Saturday, May 07, 2016

Psylocke Psaturday: And yet, we're still not out of The X-Tinction Agenda

Psreviously, on Psylocke Psaturday...


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #271 (December 1990), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski and L. Lois Buhalis

...Cameron Hodge, a.k.a. X-Factor's greatest villain (snicker), had just captured Wolverine and out purple-haired point of this pseries of psosts, Psylocke! Disclaimer: As Miss Olivia Munn is out ill from our theatre tonight, the role of Psylocke will be played by Emma Stone.

In fact, as crossover ish X-Factor #61 tells us, a whole lotta mutants have been trapped like Mars flies in a klein bottle. Also, they've been, completely violating the Geneva Convention, cruelly imprisoned without a background. This human rights transgression later inspired the United Nations to adopt worldwide the controversial Colletta Accords.


Panel from X-Factor (1986 series) #61 (December 1990), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove with John Caponigro, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Mike Rockwitz, letters by Joe Rosen

Being caught, imprisoned, and robbed of their powers hardly ever happens to the X-Men, so you're not likely to see this scene at any time in the immediate future.


Panel from X-Men #272 (January 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas and Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski

OH FOR PETE'S SAKE COMIC BOOK

The world is immediately outraged by this news that shakes the nations! Commenting on the subject is a Marvel Comics editor, the world's most verbose man, an Orion lawyer, and Sunspot's dad.


Even this guy, on his way over to Netflix's Daredevil set, has a word or two to say.


Of course, the X-Men are strong and resistant, and not a single X-Man or X-Woman or X-Beast is going to crumple under the terrific pressure of being handcuffed on top of a platform and


OH COME ON NOW BETSY

Oh, it's a trick. Okay, Psylocke, you're forgiven. This time. Ten points from Gryffindor Claremont, however, for not using the obvious Pat Benatar "hit me with your best shot" reference in panels one and two. It was right there staring at you, Chris!


Everybody run
Psylocke's got a gun



More or less "meanwhile", Psylocke's not the only X-Men fleeing. Let's just take a quick glance at Pre-Teen Storm™ (action figure available now from Toy Biz!) make her escape by (snicker) hiding in a laundry basket (hee hee hee) that's being loaded onto a truck for (snicker snicker) Geno-Sheen Custom Laundry! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA oh you were serious Louise Simonson I'm so sorry.


Panels from X-Factor #60 (November 1990), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Joe Rosen

Then (just so you know how this all ends, pretty much), Havoc zaps Cameron Hodge to pieces. Boom! End of villain.


Panels from X-Factor #62 (January 1991), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jon Bogdanove, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by "Task Force Z2"

Well, that's taken care of him. Oh wait! He's still here! Zap 'im, Cyclops! Yay! Truly then, this is the end of Cameron Hodge!


OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD he's got more death scenes that the Terminator and the Anti-Moniutor put together!


Zapt him Jean! Zapt him good! HOORAY THUS ENDETH CAMERON HODGE FOREVER


Um...okay, then...FINISH HIM, RAHNE! (tapping fingers impatiently)


And then Rictor buries him under the biggest building collapse until 9/11. Oh, that won't terrify and scar New Yorkers at all, X-Men. GOOD JOB, MUTANTS.


Then, everybody gathers on stage for the traditional obligatory post-apocalyptic battle team portrait. Say 'Claremont,' everybody!


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #273 (February 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Whilce Portacio, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Tom Orzechowski

Next issue: Claremont makes sure we all know each other's names, and Psylocke seems to be the only one not bothered by tentacle porn:


Panels from Uncanny X-Men #274 (March 1991), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Whilce Portacio, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Pat Brosseau

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 7: Light of the world, shine on me / Shotgun is the answer



Panels from Batman #205 (September 1968), script by Frank Robbins, pencils by Irv Novick, inks by Joe Giella

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 128: Image Consultant



Panels from Spider-Man/Badrock #2 (March 1997); script by Dan Jurgens; pencils by Dan Fraga; inks by Lary Stucker, Jonathan Sibal, John Livesay, and Norm Rapmund; colors by Don Skinner, Ron Rife, Tanya, Jeff Voeltner, Brett Evans, Andy Troy; letters by Richard Starkings, Albert Deschesne; and Kiff Scholl

Friday, May 06, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 6: Batmans Gots Guns

Panels from the untitled backup story in Batman (2011 series) #38 (March 2015), script by James Tynion IV, pencils and inks by Sam Keith, colors by Ronda Pattison, letters by Travis Lanham
(Click picture to 155-mm-size)

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 127: '"Hey Jonah!" "OH YEAH!"


