Bully Says: Comics Oughta Be Fun!

"Is your name not Bruce?...That's going to cause a little confusion."

2012-01-27T21:00:00.003-05:00

Here's a trivia question I'm betting you won't get! (Note: I am not actually allowed to bet.) Where can you find the first time that both Stan Lee and Jack Kirby are officially credited as co-creating the Incredible Hulk in the credits of a comic book? Hmmm? Do you think you know that? Think hard! Here, I'll give you some time to ponder it. Don't forget to phrase your answer in the form of an answer!

Ready with your answer? Is it a comic book from Marvel? BZZZZZZ! That's wrong! It's actually a comic book which introduces us to our jolly green giant and a certain caped crusader at the same time! No, I'm not talkin' 'bout Bat-Hulk...

Cover of The Brave and the Bold #68 (October-November 1966), pencils by Mike Sekowsky, inks by Joe Giella

Altho' you and I will both agree that Bat-Hulk is awesome and we demand a New 52 monthly comic based on his crazy bumbling adventures! Like I keep saying, Call me, Mr. Jim-not-Stan Lee! I've got a great pitch for you!

No, I specifically refer you to the oversized and awkwardly titled DC Special Series #27!:

from DC Special Series #27 [Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk] (Fall 1981), script by Len Wein, pencils by José Luis Garcia-Lopez, inks by Dick Giordano, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza

...aka Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk, which surely must be one of the most lopsided fighting matches on Crossover-Earth. I don't care how much prep time you give Batman. Unless he has one of those specially-designed Bat-Anti-Gamma-Radiation Converters. Hmmmm...that might just work.

Anyway, altho' Marvel has been historically loath to list creator credits for its characters within their comic books, DC isn't, so the inside front page that introduces us to our two hulk-tagonists ("Hi! I'm Batman!" "And me Hulk!") gives you a quick, Cliffs Notes-style intro to each character. Remember, this is well before both Batman R.I.P. and World War Hulk, so you actually can fit both histories together on one page!

Pretty full coverage, huh? All this thing is missing is Dick Greyson and Rick Jones! And I think we all know who would win that fight, right?

Here's a close-up of the proper respect and credit Jack Kirby deserves on every Hulk (and X-Men, and Avengers, and FF, etc.) comic Marvel publishes:

Although here's my personal origin recap of the hulk:

In the interest of equal time and fair balance, here's what the comic has printed about Batman.

Huh. Hold on a sec...let me fix that for y'all.

If you've never read Batman vs. Hulk, it's well-worth seeking out as a back issue or in any of its various reprintings. Not only does it give us the greatest story ever that stars two, count 'em, two Bruces:

...but also answers the question of every fanguy and gal around: who would win in a fight between Batman and the Hulk? Also, it answers the question of "what goofy nickname would Hulk give to Batman?"

THe Hulk, egged on by some weird green-haired albino character who I'm guessing was created for this special and has never appeared before or since, seems to have Batman caught in the patented Bane-Back-Break™ move. "HULK...WILL...BREAK...YOU!"

But, in the words of John Cutter (or was it Blade?) always bet on black. Or, during this period, blue and grey.

Not only is there a dandy extended let's-fight-before-we-team-up scene for our verdant and chiropteran heroes, there's also the first recorded conversation between Jim Gordon and Thunderbolt Ross! Now that General Ross is the superhero Red Hulk and Gordon is the superhero Blue Bat, it's fun to see where they first crossed paths. Get outta the way with your oh-so-"casual" cameo, Doc Samson! No one likes you! I am sending your name to Andrew Weiss for inclusion in his ongoing series of guys like you!

Hey, look, it's everybody's favorite as-yet-unbaked monster, Doughboy! Do not eat him, Hulk...he contains uncooked eggs, the consumption of which could cause both salmonella and fewer chickens!

The Hulk's antagonist The Shaper of Worlds gives Batman's nemesis The Joker the power to rearrange reality any way he wants! Witness...Batclown swinging in on a string of sausages! I think we've all been demanding this scene.

It is worth the entire price of admission to see Batman and Hulk dressed as Tweedledum and Tweedledope. Joker, Jarvis Tetch's lawyer will be in touch with your attorneys any day now.

Seriously: I just love José Luis Garcia-Lopez's artwork, and he's really hitting every high point here. Gotta love this nightmarish, Daliesque page:

I especially love this three-panel sequence between Bruce Banner and Alfred Pennyworth that I spotlighted earlier today in 366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth. It's on two tiers in the original comic, but I experimented with putting all three panels on the same tier to see how it looks, and suddenly it became a perfect daily comic strip, complete with the same daily strip "beats" that accompany a non-humor strip. My point, I and I guess I have one, is that even taken out of context by a little stuffed bull, Garcia-Lopez is extraordinary at telling a story ultra-effectively through the comics medium.

(Click picture to Moon Mullinsize)

Honestly, you wanna see a work of art by José Luis Garcia-Lopez? Just flip to the back cover of Batman vs. Hulk.

How great is Batman in this pin-up? He is kicking two different villains simultaneously at the same time he is punching Two-Face. Batman: the quicker-picker-upper!

So, to conclude: Batman vs. Hulk. Everybody wins.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 27

2012-01-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from DC Special Series #27 [Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk] (Fall 1981 ), script by Len Wein, pencils by José Luis Garcia-Lopez, inks by Dick Giordano, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza

Down in the street they're all singing and shouting / Staying alive though the city is dead

2012-01-26T21:00:00.001-05:00

It's January 26th, so let's all wish a happy birthday to my (and your!) favorite Batgirl, Cassie Cain!

Panels from Batgirl v.1 #33 (December 2002), script by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Damion Scott, inks by Robert Campanella, colors by Jason Wright, color separations by Digital Chameleon, letters by John Costanza

But the fact is, before her incarcerated assassin deadbeat dad tells her this, Cassie has no idea when her birthday is. Barbara Gordon (Batgirl 1.0) comes up with an idea for giving Cass a birthday, and Batman agrees. (Batman concerning himself with such things as birthdays? Where are we, in the Silver Age?!?)

When Cass visits her dad, professional killer David Cain, in prison, she's head over heels at seeing him!

She's got an message and a question. The message is from Batgirl, and the question is from her. Oh, don't give her those blank looks, Cain. Do you want her to repeat the question?

So. in the end, it's a matter of choice. Choose your identity. Choose your birthday. Choose your father figure. Yeah, like you wouldn't pick Batman for that last one.

Whenever it is now, Happy birthday, Cassie. But make sure you get her something she likes.

Panels from Tiny Titans #33 (December 2010), script by Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani; pencils, inks, colors and letters by Art Baltazar

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 26

2012-01-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Batgirl v.1 #49 (April 2004), script by Dylan Horrocks, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Jesse Delperdang, colors by Jason Wright, letters by Clem Robins

If Scott McCloud Did Batman

2012-01-25T21:00:00.002-05:00

Panels from Detective Comics v.1 #336 (February 1965), script by Gardner Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella, Photoshopped by yours truly

Context.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 25

2012-01-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from "Recipe for Revenge!" in Batman v.1 #26 (December 1944-January 1945), script by Jack Schiff, pencils and inks by Jerry Robinson, letters by George Roussos

With super power comes the Super Bowl

2012-01-24T22:00:00.005-05:00

There's something familiar about the front page of the New York Daily News for January 16. Hmmm...I can't quite put my hoof on it...

"New York's Hometown Newspaper?" Well, maybe on boring old Earth-1218. But in the DC Universe. I'm guessing that Clark Kent's lawyers were in touch with the Daily News there, until Clark remembered he shouldn't let people know he's Superman. In this universe, I doubt that Time-Warner will be litigious about this pastiche of their flagship superhero—they're too busy instructing Dan DiDio and Jim Lee to publish 104 different comics starting in June. Hey, maybe we'll finally see that Aquaman series they've been promising us. What? There already is one? ........ Golly, I hadn't noticed.

Say, what do you think this newspaper front page would look like in the Marvel Universe? I think it would go...A little something like this:

I'm just sorry it couldn't be the New York Smashers going to the Super Bowl.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 24

2012-01-24T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panel from Batman Confidential #23 (January 2009), script by Andrew Kreisberg, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Andy Owens, colors by Allen Passalaqua (?), letters by Jared K. Fletcher

In Which Bully Discovers That Having is Not So Pleasing a Thing, After All, As Wanting, v2.0

2012-01-23T20:30:00.005-05:00

A couple weeks ago, on January 7, was the centenary birthday of one of my favorite cartoonists, Charles Addams, which as usual, I found out about thanks to a Google Doodle...

...which, since he died in 1988, he didn't draw. (Although, with Charles Addams, you never know.)

Anyway, it inspired me to pull my Chas. Addams books off the shelf and spend a pleasant and spooky afternoon re-reading them.

After I shivered my way through Homebodies and Nightcrawlers and Favorite Haunts and Black Maria I wanted to read even more. Right there, right then! I'm an instant gratification bull. Since I'm a big fan of reading books, and, yes, comics on my Apple iPad (because at my size, it's like seeing an IMAX movie), I dialed up the number for Amazoning Dot Company on the ol' BullyPad and I was pleased to see you could get some of the more recent themed collections for the Kindle. Hey-O! Download instantly? Well, I'm a mite impatient, but I suppose I could wait for instantly if I make a special effort to be patient.

Hey, look, you can download a sample of the book! Great! I've bought cartoon and graphic novels formatted for the Kindle, and the quality of the images often greatly varies. Let me download the free sample so I can see if I want to buy the entire book! (I had to have my pal John help me with that because first, he has the credit card, and second, for some reason it's hard to activate the touch-screen by tapping with a woolen hoof. I'm sure the iPad 3 will remedy that oversight.

An instant later (see?), a sample of Happily Ever After ran in through the door and hopped into my iPad, ready to read. (I think that is the way it works. It's pretty fast and you don't really see it happening, just like when Barry Allen takes the last donut that Hawkman had his eye on at the JLA meeting 22,300 miles above the earth.) Here's the first page of the Kindle sample:

Here's page two. Pugsley!

Page 3 is the second title page. Just in case you forgot what you were reading. On a real book you can just look at the dust jacket, so this is handy on the Kindle.

It's getting exciting now! Here's pages 4 and 5.

And here's page 6. It is the final page of the preview file.

Huh. That was...pointless. Let's try another sample, for Simon & Schuster's Chas Addams Half-Baked Cookbook, shall we? (Yes, let's!)

The sample file for Half-Baked Cookbook

is four pages long and consists of the title and copyright pages.

Well, ya get what ya pay for, huh? Seriously, I'm not pointing my fingers at Amazon on this one, because I've recently downloaded sample files for several other non-cartoon books and I've gotten sizable previews that let me read just enough to find out if I wanted to buy the book. The free sample of Stephen King's new novel 11/22/63 had so many pages in it that for most authors that woulda been the whole book! (And it did its job: I couldn't stop reading and immediately bought the Kindle ebook.)

Publishers set the limit of what percentage of a book you can see using Amazon's "Click to Look Inside" feature, so I'm wondering if the same is true for Kindle samples. If this is true, then I need to get in touch with Simon & Schuster as soon as possible and tell them they need to include at least a couple pages of cartoons in their sample so we can check out the scan quality of an illustrated book. I shall call my good pals Carly Simon and Wayne & Schuster and ask them to do something about that.

So, I didn't buy the books on Kindle and Simon & Schuster lost out on a sale. Get with the twenty-first century, guys! In this fast-as-the-Flash-but-with-fewer-supervillains technology of today's Y2K12, you have to keep up with the pack or risk being left behind. Charles Addams was pretty clear on that same point.

Play us off, Irish Rovers!

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 23

2012-01-23T17:00:00.001-05:00

Two-page spread from Booster Gold v.2 (November 2008), script by Chuck Dixon, breakdowns by Dan Jurgens, finishes by Norm Rapmund, colors by Hi-Fi, letters by Sal Cipriano
(Click picture to Booster-size!)

Ten of a Kind: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

2012-01-22T21:00:00.002-05:00

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 22

2012-01-22T17:00:00.001-05:00

Cover of Batman v.1 #26 (December 1944-January 1945), pencils and inks by Jerry Robinson

Same Story, Different Cover: First appearance in comics, Dan DiDio

2012-01-21T20:30:00.001-05:00

L: World's Finest #176 (June 1968), pencils and inks by Neal Adams
R: World's Finest #302 (April 1984), pencils by Ed Hannigan, inks by Klaus Janson
(Click picture to Frank Miller's-ego-lets-him-think-he-did-this-first-size)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 21

2012-01-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from The Batman Strikes! #15 (January 2006), script by Matthew K. Manning, pencils and inks by Wes Craig, colors by Heroic Age, letters by Travis Lanham

The Zen of Batman: Being Cool and Staying in School

2012-01-20T20:53:00.007-05:00

From Batman: "The Joker Goes to School" (March 2, 1966), written by Lorenzo Semple, Jr.; directed by Murray Golden

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 20

2012-01-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Screen shot of Alan Napier as Alfred, from Batman "True or False Face," broadcast March 9, 1966, script by Stephen Kandel, directed by William Graham

Things Bully Got for Christmas: Chocolate Milk

2012-01-19T19:00:00.006-05:00

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 19

2012-01-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Batman Chronicles #14 (Fall 1998), script by Lisa Klink, pencils by David Boller, inks by Aaron Sowd, colors by Noelle Giddings, letters by Albert DeGuzman

Bully has gone dark in protest of SOAP.

2012-01-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

But seriously, folks.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 18

2012-01-18T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Gotham City Sirens #16 (November 2010), script by Peter Calloway, pencils by Andres Guinaldo, inks by Javier Bergantiño, colors by Jonathan D. Smith, letters by Travis Lanham

Today in Comics History: Emma Frost visits her sister; fails to sell any Mutant Scout cookies

2012-01-18T00:00:00.001-05:00

Panels from Generation X #49 (March 1999), script by Jay Faerber, pencils by Terry Dodson, inks by Rachel Dodson, colors by Felix Serrano, letters by Richard Starkings

Things Bully Got for Christmas: Stonehenge

2012-01-17T21:00:00.003-05:00

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 17

2012-01-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Batman: The Dark Knight #1 (March 1986), script and pencils by Frank Miller, inks by Klaus Janson, colors by Lynn Varley, letters by John Costanza

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." (Martin Luther King, Jr., letter from Birmingham jail, April 16, 1963)

2012-01-16T21:00:00.010-05:00

Tonight's feature is a (slightly-expanded) reprint of my post from January 19, 2009.

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. While it's a matter of concern on each and every day, today is an especially important day to reflect and act on human and racial rights. Seriously, folks, this is still a major concern today. Don't just analyze the concept as it applies to mutants in the Marvel Universe...

...rather, consider, discuss, and act to work to end the ways intolerance and prejudice affects our little four-color hobby. Yes, we have come a long way in civil rights for many groups since Dr. King's work in the 1960s, and the works of those who followed him, but there's still a lot of prejudice, discrimination, and exclusion in today's society.

Or, as "The Man" so eloquently put it:

"Stan's Soapbox" from Marvel covers cover-dated December 1968

Give or take a few Civil Wars and Superhuman Registration Acts here and there, that spirit still resides in the contemporary Marvel Universe. Take, for example, Storm's speech in Black Panther Annual #1, which celebrates the work and the spirit of Dr. King and other workers for tolerance, equality, and love:

Page from Black Panther Annual #1 (April 2008), script by Reginald Hudlin; pencils by Larry Stroman and Ken Lashley; inks by Roland Paris, Carlos Cuevas, and Jonathan Sibal; colors by Matt Milla and Val Staples; letters by Cory Petit

That's a nice bit, isn't it? Mind you, never forget that there was an issue where Storm teamed up with Martin Luther King. No, it's not another photoshopped ish of Marvel Team-Up from my "If I Ran Comics" series (although!...hmmmm)...but rather...well, let me start off this way. Remember that Planet of the Gangster Aliens?

No, no, no, not that one, but rather this one:

Panels from Fantastic Four #91 (October 1969), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Joe Sinnott, letters by Sam Rosen

Yes, it's Kral, the Skrull world where they're all cos-playing as 1930s gangsters, with some sidetrips into Ancient Rome gladiator fights that pit the Thing against Torgo.

No, no, not that one, but a giant super-strong robot/cyborg type of guy who learns about humanity from Mister Ben Grimm just in time for Reed, Johnny and Crystal to arrive on the planet, dress like extras from Bugsy Malone and overthrow the Kral government to get themselves a piece of the action:

Panel from Fantastic Four #93 (December 1969), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Frank Giacoia, letters by Artie Simek

And 'round about now you're asking me What the Sam Scratch does this have to do with Dr. King, Bully? And that's a very good question. Y'see, eventually the Fantastic Four re-visits Kral, but it's the FF featuring Black Panther, Storm, The Thing and The Human Torch. (Poor Sue, she's always missing out on the Skrull Gangster Planet!) Except, just like Captain Kirk wondering what kind of civilization would spring up after the Enterprise left Sigma Iotia II, here we get to see the aftermath of the FF's previous visit. Yes, on Kral it's now roughly the 1960s and we have a Skrull who has taken on the identity and the ideals of...wait for it...

Panels here and below are from Black Panther v.4 #33 (February 2008), script by Reginald Hudlin, pencils and inks by Andrea Divito, colors by Val Staples, letters by Cory Petit

A group of Skrulls has begun a civilization-changing revolution against the regime of Skrull gangsters by becoming Dr. King and the only X-Man who was never on the team:

Of course the underground revolution wins and the FF escape for home, leaving plenty for room for an eventual sequel (c'mon, send the Runaways there!), but not before plenty of moral discussion and some good old fashioned arena-fighting action. It's a neat little parable, much in the vein of the better episodes of Star Trek, about how alien planets are sometimes not so different than our own—both hate and intolerance, and peace and love, can come to blows throughout the galaxy.

