A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 11: Bruce is terrible at Trivial Pursuit

Panels from Batman/Superman #1 (August 2013); script by Greg Pak, pencils and inks by Jae Lee, colors by June Chung, letters by Rob Leigh

Today in Comics History: Another slow news day in the Marvel Universe

Page from Marvel Two-in-One Annual #7 (1982); script by Tom DeFalco; pencils by Ron Wilson; inks by Bob Camp, Mike Esposito, Frank Giacoia, Dan Green, Armando Gil, and Chic Stone; colors by George Roussos; letters by Jim Novak

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 163: Spider-Man Loves Donuts

Panels from Spider-Man/Human Torch #3 (May 2005), script by Dan Slott, pencils by Ty Templeton, inks by Nelson and Tom Palmer, colors by Sotocolor, letters by Dave Lanphear

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 10: But that trick never works

Panels from Batman (1940 series) #686 (April 2009); script by Neil Gaiman, pencils by Andy Kubert, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Alex Sinclair, letters by Jared K. Fletcher

Today in Comics History: Andy Warhol regrets he didn't take the elevator

Page from "Notes from the Underground" in Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham #3 (December 2015), script by Neil Gaiman, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks and colors by Sam Parsons, letters by Wayne Truman

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 162: The heart wants what it wants

Panels from Spider-Man (1990 series) #13 (August 1991); script, pencils, inks, and letters by Todd McFarlane; colors by Gregory Wright

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 9: That night Jiminy Cricket died too

Panels from Batman #622 (February 2004), script by Brian Azzarello, pencils and inks by Eduardo Risso, colors by Patricia Mulvihill, letters by Clem Robins

Today in Comics History: Newspaper recaps comic book; J. Jonah Jameson demands Spider-Man's head

First page from She-Hulk (2004 series) #4 (August 2004), script by Dan Slott, pencils by Juan Bobillo, inks by Marcelo Sosa, colors by Chris Chuckry, letters by Dave Sharpe

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 161: J. Jonah Jameson will never eat toasted cheese before bedtime again

Panels from Spider-Man & the Secret Wars #4 (May 2010); script by Paul Tobin; pencils by Patrick Scherberger and Clayton Henry; inks by Terry Pallot, Patrick Scherberger, and Clayton Henry; colors by Brad Anderson; letters by Dave Sharpe

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 8: Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go see "Zorro Goes to Egypt"

Panels from Batman and Robin Eternal #1 (December 2015); co-plot by James Tynion IV and Scott Snynder, script by James Tynion IV, pencils by Tony Daniel, inks by Sandu Florea, colors by Tomeu Morey, letters by Tom Napolitano

Wacky &%@#$in' Races

Wacky Races! The classic cartoon that promises thrills! Adventure! Excitement! Laughs! Romance! Well, maybe not romance, unless it's the ever-lovin' romance between cars and men! And one woman. And a pair of cavemen, some monsters, a bear and a beaver. 11 racers driving incredible cars across bizarre terrains doing stunts so wild I'm surprised they haven't tried to reproduce them on Top Gear or Mythbusters.

Tho' the show lasted for only one short season in 1968, a mere seventeen episodes nearly fifty years ago, the characters and concepts have been near to our hearts and close in our fondness for Saturday Morning Cartoon comfort. I've always been surprised the cartoon has never been resurrected, or that they tried to turn it into a major motion picture (Sarah Jessica Parker as Penelope Pitstop! George Clooney as Peter Perfect! James Gandolfini as Clyde of the Ant Hill Mob! Matt Frewer as Professor Pat Pending! John Goodman as Rufus Ruffcut! Christoph Waltz as The Red Max! Dustin Hoffman as Dick Dastardly! And Jerry Mathers as the beaver.) But it's probably all for the good that nobody ever thought it possible or necessary to redo and update Wacky Races. Until, um, now.

DC has just released issue #1 of the new comic Wacky Raceland, which reimagines the entire concept as a post-apocalyptic battle for life and salvation against the ruins and terrors of the ravaged Earth. It's nastier, bloodier, more cyberpunky (the cars are sentient; Muttley is part cybernetic), and definitely not for children or little stuffed bulls of a nervous disposition. I think you'd win your bet saying that the creators saw Mad Max: Fury Road more than a few times. When every racer is as ruthless and dangerous as Dick Dastardly, who will win the final prize of escape to a safe haven? Completely over the top and a gruesomely dark-humored, Wacky Raceland uses the word "asshat" more often than any other DC comic, except perhaps for old issues of Lobo.


Panels from Wacky Raceland #1 (August 2016), script by Ken Pontac, pencils and inks by Leonardo Manco, colors by Mariana Sanzone, letters by Sal Cipriano
Still, I think the creators of Wacky Raceland have forgotten the successful adult-geared comic book series of a few years ago which updated the old cartoon for a modern, more open-minded audience, a comic that brought grown-up sensibilities and mature situations to the world of Hanna-Barbera. Let's take a look at some panels from that old series, shall we? yes! Let's!

Of course, because this blog is intended for kids from six to sixty, I've censored the offending language to make the comic appropriate for all ages. Enjoy!














There you are, folks: the adult-themed Wacky Races. Join us next time for the sequel, the adult-themed Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines:

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 160: I HATE Spider-Man

Panels from Startling Stories: The Megalomaniacal Spider-Man one-shot (June 2002); script, pencils, inks, and letters by Peter Bagge, colors by Laura Allred

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 7: I'll save you, Mom and Dad!...whoops.

Panels from Justice League: Darkseid War: Batman one-shot (December 2015); script by Peter J. Tomasi, pencils by Fernando Pasarin, inks by Matt Ryan, colors by Gabe Eltaeb, letters by Dave Sharpe

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 159: The only menace I see here is that barred I

Dodge Caliber ad, printed in Marvel Comics cover-dated June 2004
Admittedly, that's pot/kettle, as you can look back in this very same stuffed blog here and find me using barred Is all over the place. But I'd like to think I've learned better (I have), and that a professional advertising designer would be held to a higher standard.

Then again: Dodge Caliber.

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 6: The Waynes are shot by Barney Rubble's adopted son

Panels from Flashpoint: Batman, Knight of Vengeance #1 (August 2011); script by Brian Azzarello, pencils and inks by Eduardo Risso, colors by Patricia Mulvihill, letters by Clem Robins

Today in Comics History: Black Cat steals Joan Jett's band

Panels from Spider-Gwen (April 2015 series) #5 (August 2015), script by Jason Latour, pencils and inks by Robbi Rodriguez, colors by Rico Renzi, letters by Clayton Cowles

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 158: Don't make Jonah angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Panels from "Taps, Part 2: Despair" in Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #206 (November 1993), script by Steven Grant, pencils by Walter McDaniel, inks by Matt Banning, colors by Michael Higgins, letters by Joe Rosen

Today in Comics History: Once again, Peter Parker doesn't get a byline for his photographs

Splash page from "The Widow and the Militants" in Amazing Adventures (1970 series) #3 (November 1970), script by Gary Friedrich, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Bill Everett, letters by Artie Simek
(This page is immediately followed by these panels, which I shoulda saved for today!)

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 5: You know, a lot of this could have been avoided if we just stayed home and watched it on Blu-Ray

Panels from Secret Origins (2014 series) #2 (July 2014); script by Ray Fawkes, pencils by Dustin Nguyen, inks by Derek Fridolfs, colors by John Kalisz, letters by Dezi Sienty

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 157: Attack of the Giant Lettering

Panels from Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #86 (January 1984), script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Fred Hembeck, inks by Joe Albelo, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Joe Rosen