Hey, everybody! Get out your crayons and let's color!
I find it works best to get yourself the biggest box of crayons you can find:
Are you sitting comfortable? With your crayons? Then let's begin!
from Fantastic Four vs. the Frightful Four Coloring Book (1983)
Color the Thing orange.
Color Mr. Fantastic's uniform blue.
Color the Invisible Girl's face bright pink because from her expression, we know she is clearly drunk.
Don't color the Human Torch. He is dead.
from Marvel Super-Heroes Super Activity Book (1983)
Color the Hulk green.
Color the grass and trees green.
Color the mountains green. He is in Vermont.
What the heck, color the sky green.
Are you worried about Hulk?
Don't worry! Hulk always gets it in the end.
Color Loki's outfit green and gold. Loki is kind of a jerk, isn't he?
Color Thor's hair blonde. If you can find his neck, color that pink.
Loki looks pretty ticked off that Thor answered his riddle. Maybe you shouldn't have waved the magic pencil in his face, Loki.
If Heimdall was in this picture, you could color him any color you want.
from Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars: The Crime Of Centuries Coloring Book (1984)
Color Kang's uniform purple and green.
Color Napoleon's hat blue.
Color Dr. Martin Luther King brown.
Color Reagan...hey! Ronald Reagan? He doesn't belong in a montage of great leaders!
What's the matter, Kang...you couldn't find Winston Churchill?
(That's a dumb question. Kang can't even find a matching ensemble!)
Color the policeman's uniform and hat blue.
Color Doctor Octo...what the Sam Scratch is going on here? Doctor Octopus is kidnapping Ronald Reagan and taking him back in time on his War Wheel? Awesome!
Color me wishing this was a real comic.
Match the names with the faces. "We've matched the first name and face," it says on the bottom.
Color me bemused because they didn't match the first name and face.
Go ahead...color in Reagan's face purple and match him to the name "Kang." I won't tell anybody.
Do not get "King" confused with "Kang."
Now draw what the Secret Wars would have been if Spider-Man, Wolverine, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Doc Ock, Kang, and Ronald Reagan were kidnapped to Battleworld and forced to fight each other!
Color it any color you want. Because you should never listen to people who tell you to color things a particular color and...
So, in the Marvel Universe of the 1960s, who do you think is the most manly man of them all? And no, I'm not talking about chiseled Tony Stark, or suave Stephen Strange, or even nabobitty Namor "I'm too sexy to wear shirts" McKenzie. No, I'm talking about who Stan Lee considered the manliest man of the time. And as far as Stan's concerned, there is only one choice: Mister Lee has a big man-crush on Rock Hudson.
Well, who wouldn't?
The former Roy Harold Scherer, Jr. was apparently a popular choice of the Marvel Age's architect of the written word. "Where's your proof?" you ask. "Show me some examples, Bully!" you demand. And you've forgotten to say "please," but what the heck. I'm nothing if not obliging, 'specially where there's comic book panels referring to Rock Hudson to be parceled out. Everybody wait patiently in line and you'll all get one, okay?
Panel from Tales of Suspense #39 (March 1963)
Rock Hudson: geographically, he stands at a place within the area of dreaminess that is away from admiring girls on the beach, but with Tony Stark somewhere at a given point bisecting the line drawn between Rock himself and...look, I'm gonna have to draw a diagram to get this straight, so let me work on that while you move onto the next panel, okay?
Sure, nameless cameo-appearing beach bunnies in Tales of Suspense and Big Grey Clunky Armor may not suspect that historically, they might be barkin' up the wrong tree, vis-D-vis Monsieur Hudson, but hey, they are anonymous one-shot characters that will never appear again, unless it's in that big crowd scene in the Thor issue where our good-hearted Norse god decides to shake the hand, one by one, of everyone on Earth. Let's check in with a more regular denizen of the Marvel Universe, one who will eventually get to be played in the movies by Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes, folks, it's Margot Tenenbaum Pepper Potts herself! So, what do you think of Rock Hudson, Ms. Potts, keeping in mind your last name is "Potts"?
Panel from Tales of Suspense #45 (September 1963)
Huh, well, sure, Pepper has a big infatuation on Hudson as well. But can she be the only second banana in the MU who thinks Rock has appeal? Nope!
Panel from Amazing Spider-Man #43 (December 1966)
When you keep in mind that Mary Jane Watson had only first met Peter Parker in the previous issue, well, that's a mighty strong infatuation at first striking-of-the-jackpot to ditch a date with Rock Hudson for Petey...oh, wait, she's telling a joke. I get it. Ha, Mary Jane! Ha!
Why, even in the letter columns of Marvel Comics, Stan can't stop thinkin' about Rock Hudson long enough, and he's gotta refer to him in an editorial reply. How do you think that makes the Hulk feel, Stan? So jealous he's trying to smash puny Hudson right through the letter. But Rock Hudson is invulnerable to the Green Goliath's powerhouse slams! That's because he's Rock Hudson!
Letter from Incredible Hulk #102 (April 1968)
So there you go. If the Marvel Universe existed in the real world...and who says it doesn't...then the Sexiest Man Alive on the cover of Marvel People every year would have been Rock Hudson...a man so popular he has large yellow letters that follow him faithfully to point out his name to everyone. You know, I don't care who he liked to kiss...he's a sexy, handsome man. Rock Hudson, we salute you, you big beefsteak of manhood, you!
Also? He was Rock Quarry on The Flintstones. How cool is that?