Mind you, as much as Storm reveres Dr. King's views, a mutant superhero and African queen (no, not this one) has gotta fight for what a mutant superhero and African queen believes in:

Anyway, bigotry. Once again, Stan Lee puts it well:

"Stan's Soapbox," from Marvel comics cover-dated October 1978

If you didn't bother to read that, let me just repeat Stan the Man's pertinent point:

You wanna dislike someone? Be my guest. It's a free country. But do it because he or she has personally given you a reason to feel that way, not because of skin color, or religion, or foreign ancestry, or the shape of their toenails, of any other moronic, mixed-up, mindless motive! Because, if you justify your hatred by smearing everyone in any given group with the same brush, then you're a bigot, Charlie!

To sum up: As another great man once said:

'Nuff said.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 16

2012-01-16T17:00:00.004-05:00

Via the miracle of email, pal "Mighty" Mike Sterling asked me

Would you like a screenshot from the Justice League cartoon featuring Alfred about to go mano-a-hawko with a Thanagarian?

HECK YES!

Screen shot from Justice League, "Starcrossed, Part 3," written by Rich Fogel & Dwayne McDuffie, directed by Butch Lukic), original air date May 29, 2004

Thanks, Mike! (Now I gotta find a panel of Swamp Thing and Alfred palling around together...)

Ten of a Kind: Straight Outta Vitruvia

2012-01-15T21:00:00.001-05:00

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 15

2012-01-15T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panel from Nightwing: Alfred's Return one-shot (July 1995), script by Alan Grant, pencils and inks by Dick Giordano, colors by Adrienne Roy, letters by Albert DeGuzman

#4,200

Same Story, Different Cover: Oh, what a strange magic

2012-01-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

L: Amazing Spider-Man Annual #2 (1965), pencils and inks by Steve Ditko
R: Doctor Strange v.1 #179 (April 1969), pencils by Barry Windsor-Smith
(Click picture to 177A Bleecker Street-size)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 14

2012-01-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

Splash page from The Batman Adventures v.1 #29 (February 1995), script by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Dev Madan, inks by Rick Burchett, colors by Rick Taylor, letters by Rick Starkings

Nothing gets past Batman

2012-01-13T20:00:00.002-05:00

Panels from "The League of Ex-Convicts" in Batman v.1 #103 (October 1956), script by Arnold Drake, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Charles Paris, colors by Pat Gordon

And a very happy Friday the Thirteenth to you too, from Batman and Robin and Bully too!!

Cover of Batman v.1 #40 (April-May 1947), pencils by Jack Burnley, inks by Charles Paris, letters by Ira Schnapp
Cover mildly Photoshopped by yours very stuffed truly

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 13

2012-01-13T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Detective Comics #356 (October 1966), script by Gardner Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella

And now you know...the secret of the Outsider!

(I'm still wondering why he always stayed inside, though.)

More about the Vision than you ever wanted to know.

2012-01-12T21:00:00.004-05:00

In the spirit of The Vision in a Sweater and a Bathrobe and The Vision in a Turtleneck comes these astonishing follow-ups from the synthezoid men call...The Vision! In...something. This time it's...

The Vision in a Speedo!

Panels from (top to bottom) The Avengers #137 (July 1975); The Avengers v.3 #23 (December 1999); What If? v.2 #9 (January 1990)

Special Bonus! From the immortal Avengers #254, here's an all-new, all-elegant fashion parade by Vizh! He shops at Casual Male...so you don't have to!

The Vision in a Polo Shirt, Sex Dungeon Wear*, and Hanging Around the Playboy Mansion!

Panels from The Avengers #254 (April 1985), script by Roger Stern, breakdowns by Bob Hall, finishes by Joe DelBeato and Joe Rubinstein, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Joe Rosen

Extra Special Bonus!: what if the Vision had the same musculature as Rob Liefeld's Captain America**? We'd all freak out, that's what!

Panels from The Vision #1 (November 1994), script by Bob Harras, pencils by Manny Clark, inks by Al Vey and Mike Machlan, colors by Joe Andreani, letters by Bill Oakley

And if you've come this far, you can't avert your eyes in time to unsee

NAKED VISION!

Think that's bad enough? Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Then maybe you haven't noticed the crowning point in the Vision's miniseries of the nineties skeeviness:

HE HAS A PIN-UP OF PSYLOCKE.

I'm pretty sure that's about all you want to know about The Vision for quite some time.

*Not that I know anything about that.
**Persons of a nervous disposition should not click on this link. Probably too late, sorry.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 12

2012-01-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Detective Comics #356 (October 1966), script by Gardner Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella

Little Cool Things: Bill Nighy will get you if you don't watch out

2012-01-11T22:00:00.005-05:00

Superhero comic books focus on the big: the boistrous, the loud, the bombastic. But don't forget to focus past the action to check out the background details: the elements that aren't integral to the plot but which are delightful little bits of stage dressing. In other words: keep your eyes peeled for the little cool things.

Hey, everybody...let's go back to the nineties! Hey, come back! Stop running away! We're not really going back to the 1990s! No, see, it's okay...we're just' gonna look at comic books from the nineties.

Hey, where you goin'? C'mon back everybody!

Okay, now that we've settled that, let's look at 1992's New Titans Annual #8. How nineties is it? It's so nineties that everybody has a mullet! Nightwing has a mullet!

Panels from The New Titans Annual #8 (1992), by a whole lotta guys including, of course, Marv Wolfman

It's so nineties that ~~Beast Boy~~ Changeling has a mullet!

It's so 1990s that Starfire has a mullet!

Anyway, my point...and I do have one...is that this issue has a pretty neat Little Cool Thing. Part of the "Eclipso: The Darkness Within" crossover event of '92, the issue's climactic goodie versus baddie battle takes place in a museum's Egyptian wing. (Not guest-starring Hawkman, for once!) One of the pages is bordered with a full frame of hieroglyphics. Presumably, if Eclipso can decipher these, he can take over the world, extinguish humanity, and shut down all the Panera Bread cafés. What a dastardly plan!

Did ya spot the Little Cool Thing? Of course ya did! (Because I know my readers are smart and brilliant and eagle-eyed and not susceptible to off-the-hand buttering up.) So, you saw the LCT...but can you decipher

That's not Egyptian...that's Interlac, the universal language of the DC Universe's galactic beings, the one-millennium-forward future of The Legion of Super-Heroes, and some of the more remote villages of Markovia, home of the tourist slogan Visit Markovia, the poor man's Latveria! Long-time Legionnaires could probably read this in their sleep, but off-hand the only Interlac letter I usually recognize is "E," mainly because Element Lad used to wear it on his uniform, thus following the twentieth century custom of wearing your first initial somewhere on your costume (see: Superman, Aquaman, Captain America, Coil-Man, Fluid-Man, Multi-Man...) but also of having really, really great perms.

...that is, when he wasn't busy dressing like one of Darkseid's minions...

Believe me: Element Lad has had lots of rotten costumes. But let's poke through his closet another day. So to speak.

To decipher the Interlac hieroglyphs, just pull out your handy Interlac translation chart, clipped from the back of LSH #311!

Or, look for the archaic "inter-Net" on your McCauley Omnicom and dial up the charmingly primitive Wikipedia to find a fuller Interlac guide, including numbers and capital letters!

Capital letters?!? At last, people other than k.d. lang can join the Legion!

Carefully translating the Interlac, we can find that it reads, as far as we can see of the letters:

THE EN
OF THE
WORLD
IS NIG

Here, let me put it into a more familiar state so you can perhaps fill in the letters:

Which of course means the earth is under threat from the menace of British actor Bill Nighy! Bwah!

No, no, I kids the Bill Nighy. The actual translation is likely THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH, which is fitting for an Eclipso story, and also because there's only a few pages left in New Titans Annual #8. Only a few lines left in this post, too, which is long enough to show you another cool thing from NTA #8: the moment when Nightwing mistakenly thought the comic book was in 3D!

That's all, except for a final comment. Always remember...

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 11

2012-01-11T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panels from Detective Comics #356 (October 1966), script by Gardner Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella

Bemused? Baffled? Bewildered? Bedeviled? Bewitched? Be-de-be-de-be-de-Buck? Tune in tomorrow, folks!

Things Bully Got for Christmas: Chairs

2012-01-10T21:00:00.001-05:00

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 10

2012-01-10T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panels from Detective Comics #340 (June 1965), script by Gardner Fox, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Joe Giella

Things Bully Got for Christmas: A Christmas Cracker

2012-01-09T21:00:00.001-05:00

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 9

2012-01-09T17:00:00.002-05:00

Panel from The Brave and the Bold #187 (June 1982), script by Charlie Boatner; pencils, inks, and letters by Jim Aparo, colors by Adrienne Roy,

Ten of a Kind: A little less conversation, a little more Action Comics

2012-01-08T21:00:00.002-05:00

Born this day in 1935, we remember Elvis Presley.

