Ten of a Kind Extra: It is, it is a glorious thing, to be a comic book pirate king! (International Talk Like a Pirate Day Edition)

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 262: International Talk Like a Pirate Day Edition

Panel from Fantastic Four #5 (July 1962), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Joe Sinnott

International Talk Like a Pirate Day Cartoon: Sinbad the Sailor

"Sinbad the Sailor" (1935), produced by Ub Iwerks

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 261

back in 1942, Ben Grimm (in an armored Thing suit) meets "Jazzy" John Romita in a scene from Marvel Two-in-One Annual #1 (1976), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Sal Buscema, inks by Sam Grainger, colors by Phil Rachelson, letters by John Costanza

(Click picture to living legend size)

It was round about then that his evil plan began to go a wee bit off the rails.

Bonus: could this be Stan Lee's Greatest Footnote?!?:


Panels from Tales to Astonish #28 (February 1962), script by Larry Lieber and Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers
Say, shouldn't that second panel look like this?:

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 260

Detail from a house ad for Marvel Fun and Games that ran in Marvel Comics throughout the early 1980s (this is from Fantastic Four #221, August 1980)
Click picture to see the entire ad

Because sometimes you just have to post a panel of Tony Stark in his underwear.

"Fair and balanced"—that's what all the comics blogosphere critics call yours little stuffed truly. Because sure, I did post a panel of Aurora in her underwear on Monday. But of course, I'm well aware that's not everybody's cup of tea. So, in the interest of giving equal time, I now present...the tighty-whiteys of Tony Stark!:


Panel from Iron Man #79 (October 1975), script by Mike Friedrich, pencils by George Tuska, inks by Vince Colletta, colors by Al Wenzel, letters by Dave Hunt:

And since Tony gets uniformed for action two panels later, that answers the question you're wondering—just like Brooke Shields—what gets between a man and his iron armor (with plenty of nose room)? Answer: nothing but his Calvins.

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 259

Panel from Giant-Size Super-Stars #1 (May 1974), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Rich Buckler, inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

Cute as a button...

...or is that...creepy as a button?



The last one definitely applies to this disturbing, unnerving kid from heck in Werewolf by Night #31. Sure, pretty much all the kids of the Marvel Universe have had their creepy moments...Franklin Richards, Katie Powers, Kristoff Vernard von Doom, little Jimmy Howlett, Kid Hulk...they all make ya cringe at one point or another. Well, they're mere...ahem...child's play compared to the spookiest, kookiest, ookiest Marvel Devil Child of them all...meet...and run away from...Buttons!:


All panels are from Werewolf by Night #31 (July 1975), script by Don Perlin and Doug Moench, pencils and inks by Don Perlin, colors by Michele Wolfman, letters by Dave Hunt

What's so bad about Buttons, you say? Well, even if you discount her misshapen face and her death-like stare, there's still her..um, obsession with marrying a man who is four or five times her age. (Also, who's a werewolf.)



The Oxford English Dictionary cites Werewolf by Night as the first appearance in print of the phrase "He's reeeel priddy." It would not make its spoken debut in the English language until the debut of the movie Deliverance.

Oh yes, that Buttons is "too much":



That's not "way cool, really neat, fab and gear" "too much," that's creeping me out beyond all human nature, kid "too much:



Now, 'round about now, I bet you're hoping that the old adage "this cover scene does not appear in this comic" is actually untrue in this case:



Which means you, me, and everybody else is waiting for, wishing on a star for, and applauding for this to happen:



GO WEREWOLF GO! GO WEREWOLF GO!



Sadly, Buttons's well-deserved ripping-apart at the hands of our hero was not to be. But all that was back in 1975. Nowadays, you can find Jack Russell (tee hee!), the Werewolf by Night, hanging around in a bar, patting a Drambuie-soused Dr. Strange on the back and reassuring him that Marvel's Midnight Sons imprint will be back any day, you betcha.

And Buttons? Whatever happened to creepy, skinny little Buttons? Well, she grew up. And...in other directions. And she became the lead singer for a girl group. Creepy, creepy Buttons...she had the last laugh. Creepy little Buttons had the last laugh on everybody.



And now you know...The Rest of the Story.

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 258

Panel from 1602: Fantastick Four #2 (December 2006), script by Peter David, pencils by Pascual Alixe, inks by John Livesay and Tom S. Chu, colors by Rob Schwager, letters by Todd Klein

Still this house is empty now/There's nothing I can do

Marvel Comic Annuals! Every summer they'd regale us with double-sized action, adventure, thrills and excitement of which our poor little puny human minds could not stand, so that we'd go back to school with our brains wiped, eager and ready to learn about the Taft-Hartley Act. Oh, those wacky guys at Marvel in league with the educators of the leaders tomorrow...how you bent our brains and shattered our senses!

Yes, every Marvel Annual was chock-a-block full of high adventure. On every single page action would leap our at you like a snarling tiger and maul you into shreds of raw lumpy meat! figuratively speaking, of course. Unless you had made the mistake of buying Giant-Size Real Life Tiger Annual #6, complete with leaping, angry tiger. Why, let's grab a Marvel Annual at complete random from the Bully Box o' Comics...slide it carefully out of the Mylar sleeve, that's right...watch out for the bubblegum stuck to the cover...oh, hey, whaddaya know, it's Alpha Flight Annual #1! Our cool and crispy Canadian friends to the north will surely provide us with thrills-a-plenty. If there's anything the Great White North, home of Sergeant Preston, Captain Canuck, and Lorne Greene can give us, it's non-stop thrill-a-page action! So let's flip open Alpha Flight Annual #1 and check out what mind-boggling thrills they have in store for us...


All panels are from Alpha Flight Annual #1 (May 1986), script by Bill Mantlo, layoputs by Larry Stroman, finishes and inks by Gerry Talaoc, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Janice Chiang

Oh. It's an empty room.

Well, surely the next panel will be exciting and sensation-packed:


Oh. Another...empty room.



Ummmm...yeah. Did I pick up Architectural Monthly by accident or...no, no, it is a Marvel Comic. Huh. Well, any minute now, you just watch, some Canadian superhero is gonna come bustin' through that wall, knocking over a rack of maple syrup and...



Now cut that out!



Huh. Yeah, this is what the kids enjoy in their comic books...a real estate tour. Now that's what Smilin' Stan founded the Marvel Universe for, right?!?



Awww, the heck with it. Let's turn the page. There oughta be some action on the next page somewhere...



So, in conclusion, what have we learned? We have learned that Alpha Flight Annual #1 is low on action...high on interior redecorating tips.

Also: Aurora in her underwear.


...

Okay, Alpha Flight Annual #1. You win. You win.

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 257

A panel from one of the very few Thing stories that will probably never be reprinted: Marvel Two-in-One #21 co-starring Doc Savage (November 1976), script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Ron Wilson, inks by Pablo Marcos, colors by Janice Cohen, letters by Karen Mantlo

Ten of a Kind: I'm pretty sure this is the last issue of this series

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

365 Days with Ben Grimm, Day 256

Panel from Fantastic Four #209 (August 1979), script by Marv Wolfman, breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes and inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski