A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 31: Bang Bang, My Batman Shot Me Down

Let's wrap up A Month of...Batman's Got a Gun with Batman and the ultimate gun...a KirbyGun. Darkseid used it to shoot Orion, and Batman's gonna use it right back. I don't know what kind of Apokoliptan bullet that super-science pistol packs, but I betcha anything firing it is going to be accompanied by Kirby Krackle. Heck, even if it was a bubble gun it'd shoot Kirby Krackle. Shoot 'im, Batman! shoot 'im! This one we don't object to!


Panels from Batman #702 (October 2010), script by Grant Morrison, pencils and inks by Tony Daniel, colors by Ian Hannin, letters by Travis Lanham
So, we've seen Batman with a gun thirty-one times this month, and what have we learned, Charlie Brown gentle reader? The truth is, no matter how many handguns Batman's hoisting, more often than not he doesn't have a gun. Like 7Up and caffeine, he's never had 'em, never will. Why, he'll even use janitorial equipment before he picks up a Smith & Wesson!



Panels from Batman: Shadow of the Bat #60 (March 1997), script by Alan Grant, pencils by Dave Taylor, inks by Stan Woch, colors by Pam Rambo, color separations by Android Images, letters by Bill Oakley
If I take anything from this sampling of the hundreds of armed Batmen in my "Batman's Got a Gun" folder (seriously, there's enough for at least a couple more months), it's that sometimes Batman has a gun. Sometimes it's a fake-out, sometimes it's a ruse, sometimes it's a mistake, sometimes it's a hoax, a dream, or an imaginary story. But if we can say one thing, we can all agree on this: Batman's Got a Gun.

As I did yesterday, i'm going to point you to Further Reading by the guy who has influenced my own critical thinking on Batman (and the goofy riffing on him that I do in my blog), America's Foremost Batmanologist, Chris Sims! Check these out, and you'll have a fuller and more thorough understanding of the Batman's rocky relationship with revolvers.

• Guns and the Batman: Why The Dark Knight Doesn’t Use Firearms
• Ask Chris (About Batman) #54: Why Doesn’t Batman Kill?
• This Issue, Batman Kills: The Dark Knight’s Most Murderous Moments

But enough about Batman Oughta Have Guns, what about Comics Oughta Be Fun, you ask? What's on the agenda for June? Well, here's a little preview. Next month, all month: Mary Jane's Got a Gun!


Panels from Spider-Man Unlimited (1993 series) #9 (May 1995); script by Tom Lyle; pencils by Ron Lim, Ron Garney, and Ron Tod Smith; inks by (inhale) Tom Palmer, Randy Emberlin, Tim Tuohy, Al Milgrom, Jimmy Palmiotti, Klaus Janson, Sam de la Rosa, and Don Hudson; colors by John Kalisz; letters by Joe Rosen
Oh...maybe not.

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 30: License to Chill

Don't fear the reaper. It's good advice, whether you're hearing it from Buck Dharma or from Batman! Because welcome the not-quite sequel to Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One," the obviously titled "Batman: Year Two." (Seriously, this is so not Batman: Year One, folks.) Hey, this looks familiar:


Cover of Detective Comics #575 (June 1987), pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Paul Neary, colors by Anthony Tollin

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 29: I know that I must pass this test / So, just pull the trigger

If the purpose of a comic cover — and whatta cover! — is to get you to pick it up to see how and why the events are occurring like that...well, for Tec #426...mission accomplished.


Cover of Detective Comics #426 (August 1972), pencils and inks by Mike Kaluta, letters by Gaspar Saladino
OH NO! Shortly, the Batman will take gum in hand and...wait, what's so dangerous about that? I mean, maybe if the gum has aspertame in it, and he's chewin' a whole pack at once, and he tries to blow a bubble and it gets all over his cowl and then...oh, wait, it says gun. ........... Never mind.

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 28: Guns are noisy

Hey, we can't let the month finish off without another visit to the wacky and wild Batman: Odyssey, can we? (A: nope.) I know Neal Adams's latter-day work isn't a fan favorite and is much-mocked, but hey, I love its over-the-top enthusiasm and sheer energy. Also: Neal gave Batman a gun!


Panels from Batman: Odyssey (2010 series) #1 (September 2010); script, pencils, and inks by Neal Adams, colors by Continuity Studios, letters by Rob Leigh

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 27: Not Without My Mutant

Panels from Batman: The Dark Knight #2 (1986), script and pencils by Frank Miller, inks by Klaus Janson, colors by Lynn Varley, letters by John Costanza

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 26: The Bad News Batman Goes to Japan

Tonight: we're reading Batman manga...or, as it's more properly known, BATMANGA! (na na na na na na na na / gong!)