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 8

2012-01-08T17:00:00.002-05:00

Panel from Superman/Batman #63 (October 2009), co-plot by Michael Green, co-plot and dialogue by Michael Johnson, pencils and inks by Rafael Albuquerque, colors by David Baron, letters by Rob Leigh

Same Story, Different Cover: Ice, ice, baby

2012-01-07T22:00:00.001-05:00

L: Journey Into Unknown Worlds #17 (April 1953), pencils and inks by Bill Everett
R: Chamber of Chills #9 (September 1974), pencils by Larry Lieber(?), inks by Frank Giacoia
(Click picture to chill-chamber-size)

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 7

2012-01-07T17:00:00.003-05:00

Page from Catwoman v.4 #2 (December 2011), script by Judd Winick, pencils and inks by Guillem March, colors by Tomeu Morey, letters by Sal Cipriano

Whoops! There It Is!

2012-01-06T21:00:00.009-05:00

"There's no way Aquaman would behave like that! What a mistake!" you and I and the guy down at your Ye Olde Locale Comice Booke Shoppe have declared at one point or another, unless, of course, like most people, you've never even read Aquaman. ("He can talk to fish, right?") But to contradict the immortal words of Colin Hay, that isn't a mistake...it's what we in the comics fandom field call characterization. In the style of a good-old fashioned Smallville Elementary spelling bee (which Lex always won), I shall now use that word in a sentence: "Hank Pym is a wife-beating psychopath. That's not a mistake, that's characterization." In short, comics are perfect, flawless, and infallible, much like the Pope, who is, after all, a canonical character of the Marvel Universe.

Panel from What If? v1 #28 (August 1981), script by Michael Fleisher, pencils and inks by Tom Sutton, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Vic Carey

But still...just between you and me and the lamppost (that one way just south of where Mr. Tumnus lives), I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: sometimes comics make mistakes. (It's true!) This includes that time when Peter Parker was called both Peter Palmer and Super-Man, when the Hulk was Don Blake, and when Emma Frost couldn't tell toast from a Pop Tart. Don't tell anybody at Marvel or DC, but I've found a few more of comics' face-palmingest moments. Sometimes it's something as simple as a spelling error. But hey, we've all made those, huh? You can live with a little typo, right?

Panels from Legion of Monsters v2 #2 (January 2012), script by Dennis Hopeless, pencils and inks by Juan Doe, colors by Wil Quintana, letters by Dave Lanphear

Hey, that vampire stole Deadman's costume! But even though you shouldn't spit in the wind, tug on Superman's cape, or pull the leotard off the dead Boston Brand, that's not the mistake. Read the final panel carefully: what in context should read "battery part" instead says...

With all due respect, Mister Dave Lanphear...tee hee!

Of course, as the popular bumper sticker inspired by Forrest Gump says: "Typos happen." But they usually don't happen in a comic book created to help kids read:

Panel from Spidey Super Stories #40 (May 1979), script by Michael Siporin, pencils by Win Mortimer, inks by Mike Esposito

Or, maybe this spelling is correct and this is actually the French Spider-Man: L'Homme Étonnant D'Arachnide! Il fait tout ce qu'une araignée ne! Anyway, good job at not being credited, anonymous letterer of Spidey Super Stories #40...we salute you!

Sometimes the ~~misteak~~ ~~misstake~~ error can be chalked up to what Cool Hand Luke called, in between mouthfuls of hard-boiled eggs, "a failure to communicate." In an industry with many creators (and yet so few credited as such), it might be a misunderstanding or oversight between the scripter and the penciller or the colorist, like this example where dialogue says it's two-thirty and yet the clock reads...well, I really can't tell what time it's supposed to be, with those identically-sized clock hands in impossible places.

Panels from Green Lantern v3 #80 (November 1996), script by Ron Marz, pencils by J.H. Williams, inks by Mick Gray, colors by Pamela Rambo, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

It's not 1:12 (what would be the hour hand is too far past the one), and it's not 2:08 (the "hour" hand is past the two). Gosh, this one's a tough call, because I like the work of both Ron Marz and J.H. Williams and I don't wanna place blame at anybody's feet. I could do what usually is done in comics (blame the editor), but instead I'm going to attempt an in-universe explanation to earn the DC version of a No-Prize (a Bob Rozakis Answer Man Award?) Here we go: The correct explanation is that Kyle Rayner can't tell time.

And from what I can tell in this comic, Kyle Rayner can't tell colors either. Kinda a handicap when you're fighting guys with different colored rings, I would think. Maybe that's why they each have subtlely distinct logos, for Green Lanterns who are chroma-impaired. Say, how do you think G'nort and Dex-Starr get around those limitations?

Panels from JLA Classified #14 (January 2006), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Butch Guice, colors by David Baron, letters by Phil Balsman

Here's another case of the editor not noticing a contradiction between the script and the art, from James Robinson's Justice League of America. Not pointing any hooves coughcoughrexoglecougheddieberganzacoughsneeze. But what's that? It's from the second-to-last ish of Justice League of America before the Flashpoint reboot into the New 52? Justice League of America volume two, 2006 series? The issue before they just all give up and disband the Justice League? (Which seems to be the way they end JLA series these days anymore.) That one?

Oh, 'nuff said then!

Panels from Justice League of America #59 (September 2011), script by James Robinson, pencils by Daniel Sampere, inks by Wayne Faucher, colors by Andrew Dalhouse, letters by Rob Leigh

Oh, well, I guess as long as Eclipso has ended all life in the universe and taken up his throne of skulls just like the Darkseid/Thanos wanna-be he is, then it's no wonder the JLA busted up. "Dudes...we're dead. We can rest now." "That's treasonous talk, mister!"

Sure, Eclipso destroyed everything (hopefully including the 1992 Eclipso: The Darkness Within annuals). No lights. No planes. No motorcars. Not even any stars...

Yup, that's right. There ain't a single star in the sky. There's millions of 'em.

You can hardly blame Eclipso...he's too busy chillin' in his big chair, watching his widescreen TV made of skulls, so he hasn't noticed. Shame that he destroyed all the universe's nachos, though.

Sometimes a blooper in a comic book is attributable to nothing more than good-old fashioned Murphy's Law-abiding technology. Here's a case where an entire set of pages (a signature within the comic) got the wrong colors printed. First, on a correct page: here's the way '70s Marvel hero stuntman is supposed to look, in a red and white costume...

Panels from The Human Fly #19 (March 1979), script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Lee Elias, inks by Ricardo Villamonte, colors by Elaine Heinl, letters by Diana Albers

And here's the way he shows up on the error pages...in a green costume. Wow, he's not only a great stuntman, he's a quick-change artist as well!

Red dots turn into blue and yellow; red and white into blue and white...look, I don't understand it aside from the color register was is printed. Now's a good time to get out that coloring chart from Marvel Age in the 80s and follow along with its four-color glory! Me, I like to pretend that halfway through the comic book the Human Fly got changed into a Kree and was transported to do battle on a Kree cowboy outpost. And then Kree Farrah Fawcett types up a report for Kree Charlie! Lookit those pages fly! There must be less gravity on the Hala-Deadwood planet.

She's also typing that it's the end of the series, which, you gotta admit, is a great ending for a Marvel comic series in the 1970s. "I'm telling you, Shooter, it'll be great! Everybody turns into a Kree soldier at the end of the final ish! The kids'll love it!" "Whatever. You wanna write this new Micronauts thing, Bill?" Of course, another mistake is that the letters page is telling us about the next issue. Also, for some reason, the letter page is covered with flies. It was a risky but bold move of Marvel to print all their comics in 1979 on past-expiration-date lunch meat, huh?

Here's one last one...see if you can help me figure this one out. Madame Hydra tells Whirlwind he's late. The appointment was at eight o'clock. Whirlwind arrived at 7:45. So he's not late. In fact, he thinks he's 45 instead of 15 minutes early because he thought the appointment was at 8:30.

WHAT THE SAM SCRATCH IS THE POINT OF THIS SCENE?!?!?

Panels from Iron Man v.2 #3 (January 1997), script and co-plot by Scott Lobdell; co-plot by Jim Lee; pencils by Whilce Portacio; inks by Scott Williams, JD, Tom McWeeney, and Trevor Scott; colors by Joe Chiodo, Martin Jimenez, and Wildstorm FX; letters by Richard Starkings, Comicraft, Dave Lanphear, and Albert Deschesne

What's the point? Perhaps the point is don't put seventy-three people working on one comic book. Perhaps the point is Scott Lobdell. Maybe the point is Heroes Reborn. But me, I'm gonna go for the easy guess and tell you that the point is...it was the nineties.

That about wraps it up for our little tiptoe through the lutips of weird and wacky bloopers and blunders in comic books from Marvel and DC, although there's always more. (I've got a whole folder full of 'em.) And at least, as I said at the beginning, you can count on a few universal constant truths that are always part of a character. For example, Aquaman talks to fish; we all know it, and that's that.

Panel from Aquaman v.7 #1 (November 2011), script by Geoff Johns, pencils by Ivan Reis, inks by Joe Prado, colors by Rod Reis, letters by Nick J. Napolitano

Oh for crying out loud.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 6

2012-01-06T17:00:00.003-05:00

Panels from Year One: Batman/Ra's al Ghul #1 (June 2005), script by Devin K. Grayson, pencils by Paul Gulacy, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti, colors by Laurie Kronenberg, letters by Phil Balsman

Well, That'll Happen: It Was a Short War, Charlie Brown.