"A Day at the Daily Bugle" pin-up from Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5 (November 1968), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Larry Lieber and John Romita Sr., inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek and Morrie Kuramoto

Thursday, May 05, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 5: Batman suddenly discovers how much fun a gun can be



Panels from Batman: Death of Innocents one-shot (December 1996), script by Dennis O'Neil, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, colors by Ian Laughlin, letters by John Costanza

Today in Comics History: Innocent typewriter escapes from madman, briefly


Panels from Venom: Seed of Darkness #-1 (one-shot) (July 1997), script by Len Kaminski, pencils by James Fry, inks by Chris Ivy, colors by Tom Smith, letters by Jim Novak

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 126: Mostly just another excuse to post a Romita Gwen Stacy panel


Panels from Spectacular Spider-Man (168 series) #1 (July 1968), script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by John Romita Sr. and Jim Mooney, letters by Sam Rosen

Today in Comics History: Aunt May's birthday present from Peter is a five-pack of Dos Equis and a sombrero

Today: it's the two hundred and eighth birthday of everybody's favorite Marisa Tomei impersonator, Aunt May Reilly Parker Jameson!


Panel from Spider-Man Free Comic Book Day 2007 one-shot (May 2007), script by Dan Slott, pencils by Phil Jimenez, inks by Andy Lanning and John Dell, colors by Jeromy Cox, letters by Chris Eliopoulos and Cory Petit

I don't know if this is the first canon reference to her birthday, but of course she could have only been born in May. It all makes perfect sense, just like Spider-Man's mother November Fitzpatrick Parker. I'm just kidding there: Pete's mother's pre-married name was Mary Jane Fitzpatrick. "Mary Jane?" Oh...dear.

Anyway, it's liable to be a hootin' and hollerin' South of the Border flavored celebration taking place on Cinco de Mayo!

Click panel to Spider-Area in Your Face-size

So, Happy Mexican Birthday, Aunt May!


Wednesday, May 04, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 4: Commissioner Gordon Walks, Is Beat



Panels from "Commissioner Gordon Walks a Beat!" in Detective Comics #121 (March 1947), pencils and inks by Howard Sherman

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 125: Whatever happened to Cecil "Spike" Wilson?


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #64 (September 1968), script by Stan Lee, layouts by John Romita Sr., finished pencils by Don Heck, inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Artie Simek

Tuesday, May 03, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 3: Batman does not like the new James Bond



Panels from Batman: Shadow of the Bat #60 (March 1997), script by Alan Grant, pencils by Dave Taylor, inks by Stan Woch, colors by Pam Rambo, color separations by Android Images, letters by Bill Oakley

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 124: It's too much, man, let it all hang out


Splash page of "The Wings and the Web-Slinger" from Spidey Super Stories #5 (February 1975), script by Jean Thomas, pencils by Win Mortimer, inks by Mike Esposito and Tony Mortellaro, letters by Artie Simek

Monday, May 02, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 2: Don't shoot on the subway, Batman



Panel from Batman: Odyssey (2011 limited series) #2 (January 2012); script and pencils by Neal Adams; inks by one or more of the following: Bill Sienkiewicz, Neal Adams, Paul Neary, and Michael Golden; colors by Ginger Karalexis, Cory Adams, and Moose Baumann; letters by Ken Lopez

Today in Comics History: Andrea Hope misses her one chance to be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe


Panels from Deathlok (2014 series) #6 (May 2015), script by Nathan Edmondson, pencils and inks by Mike Perkins, colors by Andy Troy, letters by Joe Sabino

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 123: Untold Tales of Peter Parker's Puberty


Panels from Untold Tales of Spider-Man #2 (October 1995), script by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Pat Olliffe, inks by Al Vey and Pam Eklund, colors by Steve Mattsson, letters by Richard Starkings

Sunday, May 01, 2016

A Month of... Batman's Got a Gun, Day 1: Now that Batman's got a gun he ain't never gonna be the same

Everybody run
Batman's got a gun!


