Make thy two burgers, like meatballs, start from their casserole,
Thy ground and minced beef to bake
And with sauce of Worcestershireworshire,
Spike rice into the oven porpentine.
Gourmets and gourmands and gourmetinas, may I present to you, overlooked by the kindness of grapes and their special cameo guest-star the teapot, Mama Bull's famous Oven Porcupines.
...which are meatballs and rice in tomato sauce. Makes 4 to 6 servings, or, in our family, 12 to 72.
Since I have always been six (which is a very good age to be), I have never been a teenager. And yet Mama Bull loves making us Teenage Kitchen Fondue. Which is weird, because I'm pretty sure our kitchen is not a teenager.
Fondue is all the rage in our home and we even have the special color-coded extendo-forks (I get the blue ones!). I'm pretty fond of cheese fondue, or cooking little meatballs inside a fondue cauldron of scalding peanut oil, but there is nothing quite on earth like Mock Cheese Fondue made but from Apple Juice. This is as opposed to Mock Apple Pie which is made from Ritz Crackers, so I'm guessing somewhere out there is at least one recipe for Mock Ritz Crackers made out of cheese.
Also, don't forget the Psychedelic Dessert Fondue, about which warnings have been given at Woodstock.
Most important, Mama Bull's recipe card has a Screen Actors Guild card of its own, because she lent the card to neighborhood friends Michael Diamond, Adam Yauch and Adam Horovitz. "Such nice boys they are," says Mama Bull, "but why is their music so loud?" Here we can see the recipe card in its starring role!
And now thanks to the magic of YouTube, you tube too can watch the guest appearance of Mama Bull's recipe card in this very same Beastie Boys music video!:
"Body Movin'" music video by The Beastie Boys (November 1998), directed by Adam Yauch
The video itself is a spoof of (and uses footage from) the groovy 1968 Italian action movie Danger: Diabolik, based on the even-groovier European comics series by Angela and Luciana Giussani. And the character inspired Grant Morrison's X-Men character Fantomex, so in terms of Six Degrees of Comics World Separation, that means my Mama is connected to Xorn in fewer connections than you might think! Also, she is connected to robot pals Crow and Tom Servo, because Danger: Diabolik was the film riffed on in the final episode* of Mystery Science Theater 3000!Watch it here now!
To sum up: Mama Bull's fondue recipe card is famous around the world for its starring role in a sexy Italian action movie. That's pretty much more than any of us can say, unless you are of course regular Comics Oughta Be Fun! reader and commenter Monica Vitti. Ciao, baby!
*Yes, yes, I know, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. I pfui on your Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders.
If you're in the mood for a Crock-Pot® full o' cheesy, tomatoey, macaroniesque undercooked pork products, boy, has Mama Bull got the dish for you:
It's Saucy Twist Pork Dish, and there's a lot of it. And it's in every popular 1970s shade: Harvest Gold, Avocado, and Rose. Yes, if you liked Mad Men, you'll love this...pot o' pork. Because when you think about pigs, you automatically think...corkscrew-shaped pasta.
From my extensive research into the 1970s Recipe Cards of Mama Bull, it was illegal to cook something without a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup.
This recipe serves a family of four to six, or two hobos.