Yes, let's look toward the East (or, if you're reading this from California, the West) to the Rising Sun of the classic work of Jiro Kuwata. Don't forget: read from right to left! Or you'll be very confused, and look hopelessly uncool to those hep, with-in, manga reading kids from their positions of sitting on the floor at Barnes and Noble.


The amazing title "The Man Who Quit Being Human" accompanies the uncanny story of an extraordinary governor evolving to the next level of all-new life...he's becoming a mutant! (There will now be a slight pause so you can riff "The Jesse Ventura Story!") All this mutanting means he can migrate over to Marvel Comics and drink in some of that luxurious, rich X-Men money, but he's still concerned about it. Well, wouldn't you, if you faced the prospect of losing that gorgeous head of hair?


Panels from "The Man Who Quit Being Human" in Batman: The Jiro Kuwata Batmanga v.1 (December 2014), originally published in 少年キング [Shonen King] #38/1966-#41/1966 (September 1966), and in translated form in the US in Batman: The Jiro Kuwata Batmanga digital comic #16-18 (October 2014); script, pencils, and inks by Jiro Kuwata; translation by Sheldon Drzka; English lettering by Wes Abbott
Y'know, dude, you want somebody to kill you, don't go to the Batman. I mean, Lord Death Manis probably hanging around somewhere nearby, ask him.

Later, as Governor Warner is pelted by gamma rays, Batman is introduced to the "high-powered laser" gun which will enable him not only to shoot Warner, but to scan coupons at his local Savings-Mart. To sum up so far: Batman's got a gun, but he's not too happy about it. Me, i would be over the moon. So much to shoot!


Let's draw back the curtains to reveal our special guest-star: Charles Burns's Black Hole! (cheers, applause)


OH MAN did you see the way it zapped that big-ass metal all into nothingness I really really want one of those!


"Batman, you've pledged to never, ever shoot a gun and kill somebody. Will you shoot a gun and kill someone?" "Yeah, okay."


Batman takes control of the giant laser! It's got handlebars like a motorcycle, so I like to think that this scene was accompanied by Shonen Knife's popular cover of "Born to Be Wild."


But Batman can't pull the trigger, not even to save all of humanity. Well, thanks a lot, Batman. This scene was accompanied by the 5.6.7.8.'s energetic cover of Billy Joel's "An Innocent Man." Yeah, I like to pretty much assume every panel of Batmanga is scored to J-Pop.


Thanks to Batman's cowardly reticence to slaughter a guy just because he possesses the "X" gene, all of humanity is at risk! Especially, for some reason, cosplayers. The mutation has turned Governor Warner into Batman Beyond! With one antenna in the middle of his forehead. He's a Terry McGinnis unicorn. McGinnicorn.


Dramatic...gesture! Speed lines! What looks like the Starfleet symbol on Spock's coffin! Batman is not shooting that laser, darn it!


QUICK BATMAN HURRY SHOOT HIM WITH THE LASER FROM FOUR FEET AWAY oh geez he missed.


Then, when Batman finally does manage to shoot X-Warner, there's no effect. It doesn't leave a scratch, thanks to new Hard-Coat Lemon Pledge! Pledge Furniture Polish: Keeping your home spotless and your mutants unshootable since 1953!


So: Batman has fired a gun, and it didn't do any good. Thus his long-held belief, oft expressed to Robin: "I don't use guns; I never will. The one time I did, I totally whiffed it."

Of course, the "kill me before I become too powerful...too late!" trope is a pretty popular one. Here's one of the more recognizable examples. This oughta make Batman feel lots better: hey, if Wolverine couldn't kill somebody, there's no shame in that. And Wolverine has been known to kill people just for taking the prize out of the cereal box before he gets it. Lookin' at you, Gambit.


Panels from [Uncanny7] X-Men (1963 series) #136 (August 1980), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
And I'd be amiss (or a miss) if I didn't mention this Batmanga was based on a Batman tale from our own country, Batman #165's "The Man Who Quit the Human Race!" Please note that in the original Batman wasn't asked to kill the Governor, nor does he make any attempt to. "Come on, Robin!" he says, emphasizing the Boy Wonder's name in case you thought he might be addressing Green Lantern. "We've got to knock him out!" You hear that, ya lousy mutie? Batman said knock you out!


Panels from "The Man Who Quit the Human Race!" in Batman #165 (August 1964), script by Gardner F. Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella
So the score is: Japanese Batman placed in a situation where he must kill, almost can't do it, tries and fails. American Batman: doesn't even get asked to that particular prom.

