and letters by Peter Bagge; colors by Laura Allred

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 331: The first rule of journalism: Ignore Jonah

Panels from Peter Parker: Spider Man (1999 series) #4 (April 1999), script by Howard Mackie, pencils by Bart Sears, inks by Scott Hanna, colors by Mark Bernardo, letters by Liz Agraphiotis

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 321: Around about that time the photographer stopped paying attention to Jonah

Panels from Spectacular Spider-Man (2003 series) #14 (July 2004), script by Paul Jenkins, painted art by Paolo Rivera, letters by Cory Petit

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 318: Betty vs. Veronica Jonah

Panels from Ultimate Comics [All-New] Spider-Man #6 (March 2012), script by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils and inks by Chris Samnee, colors by Justin Ponsor, letters by Cory Petit

Today in Comics History: Lame follow-up to Dark Reign is published

Page from Daily Bugle #3 (February 1997); script by Paul Grist; pencils by Karl Kerschl; inks by Greg Adams, Al Milgrom, and Chris Ivy; letters by Sue Crespi and John Constanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 283: C'mon Get Happy

Panels from Spider-Man: Chapter One #12 (October 1999); script, pencils, and letters by John Byrne; inks by Al Milgrom; colors by Joe Rosas

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 282/Today in Comics History: This could never happen in these enlightened times

Page from Daily Bugle #1 (December 1996), script by Paul Grist, pencils by Karl Kerschl, inks by Greg Adams, letters by Jim Novak
Speaking of pretty good, often-overlooked J. Jonah Jameson stories, the 1996 miniseries The Daily Bugle is a lovely short series focusing on the journalists of that fine metropolitan newspaper, with nary an appearance by our friendly neighborhood web-slinger. It's about as real as Marvel Comics get, including that issue of Punisher: War Journal where Frank had to wait in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles for a whole issue.


Cover of Daily Bugle #1 (December 1996), pencils by Karl Kerschl, inks by Greg Adams
Like your local newspaper somewhere back in the twentieth century, the whole series is in glorious black and white, which gives it a cool-real noir look. And the script's by Paul Grist — I like his comics artwork a lot, especially Doctor Who and St. Swithin's Day, as well as being the writer and artist on the absolutely wonderful Jack Staff. Artwork here is by Karl Kerschl and Greg Adams:



As far as I know, The Daily Bugle #1-3 have never been collected into a trade, and I'm not sure if they're currently on Marvel Unlimited. But this little stuffed comics guy gives the miniseries two hooves up, and they're well worth hunting down in the back issue boxes of your local comic book shop. Tell 'em J. Jonah Jameson sent you, and also demand photographs of Spider-Man!

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 265: I missed prom, I missed it to spin / I did a shift for Jonah and I would do it again

Panels from Webspinners: Tales of Spider-Man #9 (September 1999), script by Joe Kelly, pencils by Andy Smith, inks by Mark Pennington, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Benchmark Productions

Today in Comics History: Betty Brant demands publication of Spider-Woman, Spider-Gwen, and Silk comic books

Panel from Year in Review: Spider-Man one-shot (February 2000), text by Frank Dunkerley, designed by John Roshell and Eric Eng Wong

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 194: He was making out like Charlie Sheen / He was a genius

Panels from "Electrical Problems" in Spider-Man Family #3 (August 2007), script by Paul Tobin, pencils and inks by Pierre Alary, colors by John Paul Fernandez, letters by Nate Piekos

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 172: Maximum PWNage

Panels from Spider-Man Unlimited #21 (August 1998), script by Christopher Golden, pencils by Mike Deodato, Jr., inks by Joe Pimentel, colors by John Kalisz, letters by Jack Morelli

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 170: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #14 (July 1964), script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by Steve Ditko, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 127: '"Hey Jonah!" "OH YEAH!"

"A Day at the Daily Bugle" pin-up from Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5 (November 1968), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Larry Lieber and John Romita Sr., inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek and Morrie Kuramoto

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 123: Untold Tales of Peter Parker's Puberty

Panels from Untold Tales of Spider-Man #2 (October 1995), script by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Pat Olliffe, inks by Al Vey and Pam Eklund, colors by Steve Mattsson, letters by Richard Starkings

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 70: Jonah gets his carpets from the same store as Scrooge McDuck

"Peter Parker's Favorite Heel and Heart-Throb," pin-up page from Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 (October 1964), script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by Steve Ditko, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 64: People think that Peter Parker really liked the movie Rashomon, but that's not the way he remembers it.

Hey, it's one of those newfangled Spot the Difference pair of pictures all the kids and grandparents seem to love today! First, memorize this important scene from a classic issue of Ditko-Era Spider-Man:


Panel from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #15 (August 1964), script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by Steve Ditko, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek
Now, compare it to this flashback from a Spider-Man 1980s graphic novel and spot the differences!


Panel from Marvel Graphic Novel: Amazing Spider-Man: Parallel Lives graphic novel (May 1989), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Alex Saviuk, inks by Andy Mushynsky, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Rick Parker
Well, a missing vest, a yellow vest, a misremembered supervillain, an Infantino ceiling, a whiter hairline, a red Swatch, at least two things remain the same: a bar of chocolate probably left over from World War II, and Betty Brant's Joker-inspired grin.

And just what the Sam Scratch is this little knick-knack in 64' JJJ's office supposed to be?



Aieee! That thing's scary. No wonder Peter blanked out most of the memories of that moment.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 41: See, we told you earlier that February 10 was an exciting day

Panels from "Who Is the White Tiger?" in Deadly Hands of Kung Fu (1974 magazine series) #22 (March 1976), script by Bill Mantlo, breakdowns by Keith Giffen, finishes by Rico Rival, letters by Karen Mantlo

Today in Comics History: Newspaper promises exciting day, fair weather, mysterious front-page-sized ghost of White Tiger

Splash page from "Who Is the White Tiger?" in Deadly Hands of Kung Fu (1974 magazine series) #22 (March 1976), script by Bill Mantlo, breakdowns by Keith Giffen, finishes by Rico Rival, letters by Karen Mantlo
Say, are you wondering what that text below the "Rooftop Battle with Prowler" headline is all about? I couldn't locate a record of the (likely New York City) newspaper it's taken from, but you may note it mentions John O'Donahue, a cop moonlighting as a boxer. Sound familiar? Yep: that's the same guy who played Sgt. Eddie Gibson on NYPD Blue, so hopefully that helps you complete your "Six Degrees of Spider-Man" link to Jimmy Smits. Want to read more? (Sure, we all do!) Here's a few articles (1, 2, 3) on John O'Donahue. Who says this isn't the Pugalistic Period of Bully Probing...um, Research?