All sung to the tune of that popular '80s hit that probably shouldn't be played today:


If there's any superhero or costumed crimefighter who is more a figurative wasp up the literal nose of Earth-1's NRA, it's Batman. (The NRA fully support Batman's begunnéd protege Red Hood, however.) Does Batman like guns? Well, let's check:


Panels from "The Night of the Shadow!" in Batman #259 (November-December 1974), script by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Irv Novick, inks by Dick Giordano

He does not like guns, Commissioner Gordon I-Am. He does not like them with a silencer, he does not like them when they're quieter. He does not like them shooting his dad, he does not like them, they make him mad.


Panels from "There Is No Hope in Crime Alley!" in Detective Comics #457 (March 1976), script by Denny O'Neil, pencils and figure inks by Dick Giordano, background inks by Terry Austin, letters by Ben Oda

And he doesn't mind telling you about it, either. He's the equivalent of your grandpa telling the same old story about when he had Ben Grimm in the back of his cab. All the crooks know Batman doesn't like guns, and yet they risk hearing about it every time they pick up a gat or a roscoe. And also risk getting beaten to a pulp.


Panels from Batman #607 (November 2002), script by Ed Brubaker and Geoff Johns, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Andy Owens, colors by Gregory Wright, color separations by Wildstorm FX, letters by John Costanza

To be fair, all the really horrible homicidal criminals (Joker, Penguin, Kite-Man) are pretty pleased that Batman favors his patented "hammers of justice" instead of a gun. Batman was later denied this application from the Gotham Patent Office on the basis that you can't trademark your fists, but that doesn't stop the Caped and Gloved Crusader, no how, no way.


Panels from Legends of the Dark Knight digital comic #6 (July 2012); script by B. Clay Moore; pencils, inks, and colors by Ben Templesmith; letters by Saida Temofonte

Yes but aside from all that small discomfort and mild unpleasantness in Crime Alley on the night of June 26 — don't remember? Check here, and here, and also here to refresh your memory — why does Batman have such a strict personal boycott against guns, which, after all, are just tool not unlike your explosive batarangs shot out of and air compressor gun or maybe missiles fired into a parade commandeered by the Joker? What's better than a gun for senseless comic book violence, Batman?


Panels from "Fugitive from the Stars!" in World's Finest Comics #211 (May 1972), script by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Dick Dillin, inks by Joe Giella

Well, that certainly makes sense! So ergo, the conclusion we should draw from Batman comic books is


Panel from "Batman — Frontier Marshall" in Batman #99 (April 1956), script by Edmond Hamilton, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff, inks by Charles Paris, letters by Pat Gordon

So Batman never has a gun. What this feature presupposes, however...what if he did?


Yes, this month, all month: panels featuring Batman with a gun. Nope, he won't touch 'em, carry 'em, or hold 'em, except for every day in May! You might say April flowers bring May showers...of bullets! And it's true, lots of these are gonna be fake-outs or Batman doubles or hoaxes, dreams, imaginary stories...or comics written and drawn by Neal Adams, but get ready for Batman's Got a Gun by scoping (heh!) out some early examples of the Armed and Dangerous Dark Knight. These events may no longer be canon at hand, but he's certainly carrying a hand cannon! (tee hee)


Splash panels from "The Case of the Ruby Idol" in Detective Comics #35 (January 1940), script by Bill Finger, figure pencils and inks by Bob Kane, background pencils and letters by Sheldon Moldoff


Panels from "Batman vs. the Vampire, Part 2" in Detective Comics #32 (October 1939), script by Gardner F. Fox, figure pencils and inks by Bob Kane, background pencils and letters by Sheldon Moldoff


Panel from "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate" in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939); script by Bill Finger, pencils, inks, and letters by Bob Kane

So put your safety on and check back in every day, firing wildly into my blog, to see that Batman's Got a Gun! To the tune of this '80s classic! Ah, you know you've been humming it under your breath this whole time.