2012-01-05T20:30:00.004-05:00

Panels from "Till Death Do Us Part" in Journey Into Mystery v.1 #15 (April 1954), pencils and inks by Vic Carrabotta

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 5

2012-01-05T17:00:00.003-05:00

Panels from Infinite Crisis #2 (January 2006), script by Geoff Johns; pencils by Phil Jimenez; inks by Mario Alquiza, Andy Lanning, Norm Rapmund, and Lary Stucker; colors by Jeremy Cox and Guy Major; letters by Nick J. Napolitano

Zing!

2012-01-04T21:00:00.002-05:00

Panels from World's Finest #275 (January 1982), script by Bob Rozakis, pencils by Alex Saviuk, inks by Rodin Rodriguez, colors by Bob LeRose, letters by Phil Felix

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 4

2012-01-04T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panel from Justice League Adventures #3 (March 2002), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by John Delaney, inks by Randy Elliott, colors by John Kalisz, letters by Kurt Hathaway

Sulu Can't Drive Warp Five

2012-01-03T21:00:00.004-05:00

Consider (if you will) all the things that Star Wars gave us and made a permanent part of pop culture. Neurotic robots, lightsaber battles, the idea that tanks could be built with four legs, and midicholrians. Well, they can't all be winners. But for every minor innovation like blue milk (and I can't understand why Lucas hasn't licensed that to be sold in stores already), there's a genre-busting breakthrough like this—really really fast spaceships.

In era-BANH (Before A New Hope), we saw spaceships as oversized and ponderously slow: the Pan Am Space Clipper and the Aries 1B Earth-Moon shuttle of 2001, the Dark Star (from the movie of the same name, of course), the Valley Forge from Silent Running, the United Planets Cruiser C57-D of Forbidden Planet. Even Georges Méliès's A Trip to the Moon, for all its here's ship-in-your-eye technology, slowly floats back down to earth after it falls off a moon cliff just in time to escape the threatening moon men. Star Wars cranked up the speed, slammed Han Solo's pedal to the metal and showed us just how mind-breakingly cool it was to zip into hyperspace. Remember how awesome that effect was the first time you saw it?

But now, everybody does it. Including Star Trek.

But: we didn't see this type of speed and maneuverability in the original Star Trek series. Until the debut of 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture That Goes On and On and On and On and On and On..., we didn't see the effects of the Enterprise going into hyperspace. It was even later that we saw Trek's ships behave with the speed and manueverability of Star Wars, in the battle scenes against the Borg in Star Trek: First Contact and versus the Dominion in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Aside from a few sped-up fly-bys and the opening credits, the original Enterprise, even at the occasional impossible speed (warp 14.1 in ""That Which Survives," warp 36 in the animated series's "The Counter-Clock Incident"), moved gracefully but slowly across your color TV screen.

But there was one place in the sixties that the U.S.S. Enterprise pulled off not only amazing speed but also extremely tight and elaborate spiral patterns: in the Gold Key Star Trek #6.

Yes, yes, I know that cover photo comes from "Amok Time," and this story has nothing to do with that. Hold on...let me adjust this a little...

There, that's better.

Stardate: 1969! Space hooligans have put cherry bombs in the warp engines of the Enterprise! Oh, there'll be trouble tonight when Scotty catches up with them!

Panels from Star Trek #6 (December 1969), script by Dick Wood, pencils and inks by Alberto Giolitti

Actually, you can't blame Italian artist Alberto Giolitti for the rocket-blasting engines of his comic book Enterprise: he was working from stills and production art like this cover art by James Bama (Doc Savage) used by Bantam for the first of its Trek novelizations by James Blish:

It's famously said that Giolitti never saw a single episode of Star Trek, even while working on the franchise. That's okay, neither did Fred Freiberger. (Zing!)

So: Stardate Danger! The Enterprise has detected two planetoids on a collision course. Upon beaming down, Kirk and his ~~away team~~ landing party discover each world is populated with an underground-dwelling civilization. Well, the heck with the Prime Directive, then! The Enterprise must save these inconveniently-located heavy metal planets! (That's "heavy metal" as in "composed of heavy metal," not populated by members of the bands Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Mötorhead...as awesome as that would be.

Kirk immediately snaps into action and orders DEEP GALAXY PENETRATION! Well, of course he does.

And this is where Sulu's dream comes true. The Enterprise ~~warps~~ blasts into high speed, moving so swiftly that it almost immediately proves Einstein's theory of relativity by duplicating itself in the next panel. That's two, two, two paychecks for Bill Shatner!

In fact, Sulu's racing the ol' 1701 so speedily that her plating shreds off. Either that, or Scotty used transparent aluminum to repair the Enterprise after the last issue. (He knows the guy who invented it.) Also, he left the shuttlecraft doors open. But to heck with it, there's metal planets to save!

Scotty tosses out an assortment of giant tribbles while Sulu does donuts around the Giant Space Egg of the Great Bird of the Galaxy! I think.

If that wasn't enough showing off his high-speed piloting skills, Sulu wraps the Enterprise around a highly magnetic asteroid in a double spiral pattern, causing the ship to audibly go "swooosh bzzzzzz!" and Chekov to throw up and then claim that womiting is a Russian inwention.

Spock makes a mental note to remind his Captain that the Enterprise is equipped with "tractor beams" and "phasers," not "magnetic mesh" and "cannons." Spock had to spend a lot of tie making corrections, and apologies, for Jim Kirk.

Sulu fires up the secondary hull rockets (probably immediately killing everyone in engineering, but hey, you cannot put a price in human lives on exciting space action like this! Towing the big magnetic asteroid behind them has a few negative effects: Sulu spends so much time looking in the rear-view mirror that he doesn't notice he's piloting the Enterprise directly into a meteor storm, and everybody's credit cards get blanked.

Look carefully at this next panel and notice it looks like the meteors have little faces with big black eyes and big smiley mouths. Once you've seen this, you can't unsee it. They're dive-bombing the Enterprise and going wheeeeeeeeee like that Geico pig all the way down!

Luckily, the magnetic personality of the asteroid persuades the kamikaze meteors to move in a different direction...look, I don't understand it any more than you do. About this time in the TV series there would be a commercial, wouldn't there? For Kirk, it's time for a piping hot delicious barrel of coffee! If she was the one to carry that onto the bridge, no wonder Janice Rand quit.

Just to show off how smart he is, Spock immediately breaks out the New York Times crossword puzzle (the Sunday one, at that) and solves it while he's computing the time they have left to complete the maneuver and/or for the dramatic music to finish up. Unusually, he's giving the calculation in "galaxy minutes," which are like regular minutes, except with more space in between them. Also, he has filled in the answer to 17-Across, "Cancelled 1960s TV series (8 letters)," as "Batmannn."

Ah ha! Now we seen the brilliant of Spock's scheme. Towing the magnetic asteroid in between the two planets will push them apart like a greased pig on the set of Hee Haw! This scientific principle is supported by the work of Newton, Galileo, and, as shown in her revered scientific treatise "Opposites Attract," Professor Paula Abdul.

Hooray! It worked! Hopefully, with a big loud BOING sound effect. Spock looks out the window and theorizes that the two planets have nothing to worry about aside from the globe-wide earthquakes, floods, fire, death, devastation, and horror. But we'll leave that for the Federation to clean up...it's time to warp off to our next adventure on The Planet of the Space Vixens! (Shatner had this specifically written into his contract.)

Special Bonus Panels!: Witness Kirk, Spock, and the blonde Scotty trapped on the planet of WHAM-O's Super-Elastic Bubble Plastic!

And here's Blonde Scotty reacting to something surprising (I dunno, maybe a Horta or a Mugato or a Salt Vampire or a Narwhal) with a traditional Scots expression of surprise!

In the same spirit of "fixing" the cover of Star TreK #6, I took it as my Prime Directive to meddle in the affairs of a less-advanced comic book and make it better by substituting more familiar Star Trek phrases for "Be-Bejabbers" (which I think is the name of a giant space slug in that Star Wars movie I was talking about earlier. There's the familiar:

...or maybe I'll try a phrase that didn't seem at home in the green-tinted mouth of Spock, what with his Vulcan uvula and all:

Let's try it with an infamous line from a movie that didn't make much sense anyway:

I'm really not certain what Scotty's pointing at in the first place. What that heck is that thing, anyway?

Make your own and post 'em for everybody to enjoy, won't you?

Star Trek, won't you?

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 3

2012-01-03T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from The Batman Strikes! #3 (January 2005), script by Bill Matheny, pencils by Christopher Jones, inks by Terry Beatty, colors by Heroic Age, letters by Pat Brosseau

The Zen of Batman: Classical Music

2012-01-02T22:00:00.000-05:00

From Batman: "The Joker Is Wild" (January 26, 1966), script by Robert Dozier

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 2

2012-01-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panel from Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #81 (March 1996), script by James Vance, pencils by Dougie Braithwaite, inks by Sean Hardy, colors by Digital Chameleon, letters by Willie Schubert

A Duckburg New Year, Day 3 (of 3)

2012-01-02T00:00:00.002-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #569 (March 1992), pencils and inks by Jukka Murtosaari

Ten of a Kind: Ten Characters Who Have Zero Chance of Ever Being Featured in "365 Days with..."

