Friday, March 13, 2009

Forty candles in my heart will glow, for ever and ever, for I love you so

SupermanIt's a special day here at Comics Oughta Be Fun, and that means we're not gonna post a silly panel of Ben Grimm doing something for our amusement. (Until later.) No, this is a momentous occasion for celebration, mirth, and drinking chocolate milkshakes (especially the milkshake part), because on this day was born...well, let's see, let's look at my birthday book...on this day was born the miniskirted Lois Lane of them all, Dana Delaney, and my favorite actor, William H. Macy, who delighted us so much with his star turns in Fargo and the television series Maude...but as much as I love 'em both, my heart today belongs to a man whose praises I must sing as he hits the big FOUR-OH, which in little stuffed bull years is as near to the grave as you can be and not be Boston Brand. I'm talking about that beautiful, brawny blogger we all know and love, the Michael with the mostest, Mister Mike Sterling of ProgressiveRuin.com. Happy birthday, Mike!

Now, everybody who knows anything about Mike, anybody who's read his blog for any amount of time or met the man in the legendary comic book store he works in, knows at least one important fact about Mike Sterling: the man is the world's biggest fan of that famous comic book swamp creature, the misunderstood monster within whom beats the heart of a gentle, loving man, but who has by circumstances and some abracadabering been transformed into a creature of grass and moss, of vines and leaves. A recluse who lives in his southern swamp, this creature nonetheless is one of the most important characters in his superhero universe. It's no wonder Mike Sterling is this hero's number one fan. Yes, folks, as we all know,

Mike Sterling loves Man-Thing!


Man-Thing


Yup, it's true! Mike Sterling loves and adores Man-Thing above all over comic book characters. Why, here he is reading one of his favorite issues of his champion character!:

Man-Thing


Corner Mike next time you see him and ask him to tell you all about Man-Thing! The guy loves to talk for hours about Ted Sallis's muck-encrusted alter-ego and his place in the modern Marvel Universe. Wanna have some fun? Pounce on Mike and ask him a series of fast-paced trivia questions about Man-Thing! Mike Sterling knows them all! You can't stump this guy on Man-Thing trivia!

As we're all aware, Mike is also a great fan of the paranormal and the unexplained. He enjoys the supernatural and often is caught scanning the skies for UFOs and other extraordinary objects! Mike is well-aware you may scoff at his extra-normal beliefs, but he will patiently tell you that there is no evidence at all that extraterrestrials did not visit us and build the Eiffel Tower! be sure to show him your assortment of blurry photographs of swamp balloons and weather gas...Mike wants to believe!

Mike is also a firm believer in the power of faith healing.
Man-Thing


In fact, Mike is so involved in the world of healing by touch that he actually once ran a faith revival in order to bring the miracle of this work to the common people!
Man-Thing


So be sure to tell him you too believe in this precious miracle by touching him in public. His touch with heal you!

Another thing I love about Mike Sterling: he's a huge fan of seeing his favorite comic book character fight a bear!
Man-Thing


Oh, no, wait, that's Chris Sims. (Sorry.)

Mike's also got a soft spot for those who practice magic! Mike is often heard to declare: "Magic has got to be real...since we haven't seen it in public, that means it exists, because only wizards and witches could keep magic hidden from us so well!" You can't argue with logic like that!
Man-Thing


Also, make sure you wish Mike a happy fortieth birthday by giving him one of the hidden handshakes of the many secret societies he belongs to! Just don't ask him which ones...coz he'll have to kill you!
Man-Thing


Yes, Mike Sterling is a man of many interests and talents, and yet it all comes back to the guiding center of his life—his love for Man-Thing. Here's a special birthday video for you, Mike! I realize you know it all by heart since you're such a huge Man-Thing fanatic, but be sure to read along with the record!



Yes, it's just not a birthday celebration without Mike's special favorite pal Man-Thing hanging about! So, make sure you invite him to the birthday party!
Man-Thing


And for your vegetarian guests, be sure to serve a festive birthday salad!
Man-Thing


Why, when his favorite hero Man-Thing is around, Mike's birthday party is sure to be a smashing success!
Man-Thing


And now, it's time to start Mike Sterling's 40th birthday party!:
Man-Thing


Oh, wait, sorry. I captioned that wrong. Try this one!:

Man-Thing


You always have to be careful when you're lighting up so many candles as Mike will have on his birthday cake, so...
Man-Thing


Whoops, got a little bit out of control there. Luckily, we've got 40 more candles, and...
Man-Thing


That'll happen when you're trying to get forty candles lit at once! Still, nothing that you can't fix with a little extra frosting and 40 more candles and...

Man-Thing


Seriously, Mannie, maybe you ought to step aside and let somebody else try it this time...
Man-Thing


Okay, Mike, we'll just have to go without the 40 candles on your cake this year. But now it's time to open your gifts. I got you something that I knew you'd love and adore, combining two of your favorite things in the world:

MAN-THING POGS!

Man-Thing


So, join me in wishing a very Man-Thing birthday to the biggest fan of Man-Thing around, Mister Mike Sterling, and hope that he has a wonderful year ahead full of Man-Thing and all the joy that Man-Thing can bring to you in...

What?

What's that?

Swamp Thing?

Eh. The heck with him, then.

(Happy birthday, Mike!)


7 comments:

Michael Jones said...

I thought for sure your punchline would be, "Nevermind!"
Regardless, everyone knows he's really partial to The Heap!

SallyP said...

Pogs AND a Man-Thing salad! Who could ask for more on their birthday?

Philip G. said...

Man Thing pogs? Me wanty.

Sea_of_Green said...

What isn't there to love about giant-sized man-things?

Oops, that didn't come out right ...

jehingr said...

I hurt myself laughing when I finally caught, half-way through, that you weren't talking about Swamp Thing.

Thanks for the laugh Bully!

Jim

David C said...

Huh, that's pretty heavy material for Power Records....

Cully said...

Truth is that Mike actually does love the Man-Thing too. He just doesn't own Man-Thing slippers or 11 copies (in different forms) of his first appearance.