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 25: Chariots of Firing Guns

Panels from "The Mystery of the Space Olympics" in Detective Comics #260 (October 1958), pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Charles Paris
What? Baffled? Bewildered? Bewitched? Batman with a gun, at the Olympics? (Well, the Space Olympics.) You can read more about it at your local library in pal Chris Sims's classic Olympic-year post over at ComicsAlliance: "Batman Dominates 'The Olympic Games of Space' Because Of Course He Does":

Batman turns out to be super awesome at shooting guns! You’d think he’d give that event a pass, but when the honor of an entire planet is at stake, I guess you just have to get past childhood trauma and a life-long moral code.

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 24: You Can Shoot a Lot at a Dummy

Panel from "The Cop Who Hated the Batman!" in Detective Comics #65 (July 1942), script by Joe Greene, pencils by Jack Burnley, inks by George Roussos, background inks by Ray Burnley, letters by Ira Schnapp (?)

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 23: A Salute to One of My Favorite Commenters

Panel from "The Joker Announces Danger" in Batman (1940 series) #97 (February 1956), script by Bill Finger, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Charles Paris, letters by Pat Gordon

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 22: Final appearance, Fat British Riddler

Panels from Batman Confidential #13 (March 2008), script by Tony Bedard, pencils by Rags Morales, inks by Mark Farmer, colors by I.L.L., letters by John J. Hill

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 21: Bruce Wayne's Got a Gun!

Well hello, "W.T.F." (Wayne Trusts Firearms) Month at DC Comics, where all the cover gatefolds provided a shocking surprise once you opened them! What will the Joker poison Gotham City with? Who is the secret master of the Green Lanterns? Where did Oliver Queen go for lunch? The answer, of course, is Colonel Sanders. For all three.

Here, is the surprise that Bruce Wayne's mortal enemy is not a guy who dresses up like an Antarctic waterfowl or a giant punctuation mark, but his long-time hetero lifemate, Jim Gordon? Or is the shocking twist that Bruce draws a gun so quickly that Jim's jumps out of his hand in suicidal surrender as if it were springloaded? No, it is none of these things. It is that Jim Gordon is a middle-aged man, who, twenty issues later, will be young and buff enough to become Batman himself. Big mistake, guys! Now you have to reboot the entire universe to cover up that mistake. Boy, I sre hope whoever made that blunder got fired for it.


Cover of Batman (2011 series) #19 (June 2013), pencils and inks by Greg Capullo, colors by FCO Plascencia

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 20: Robot Death Call!

Cover of World's Finest Comics #164 (February 1967), pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein, letters by Ira Schnapp
Look out, Genia, Mistress of Malice, in a story that is not called "The Broken Code" but is instead titled "Brainiac's Super Brain-Child!" Well, I've gotta say, that second one has a little more je ne sais quoi to it, doncha think? In any case...look out, Genia! Superman and Batman are going to shoot you with hair dryers!


Panels from "Brainiac's Super Brain-Child" in World's Finest Comics #164 (February 1967), script by Leo Dorfman, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein
Aw, cool yer jets, Greyson. It's the Silver Age, where nobody ever dies at the hands of a superhero — not even Hitler in the confusingly titled "Aquaman Kills Hitler" in Adventure Comics Annual #2. Instead, she's been banished by whoever is the quicker draw to the exile of their choice! In the original version of this series Wonder Woman also guest-starred and fired a gun that shot Genia into a very liberal all-girl's school on Paradise Island, but they cut that bit out because they were afraid it would upset readers of a nervous disposition... But not me, I can tell ya.


No, instead Superman sends her, via illegal torrenting, into the bottle city of Kandor, where everyone is always incredibly earnest and also dress like Legion of Superheroes cosplayers. Here they will "re-program" her criminal tendencies by drilling into the skull just below the temple, scooping out...oh wait, I forgot she's actually a robot. Yeah, they're actually re-programming her. Which will make her a valuable ally of Superman the next time she appears!

Genia, of course, never appears again.

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 19: Deathstroke Double-Dog Dares Dark Knight

Cover of Detective Comics #710 (June 1997), pencils and inks by Lee Weeks, colors by Patrick Martin
Thanks to Deathstroke (The Terminator Who's Not Arnold™), Batman's trapped in the puzzling paradox known as the Spanish Prisoner...or maybe the Greek Interpreter?...would you believe the Russian Tea Room?!? The only way he can stop a deadly criminal is by shooting him! But Batman has sworn to never use guns! (Not even on a floor.)


Panels from Detective Comics #710 (June 1997), script by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Graham Nolan, inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, colors by Gloria Vasquez, letters by John Costanza
Decisions, decisions!



Whoa, he shot the gun right outta the gun's hands! Batman: DEADSHOT. Well, not literally, because that's a whole 'nother character.

So, Batman can shoot a gun, and pretty well. It just makes him feel uncomfortable.


NEXT, IN DETECTIVE COMICS #711: Batman shoots everybody!