2012-01-01T20:00:00.002-05:00

And keep in mind I'd spotlight NFL Superpro before I would any of these. Hey, why not submit your own character who you'd never feature every day a year (he said, in a shameless ploy for comments)?

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

A Duckburg New Year, Day 2 (of 3)

2012-01-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #88 (January 1948), pencils by Walt Kelly, inks by Walt Kelly, Carl Buettner, and George Ward

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 1

2012-01-01T00:01:00.006-05:00

Splash page from "Here Comes Alfred!" from Batman v.1 #16 (April-May 1943), script by Don Cameron, pencils by Bob Kane, inks by Jerry Robinson, backgrounds and letters by George Roussos.
The first appearance of Alfred*, butler to Batman and Robin (and Bruce Wayne and Dick Greyson).

*Despite the title, for the purposes of this feature "Alfred Pennyworth" refers to one or more of all of the following and possible others not listed: Alfred Pennyworth of Earth-1, Alfred Beagle of Earth-2, Alan Napier Alfred, Michael Gough Alfred, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. Alfred, Michael Caine Alfred, Alfred of Elseworlds including but not limited to Don Alfredo, Alfred the Great, The Alf-Bot 3000, Lego Batman Alfred, and maybe even Alfred the Cat from Batman #666. So please: no "But that's Alfred Beagle!" comments. He's still Alfred and he's still awesome.

365 Days with Plastic Man, Day 5

2011-12-31T22:00:00.001-05:00

Cover of Kid Eternity v.3 #13 (June 1994), pencils and inks by Sean Phillips

Geez, look, if you can't find Plastic Man on this cover, well, you're just not looking hard enough.

Join us tomorrow for Day 6 with the Stretchable...

...

Okay, I admit it. I've run out of plastic puns. Sigh.

An' I gotta do 360 more of these?

...

Maybe...I'll pick somebody else to spend a year with. Hold on a bit and come right back following midnight (just after they drop Dick Clark allllll the way down off that building).

I'll find somebody a little more...flexible.

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 365

2011-12-31T17:00:00.011-05:00

Splash panel from "The End!" in Thor #145 (October 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby,
inks by Vince Colletta, letters by Sam Rosen

And so, there you go. Verily!

So: why the Warriors Three? Like The Thing (in whose pleasant company we spent 365 days in 2009) and The Beast (2010), they're characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, so they fall within that primal and basic range of Marvel characters who've been present since the early years of the Marvel Universe. As Spock would say: "Ah...the giants." Yes, there were giants in those days, and I'm not even talking just about big-as-an-Asgardian-Home-Depot Volstagg. Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg were part of the larger-than-life mythology of Lee 'n' Kirby's Asgard, but rather than adapting the ancient myths (red-headed, bearded Thor and blonde Sif among them) to modern superheroic conventions, the Warriors Three were spun out of cloth by Stan and ripped timely from the thigh of Jack. Ewwwww. Maybe I should just say they wrote and drew them.

As fictional supporting characters they began then, but they've battled their way into my heart. I'd read and enjoyed several stories featuring the W3 before I started dropping them into this little puppet-town cow-blog every day for the past 52 weeks—mainly in Walt Simsonson's legendary Thor run, as guest stars in quite possibly the best New Mutants speciall ever, and in their four solo issues in Marvel Fanfare drawn by the incomparable Charles Vess. But I didn't know much more than that about them: the dashing one, the grim one, and the fat one.

There's plenty of archetypes for heroes in packs of three throughout history, literature, myth and fiction: Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar. Mo, Larry, and Curly. Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Crosby, Still, and Nash. Sabrina, Jill, and Kelly (or, if you prefer: Dylan, Alex, and Natalie). Groucho, Chico, and Harpo. Huey, Dewey, and Louis. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Prudence, Piper, and Phoebe. Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. Jeremy, Richard, and James. Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Dmitri, Ivan, and Alexei. Ed, Edd and Eddy. Jack, Janet, and Chrissy. Manny, Moe, and Jack. Fluid Man, Coil Man, and Multi Man. Sting, Andy, and Stewart. Gödel, Escher, and Bach. Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo. Who, What, and I Don't Know. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato. Lather, Rinse, and Repeat. Reed, Sue, and Ben (in 2011). But probably Stan and Jack were most influenced by Athos (a planet on Stargate Atlantis), Aramis (a manly scent for manly men), and Porthos (first beagle aboard a warp-class starship). Oh, and D'Artagnan. Which makes four. Somebody needs to write Monsieur Dumas and let him know that. Also, that they are always carrying swords and not muskets.

Anyway, back to the Warriors Three: the dashing one (Douglas Fairbanks), the grim one (Charles Bronson), and the comic relief one (Falstaff, probably), begin as pretty broad caricatures, but it's clear that Stan and Jack have more in mind for them pretty early on with one of the first extended "Tales of Asgard" (Thor #137 starts this tale off) delving into the history of Hogun. But it's especially during Walt Simonson's run that all the Warriors step forward with distinct heroic personalities of their own. Volstagg started out as not much more than a bluffing braggart with a (big) yellow belly, but under the pen of Mr. Simonson he saves Asgard and Midgard, adopts a pair of Earth orphans, cheers up (and fills out) Balder, and sits on an insurgent and tells him tales of bravery rather than immediately strike him down. By the mid-eighties, Volstagg is shown to have a true soul: maybe not the most ept of Asgardians, but the one with the biggest heart. The expansion, if you forgive the word, of Volstagg is one of those rare personality jump-starts that isn't immediately retconned after Simonson leaves the title. And the old gag of Mrs. Volstagg being a shrew is finally tempered by his great love for her (not to mention their double-digit numbers of offspring). Here's a particularly touching scene I didn't get a chance to fit in over the past year from a post-Simonson Thor:

Panels from Thor #397 (November 1988), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Ron Frenz,
inks by Brett Breeding and Don Heck, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Jack Morelli

Volstagg even comes off well during one of the series' lower periods, The "Lost Gods" serial in the post-Onslaught replacement for Thor, Journey Into Mystery, as a chunky TV chef with a metal skillet to bash baddies' skulls. I think if you count up the number of times I've used each of the three Warriors this year, you'll find Volstagg far out in the lead. The writers and artists love him a lot, and so do I.

But it's together...all for one and one for all...that the Warriors battle on into our legends and our hearts. It's been a good year to be a Warriors Three fan: several high-profile Thor comics and books have featured the W3. There was that fairly entertaining movie which coulda been made even better with more Joshua Dallas, Tadanobu Asano, and especially a hundred or so more pounds of Ray Stevenson. 2011 saw the publication of the first Warriors Three miniseries, and the republishing in trade form of several more tales from Marvel's past history. And despite the grim and gritty landscape of the past several years of the Marvel Universe, the Warriors Three (especially Volstagg) have taken important roles right up front, from their post-Civil War return to Midgard following Ragnarok, to crashed Asgard of Siege, to the counter and kitchen of Bill's Diner in Broxton, Oklahoma, to quite possibly one of the finest Volstagg and Family stories of recent years (Journey Into Mystery #630).

So if you learned and laughed and enjoyed and wondered at this feature every day at five pm (Asgard Central Time) for the past three-hundred-sixty-five...well, I'm with you on that one. I've come to know and love the Warriors Three more than ever.

Rudyard Kipling wrote:

One man in a thousand, Solomon says,
Will stick more close than a brother.
And it's worth while seeking him half your days
If you find him before the other.
Nine nundred and ninety-nine depend
On what the world sees in you,
But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend
With the whole round world agin you.

...

...The Thousandth Man will stand by your side
To the gallows-foot—and after!

Thor's one of the luckiest ones in the Marvel Universe: like Ben Grimm, like Alex Power...he has three that stand beside him, all the way to Valhalla.

Panel from Thor: Vikings #5 (January 2004), script by Garth Ennis, pencils and inks by Glenn Fabry,
colors by Paul Mounts, letters by Dave Sharpe

But let's not ponder on inevitable, once-in-an-eon Ragnarok (which has happened about seven times so far in the Marvel Universe)...let's go out the way so many of those grand Thor issues go out...with a mighty roar, a hoisting of arms, and a cheer for Asgard!
Panel from Thor #250 (August 1976), script by Len Wein, breakdowns by John Buscema,
finishes by Tony DeZuniga, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by John Costanza

There'll always be an Asgard. And there'll always be a Warriors Three. So say we all!

A Duckburg New Year, Day 1 (of 3)

2011-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #28 (January 1943), pencils and inks by Carl Buettner

365 Days with Plastic Man, Day 4

2011-12-30T21:00:00.004-05:00

Panels from Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #69 (March 1995), script by Steven Grant, pencils and inks by Mike Zeck, colors by Digital Chameleon, letters by Willie Schubert

Join us tomorrow for Day 5 with the Pliable Person! He's going to...look, I just don't have a bending pun today for you, okay?

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 364

2011-12-30T17:00:00.003-05:00

Two-page pin-up spread from Thor #459 (February 1993), by John Buscema
(Click picture to Volstagg-size)

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 30

2011-12-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #112 (January 1950), pencils and inks by Walt Kelly

If I Wrote All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder

2011-12-29T21:45:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time, oh, 'bout six anna quarter years ago, I did a post with pretty much this same joke, right around the time All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder came out...the infamous "G**d*** Batman" issue. But I've now gotten much better at Photoshoppery fakiness, so I figured (both in need to fill something during a quiet week and to amuse pal Mighty Mike Sterling during his low content week...here it is again, but better-produced this time. "If I Wrote All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder"...I think it would go...something like this:

Jim Lee, I've got my scriptbook right here and I'm ready and willing to move into the DC Bullypen at a moment's notice.

365 Days with Plastic Man, Day 3

2011-12-29T21:00:00.001-05:00

Panels from Green Lantern v.3 #68 (September 1996), script by Ron Marz, pencils by Darryl Banks, inks by Romeo Tanghal, colors by Pamela Rambo, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

Join us tomorrow for Day 4 with the Malleable Mister! He'll bend over backwards for you!

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 363

2011-12-29T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panel from Thor Annual #5 (1976), script by Steve Englehart, breakdowns by John Buscema, finishes by Tony DeZuniga, colors by Don Warfield, letters by San Jose

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 29

2011-12-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #76 (January 1947), pencils and inks by Walt Kelly

365 Days with Plastic Man, Day 2

2011-12-28T21:00:00.002-05:00

Panels from Justice League Unlimited #10 (August 2005), script by Adam Beechen, pencils by Carlo Barberi, inks by Walden Wong, colors by Heroic Age, letters by Phil Balsman

Join us tomorrow for Day 3 with the Bendable Being! He'll do in a stretch!

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 362

2011-12-28T17:00:00.004-05:00

Panel from Thor #386 (December 1987), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Ron Frenz, inks by Brett Breeding, colors by Paul Becton, letters by John Workman, Jr.

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 28

2011-12-28T00:00:00.002-05:00

Walt Disney's Christmas Parade v.1 #1 (November 1949), pencils by Walt Kelly, inks by Carl Buettner

365 Days with Plastic Man, Day 1

2011-12-27T21:00:00.000-05:00

I know 2011 and a Year of the Warriors Three isn't even over yet, but I'm so excited about my next daily feature that I'm starting it up early! It's a bit of a stretch, but I hope you enjoy ...

Panel from Legion of Super-Heroes v.3 #37 (August 1987), script by Paul Levitz, pencils by Greg LaRocque, inks by Mike DeCarlo, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by John Costanza

What's that, you say? You can't find our pliable Mister O'Brien in that panel? Well, here's a hint:

Join us tomorrow for Day 2 with the Elastic Entrepreneur! He'll put a little bounce in your step!

Behind the Music: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

2011-12-27T19:00:00.006-05:00

For years it has been a popular holiday favorite of school children everywhere.

But what began as a playground skipping rhyme has become perhaps one of the most vicious taunts...and a dangerous challenge...to one of the world's most renowned crimefighters. But with its sudden fame came an intense backlash as a tease by tots turned into a killing joke. For every peal of laughter, there's the tears...of a clown.

Its origins...unknown. Its derivation: lost to time. But again and again this sinister rhyme bedevils the crimefighters, both costumed and official, of Gotham City:

...but none so much as the nefarious foes of Gothan's caped crusader, the Dark Knight known as Batman, and his cadre of costumed sidekicks:

But...are these lethal lyrics true? Does, Batman, in fact, smell?

Is it simply a malicious urban legend...or did the Batmobile really...lose a wheel?

Many half claimed creatorship of the malignantly mocking music. The Penguin asserts he wrote it on a cold night in jail. Bane has been heard to hum it while cracking the backs of his victims. Two-Face says he wrote two lines of it. The is the author of this threatening tune actually...the one who got away?

Or is this corrupt and criminal clown bedeviled as well by these loathsome lyrics?

When we return...the truth behind the most criminal carol of them all!

(And now, these commercial messages:)

We're back. We've seen that the most dangerous weapon against the ebon-garbed hero known as Batman is the melodic mockery known as "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells." But the true origin of this torturous tune has been unknown...until now. Behind the Music now brings the world the true origin of "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells: What It Is and How It Came to Be!"

from "Batman Smells" in Bizarro World (February 2005), script by Patton Oswalt, pencils and inks by Bob Fingerman, colors by Dave Stewart

Next week on Behind the Music: is she really fighting for your rights in her satin tights...or are they made of polyester? On "Behind the Music: The Theme from 'Wonder Woman!'"

Click image to hear the Joker sing "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells!" (Video will open in new window.)

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 361

2011-12-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

Page from Thor #170 (November 1969), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Bill Everett, letters by Artie Simek

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 27

2011-12-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Uncle Scrooge #16 (December 1956-February 1957), pencils and inks by Carl Barks

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 360

2011-12-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panel from "The Meaning of Christmas" in Marvel Holiday Special 2007 one-shot (February 2008), script by Mike Carey, pencils and inks by Nelson*, colors by Andrew Crossley, letters by Dave Sharpe

*Haw, haw!

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 26

2011-12-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #100 (January 1949), pencils and inks by Walt Kelly

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 359

2011-12-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

Page from Journey Into Mystery #632 (February 2012), script by Kieron Gillen, pencils and inks by Mitch Breitweiser, colors by Bettie Breitweiser, letters by Clayton Cowles. And after searching every issue of Thor for a Christmas story, boy am I glad this got published a couple weeks ago. It's a Christmas miracle!

A Christmas Message from Marge Simpson

2011-12-25T15:00:00.001-05:00

Although it's been said many times many ways

2011-12-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 25

2011-12-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Four Color #367 [Walt Disney's Donald Duck] (January 1952), pencils and inks by Carl Barks

Same Story, Different Cover: Some folks drive the bears out of the wilderness

2011-12-24T19:00:00.006-05:00

L: Four Color #178 (December 1947), pencils and inks by Dan Gormley
R: Walt Disney's Donald Duck Adventures #9 (February 1991), pencils and inks by Rick Hoover
(Click picture to bruin-size)

Of course, since Disney comic book stories are frequently reprinted every few years (especially the great ones like this), that's not the only two covers you'll find Carl Barks's classic "Christmas on Bear Mountain" behind. Here's a few others:

Note the Walt Disney's Comics and Stories reprint in the lower left-hand corner, featuring a grimacing Uncle Scrooge. Why, that's adapted directly from Carl Barks's art from the story itself!

Why the focus on Uncle Scrooge in a Donald Duck story? For a very simple and historically important debut: it's the first appearance of Scrooge McDuck in this very story, not quite evolved into his final form (he's a bit of a grumpy, misogynist trickster in "Christmas on Bear Mountain.") This story is actually such a vital and lynchpin moment in Duck history that it's commemorated on stamps published in the Commonwealth of Dominica...

...and Guyana!:

It's such a vital point in Scrooge's ficto-history that acclaimed duck storyteller Don Rosa sets the final chapter of his Life & Times Of Scrooge McDuck saga immediately following "Christmas on Bear Mountain," beginning the transformation of the early Barks Scrooge into the high-adventure character he later became. Rosa's attention to detail is so precise that even the scene setting in the panels below are the same for Barks (top) and Rosa (bottom)!

Keeping in the Christmas spirit, here's a poster by Don Rosa celebrating the many Christmastime adventures of Scrooge McDuck!

So if you're in an irritable and cranky mood, or just feeling sad and sorry for yourself...

...then snap outta it! (in my Cher voice). Just go and read yourself a Carl Barks or Don Rosa Uncle Scrooge or Donald Duck Christmas adventure. Like watching one of those heartwarming christmas commercials like the guy coming home to Folger's coffee or the Santa Claus who can speak German or the Santa skiing on the electric razor, it'll cheer your heart and bring a little bit of Christmas special to you that'll last all the way through tomorrow's delicious roast duck dinner.

Merry Christmas from Duckburg, everyone!

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 358

2011-12-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Thor #373 (November 1986), script by Walt Simonson, pencils and inks by Sal Buscema, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by John Workman, Jr.

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 24

2011-12-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

The Carl Barks Library of 1940s Donald Duck Christmas Giveaways in Color one-shot (November 1992), cover artist unknown (but to my admittedly inexpert eyes it looks like a panel from Carl Barks's "Three Good Little Ducks" in Firestone Christmas Giveaway 1947, with new figures (by Don Rosa? The eyes seem to look like his) added over the art. "Cover design by Bruce Hamilton" is the only credit given.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?*

2011-12-23T22:00:00.005-05:00

I've been guilty in the past (for example, here and here) of making the accusation that Batman can't tell a joke. Now, however, after much urging from the Batman Anti-Defamation Society (B.A.D.S.), I present some compelling arguments that Batman can indeed tell a joke. And you'll laugh. Oh, you bet you are gonna laugh.

Panels from Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #131 (July 2000), script by Dennis O'Neil, pencils by Sergio Cariello, inks by Matt Ryan, colors by Rick Taylor, letters by Willie Schubert

Well, that's only because he hasn't had any needlepoint prep time. Anyway, what do you think he keeps Harold around for? Harold's a master with the cross-stitch. (As seen in Batman's Friends and Foes #54, "The Nefarious Needlepoint Nonsense!," March 1957)

A long-time professional at battle insane criminal masterminds based on Alice's Adventures In Wonderland like the Mad Hatter, Tweedledee and Tweeledum, and Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, Batman's pretty well acquainted with humor of the absurd. It's been rumored the Dark Knight has up to three dozen joke writers on staff to generate these quips for him, most of them locked in shackles in a lower level of the Batcave. They also script-write the TV show Whitney.

Panels from JLA Classified #1 (January 2005), script by Grant Morrison, pencils by Ed McGuiness, inks by Dexter Vines, colors by Dave McCaig, letters by Phil Balsman

But if there's anything Batman does well, it's dark. His favorite type of night? Dark. (Also, his favorite type of knight.) His favorite publishing company? Why, Dark Horse, of course. His favorite kind of candy bar? Milky Way Dark. The way he takes his coffee? Milk, two sugars, in a styrofoam cup. And his favorite type of humor? Oh, man, you gotta believe it's darrrrrrk.

Panels from Batman & Superman Adventures: World's Finest one-shot (February 1997), script and co-plot by Paul Dini, co-plot by Alan Burnett, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Terry Beatty, colors by Linda Medley, letters by Albert DeGuzman

Even Harley had to laugh at that one.

Look, I know. Batman is not gonna give stand-up greats like George Carlin, Lenny Bruce or Bill Hicks a run for their money on the stage of Dangerfield's. (Then again, let's see one of them bring in the Joker!) But even if Batman isn't the number one jokester in the DC Universe, at least I'm sure we can find somebody who's worse at telling a joke on Earth-1, right?

Panels from Justice League of America v.1 #112 (July-August 1974), script by Len Wein, pencils by Dick Dillin, inks by Dick Giordano, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Ben Oda

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they keep Green Arrow around the DC Universe: so nobody else feels like they're the worst at anything.

* 'My mother is DEAAAAAAAAAAD!'

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 357

2011-12-23T17:00:00.001-05:00

I'm only going to reproduce a small piece of Chris Samnee's wonderful Thor-at-Christmas piece so that you click through and see it at his own site! I promise, it's gorgeous and worth it! And, yes, Jane, there is a Santa Claus!
Portion of Chris Samnee's Thor Christmas piece. Click through to see it!

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 23

2011-12-23T00:00:00.002-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #633 (February 1999), pencils and inks by Hank Porter (?), colors by Gary Leach

To live outside the law you must be honest and have adamantium claws

2011-12-22T22:00:00.001-05:00

At last, the law has prevailed and justice is served! Our long national nightmare is over!

I'm shocked, shocked to find that video piracy is going on in the internet! (I think it's over there in a very tiny corner, right next to the dirty photos.) Well, as I learned in " Bruce Wayne: Murderer", there's no video piracy in prison! (Also: no crying in baseball.) Pirates are, of course, a cowardly and superstitious lot (what with the Black Spots and hooks and parrots and grog), so however harsh the sentence, this guy shoulda known he'd never get away with it, thanks to those meddling mutants. After all, it's well-known, on official record, and even more important, it's canon that Wolverine does not tolerate theft of intellectual and creative property! Bub.

Panels from Wolverine: First Class #16 (August 2009), script by Peter David; pencils, inks, and colors by Gurihiru; letters by Ris Wooton

In order to assiduously protect his own copyright, Wolverine is now pursuing action through both legal and violent means against the University of Michigan Wolverines...

...mainly for their copying of his trademark blue-and-yellow uniform.

Not to mention tackling, in state supreme court and in dirty dark back alleys, Wolverine Boots...

...Wolverine Beer...

...the Wolverine Mutual Insurance Company...

And then he'll be targeting this guy.

Out of professional respect and concern for the safety of his own eyeballs, however, Wolverine will not be issuing legal writs or claws against this guy:

So, to sum up: always remember that Wolverine is the intellectual pirate's worst enemy.

Panels from Wolverine: First Class #18 (August 2009), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Francis Portella, colors by Jim Charalampidis, letters by Joe Caramagna

Next time you're downloading something from the internet, be careful! You'll never hear the snikt with your name on it until it's too late.

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 356

2011-12-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Warriors Three #2 (February 2011), script by Bill Willingham, pencils by Neil Edwards, inks by Scott Hanna, colors by Fabio D'Auria, letters by Clayton Cowles

A Duckburg Disneyland Christmas, Day 22

2011-12-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

Christmas in Disneyland one-shot (December 1957), pencilled by Tony Strobl, painted by Norm McGary

Here's What I Don't Get: When times are mysterious, serious numbers are easy to please

2011-12-21T20:00:00.004-05:00

Now here's what I don't get.... (Geez, he's only been dead a few weeks and already I'm turning into Andy Rooney.)

So: Deadpool MAX ended with issue #12, cover-dated November 2011. Gsh, so long, Mister Deadpool Max, and with luck perhaps someday someone will bring back your comic book with a brand-new #1 issue...

...maybe, the very next month.

In the words of my Grampy Bull: what th' Sam Scratch is goin' on here?!? Sure, I know it's all the rage for comic books these days to end and start again with all-different brand-spankin'-new number ones, but when a November book is ended and a December book starts and there's no break in the storyline or characters why don't you just call that one #13, huh?

Why, that's ridiculous. Imagine if restarting a comic book every time a storyline finished had been the rule rather than the exception, huh? Go ahead...imagine it! You'd have this...

...followed by this!

...followed by this...

...followed by this...

...followed by...oh, you get the idea. Oh, in case you're wondering "what happened to issue #138 in there?" Well, of course it too would be renumbered:

Seriously, Marvel! This ridiculousness has got to stop. If you insist on renumbering everything back to number one, someday we might get something like this:

...and nobody wants that.

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 355

2011-12-21T17:00:00.001-05:00

Page from Thor #155 (August 1968), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Vince Colletta, letters by Artie Simek

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 21

2011-12-21T00:00:00.003-05:00

Four Color #203 [Walt Disney's Donald Duck] (December 1948), pencils and inks by Carl Barks

Hey, I'm back!

2011-12-20T21:00:00.001-05:00

...and I'm sorry about the extended hiatus. Hiatus: from the Latin hiare: to yawn. Yep, it was my own fault that I touched that poisoned needle and ate that poisoned apple and went to stay at the Rip van Winkle Motor Lodge and...well, it took me a while and I had to borrow a time machine from Doc Doom, but I'm back! Of course, a couple weeks ago there was The Big Wedding, followed by The Big Winter Cold. Yep...Black Widow knows exactly I feel, huh, Miss Nastasha?

Panel from Daredevil #98 (April 1973), script by Gerry Conway and Steve Gerber, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Ernie Chan, colors by George Roussos, letters by John Costanza

Black Widow: she hasn't got time for the pain. Also, when she says the word "out," she pronounces it "oooooooout." Hey, she's not from Russia; she's from Canada!

Anyway, during my cold, I was in even more pain, and I hadn't been hit by the Rhino. Six thousand eighteen sniffles and a bucket of Robitussin later, I finally put my pajamas in the wash and got dressed and out of bed.

Hmmm, what else have I been up to? Oh, yeah! I made an action movie.

Also, I bought a zoo.

So, yeah, that's pretty much what I've been up to.

Tomorrow: join me as I ask the musical question "Here's Something I Don't Get.*"

*Not actually a question.

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 354

2011-12-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Panels from Thor #180 (September 1970), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Neal Adams, inks by Joe Sinnott, letters by Sam Rosen

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 20

2011-12-20T00:00:00.002-05:00

Uncle Scrooge #296 (February 1996), pencils and inks by Don Rosa, colors by Susan Daigle-Leach

I'm hurrying on my way back home!

2011-12-19T22:00:00.003-05:00

...but I'm taking it carefully because I don't want to get hit by a car.

Remember: cross at the green and not in between. And look both ways! And wear a warm coat!

Tomorrow I'll tell you all the exciting things I've been up to while away. And if you're good, then yes, I did bring you something! (It's in my pocket. Sorry, I've chewed it already.)

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 353

2011-12-19T17:00:00.001-05:00

Panel from Thor #168 (September 1969), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by George Klein, letters by Artie Simek

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 19

2011-12-19T00:00:00.003-05:00

Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #4 (January 1941), cover artist unknown

365 Days with the Warriors Three, Day 352

2011-12-18T17:00:00.004-05:00

Panel from Marvel Fanfare #36 (January 1988), script by Alan Zelenetz, pencils and inks by Charles Vess, colors by Elaine Lee, letters by John Workman

A Duckburg Christmas, Day 18

2011-12-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

Walt Disney's Uncle Scrooge #336 (December 2004), pencils and inks by Ulrich Schröeder, colors by Sue Kolberg